Do you like teasing: giving or receiving?
- Thread starter Gaze
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Res: (posting here because i can't pm you, there's no option?) sorry no, i won't do that.
and to answer your original q:
So, do you like to tease? Who, what, when, how and why?
yes i do, who - everyone i like. what? about silly things that don't matter (in my mind). why? because it's fun, and usually harmless
Do you like to be teased? Why or why not? Does it depend on the person, relationship, or situation?
i don't mind, but yeah it depends on the situation. if we're onto a serious issue then i'd like to concentrate on that and get the job done first. also, i don't really tease strangers because it might offend them.
When is teasing too much? How do you respond when it gets over the top?
when it's offensive or hurtful, when it becomes less of a joke and more of a criticism. if it gets over the top i'll stop, & if necessary, apologize.
and to answer your original q:
So, do you like to tease? Who, what, when, how and why?
yes i do, who - everyone i like. what? about silly things that don't matter (in my mind). why? because it's fun, and usually harmless
Do you like to be teased? Why or why not? Does it depend on the person, relationship, or situation?
i don't mind, but yeah it depends on the situation. if we're onto a serious issue then i'd like to concentrate on that and get the job done first. also, i don't really tease strangers because it might offend them.
When is teasing too much? How do you respond when it gets over the top?
when it's offensive or hurtful, when it becomes less of a joke and more of a criticism. if it gets over the top i'll stop, & if necessary, apologize.
Do you like to be teased? Why or why not? Does it depend on the person, relationship, or situation?
When is teasing too much? How do you respond when it gets over the top?[/QUOTE]
I love teasing, I think it's hilarious. I tease everyone I'm close to about little things. For example, when my mom stumbles on her words, or says something completely ridiculous, I point it out. I tease my boyfriend about his nose (it's big) and about his hair (he has a little bit of a bald spot at the part in the back). I do it because I like them, which may be considered strange because I am merciless when it comes to teasing. As in everything, I have a hard time taking into consideration the other person's feelings. I notice when I go to far, but I'm usually too stubborn about the fact that "hey this is who I am" to apologize. It's almost as