Do you want to have kids/a family? | INFJ Forum

Do you want to have kids/a family?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Soulful, Oct 16, 2010.

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  1. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    Do you want to have kids/a family?

    What about it appeals to you?

    Why do you want to be a parent?



    Or anything else?
     
    #1 Soulful, Oct 16, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2010
  2. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    Someday.
     
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  3. NiennaLadyOfTears

    NiennaLadyOfTears Goth Hobbit Lass
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    I'm fine with things just being the two of us. I don't have any particular desires for a child, but I know I may get one anyway. (The reason being I am pretty much allergic to all the kinds of birth control out there... and I've tried all the ones that the doctor prescribed and could legally give me, + over the counter stuff.) The doctor is unwilling to let my husband get a vasectomy because he's just 27 and the doctor feels that we will change our minds someday.

    Honestly I don't want biological children at least; later I may adopt, but for now our family would be more complete with some furbabies that we can't have right now due to our housing situation.
     
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  4. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    For a second I read that as "allergic to kids", lol
     
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  5. Gaze

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    Why do you want to have kids/a family?
    - I like the idea of having a child, grow with and develop a relationship with another human being who has my genes. :D I'd love to adopt as well. I think it would be an interesting experience, even if it isn't the easiest experience being a parent today. I'd love to have the opportunity the find out what kind of parent i'd be, to know my strengths and weaknesses.

    What about it appeals to you?
    - sea above

    Why do you want to be a parent?
    - see first response

    Or anything else?
    - Not sure i could handle two or more kids, but i don't think it would be healthy for a child to be alone. Having a sibling means, hopefully, they won't feel alone, they'd have each other as a source of support, even if they don't always get along.

    Where i've changed my views the most on this issue, is whether or not a relationship is necessary to have this. I'd rather adopt and have a child on my own than marry for the sake of having a family, as long as i'm a fit mom and have the financial means to handle that responsibility alone. It seems that marriage and family seems to take a toll on a relationship over the long term, so I wouldn't want to marry to have kids.

    And i think as i get older, i'm not sure that i'd push to have kids beyond a certain age. I'm not sure i'd have the motivation, especially since the chances of getting pregnant are reduced once we reach a certain age.
     
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    #5 Gaze, Oct 16, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2010
  6. Saru Inc

    Saru Inc Schrödinger's Pussy
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    I never want kids. I'd go fucking berserk and strangle them eventually. Maybe if I ever got my anger and impulsiveness under control, but I'm not about to have some kid piss me off and land me in jail for life.
     
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  7. NiennaLadyOfTears

    NiennaLadyOfTears Goth Hobbit Lass
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    That too.
     
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  8. bagelriffic

    bagelriffic Community Member

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    i think i'd be a good dad, i've always done my best to stay in tune with children when they're around, and more often than not enjoy their company. my ma babysits some young ins throughout the week and i feel drawn to their innocence curiosity and playfulness. i love the idea of explaining things to them so that they know something they didn't two seconds ago. oh and i'd always wanted to have one of my own, and then adopt another.

    with that said i couldn't do it alone, and so whether or not i end up with kids in the future isn't just my choice to make. i wouldn't want to quit my career or give up on my dreams to be a stay at home parent, and so i could never force anyone else to either.
     
  9. kita

    kita <font color=#990066>Regular Poster</font>

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    I really do want kids, but am terrified of having a screaming baby that never sleeps.
     
  10. Claridon

    Claridon Community Member

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    I have never been married, but I did have a three year relationship with a woman who had two children, 8 and 10, that due to schedules, I help take care of. I picked them up from school, helped them with their homework, stayed around until they went to bed. I was surprised to discover that I enjoyed the idea of being a part of raising kids. I never thought about it much previously, though I did have pets and work at a Humane Society, which may have hinted at nurturing qualities.

    I would like to be married someday and kids, while not mandatory...I wouldn't mind.
     
  11. middle1

    middle1 Hellur

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    Yeah that happens, a lot.

    I always swore up and down I was never having kids or getting married. I knew I wasn't cutout for motherhood or being a wifey. I'm just not domesticated like that. I didn't want to bring someone into this cold world and mess them up.

    But I fell in love and changed my mind. I have two beautiful kiddos that have made me a better person.
     
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  12. SamE

    SamE Community Member

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    I'd be freaky scared because there is a lot of devil spawn genes in my family that makes me think twice, no, 10 times more on whether I would want children and what kind of genetic legacy would they have.
     
  13. yepunsarang

    yepunsarang Community Member

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    Not sure why, i'm only 20, but this has somewhat overtaken my brain as of late. I think I just realized for the first time *eureka!* how much having my own family means to me. It means a great, great, great deal...more than I ever thought. I was initially extremely interested in diplomacy, but I see now that may be that's not possible. If I place that much focus on my family (= to my career), it might be very difficult to juggle.

    In some ways, I'm already a bit sick of people---how they just don't seem to "cut it" for me. I just want to find someone (well, i've already found someone who I might want to be with for life) very special and stay with them. I'm not much of a floater I think, don't get tempted too easily. When I've set my heart on something, it is something I will work on and always try to better. Once I'm convinced i've found the best, I"m convinced it totally is.
     
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  14. Matariki

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    I'm keen with the concept of adopting. However I couldn't picture myself going through with something as traumatic as pregnancy. It wouldn't fit with my career (film director) and would be unfair on my biological offspring. Children need a mother and deserve to have motherly love, I can't give them that by attending meetings overseas on the latest film projects and working all day and night. By the time I would of established my career I would probably be past my physical prime to have children of my own (not a bad thing in my book), that's where the adopting part comes into play.

    I've always liked kids and enjoy working with them. They know no limits and no boundaries when it comes to their thinking and imagination. Being an ENTP, I've always considered myself to be a kid at heart and I find that I can relate with them better than other people my own age. I grew up looking after my younger siblings, so responsibility was something that came to me from a young age. I am no stranger to looking after babies either, I am more than used to walking up and down in the middle of the night sending children to dream land (I've done it more times than I can remember) tiring, but much more better than sleeping with screaming children in the back of your mind.

    Love is one of the greatest gifts that one can give and receive. Its one that I want to share. Giving love to children who would not otherwise be able to receive it from their own biological parents, and to help them pave the way to their futures would be an honor. One day I hope to have that opportunity to do so.

    Like myself, I never asked to be born and neither did the children that are being born today and who are unfortunate not to receive the care and love a child needs.
    Two peas in a pod, mother and child, both different and yet alike in their circumstances.
    A mother to me doesn't mean biologically reproducing, it means building a bridge of love and being there no matter what, to protect and to guide throughout their life/lives and setting a positive example to the next generation and generations to come.
     
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    #14 Matariki, Oct 16, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2010
  15. Galileo

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    I think i'm mostly undecided on that.

    Realistically, Peter and I probably never will because of his age, and I'm not getting younger, and I don't think it would be fair on a child to have to lose a parent long before he should have to. It seems a tad bit selfish in my opinion if I put it that way.

    though I would really really like to.

    I'd like to because I like the idea of teaching a young mind all about the world and how it works, watching them grow up and figure out things.there's something pretty amazing about raising a child.
     
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  16. jyrffw54

    jyrffw54 שכינה עוֹלֶה

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    I want to a have kids (like one or two max)
    I am not crazy about the idea of pregnancy, but when I think about the fact that my mother went through it, her mother went through it, and her mother's mother went through it, it doesn't sound as bad.

    What appeals to me about having a child is the same reason as Anita's: I feel this warm inner glow at the thought of watching someone with my genes grow, the product of my and my husband's love.

    I actually don't like babies too much because they seem to be always dripping in some kind of goo, or screaming and crying at any hour they please, so I might consider adopting.
     
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  17. Nixie

    Nixie Resurrected

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    No. NO. NOOOOOOOO.
    Nuff said.
     
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  18. Siamese cat

    Siamese cat Madame Cat strikes again

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    Do you want to have kids/a family?

    Yea, I do some day. I'm not ready for kids yet, but I'd like to live with somebody and share my everyday life more than I am at the moment. I'd like to travel, to work somewhere abroad, to be without any obligations like those that kids impose, at the moment and for the some time in the future. But I'd like to have kids some day, and even the thought of pregnancy is not so scary to me any more.

    What about it appeals to you?


    That seems like the next stage of personal development that needs to be done. I have a feeling that I have to share more of me in order to grow more as an individual, if that makes any sense.

    Why do you want to be a parent?

    I believe that when it comes to learning new stuff about life and whatnot, by just plain observing and socialising with adults, reading and such, one can learn only so much. There comes a point, at least in my opinion, when in order to learn more, one has to see the life through eyes of a child, and there is no better way to do so, than shearing yourself with your own child, and by teaching him, expanding your own knowledge and understanding of the world we live in.
     
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  19. oddgirlout

    oddgirlout Quirkess at your service
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    **Braces for tomatoes to be lobbed in her direction**

    No, I do not want to have children. I am 33 and I remember thinking that maybe as I get older the desire to have children would increase, but honestly it hasn't. That being said, I very much enjoy children but I think they are not for me. Perhaps my own childhood has caused this outcome, who knows.

    In my mind when a person commits to having a child, that child, their development, well being...everything becomes the focus of your being. I'm not ready to change my other relationships in order to be the kind of mother I would want to be, nor do I know if I am capable of doing so successfully.

    An interesting tidbit, I am finding an almost discrimination like attitude against women my age who are capable of having children but choose not to. This is a topic I really had to think about replying to because I have been met with such disdain. People have used terms such as selfish, abnormal and self involved when discussing this topic. I don't understand where the lack of tolerance has come from when it comes to this issue. Not saying anyone here has made me feel that way but I'm wondering if this is related to the region I live in, my age group, my profession, or is this truly something others with a similar stance experience as well?
     
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  20. Nixie

    Nixie Resurrected

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    *Sonyab holds up "I am selfish, abnormal and self involved" sign*
    I got your back oddgirlout...
     
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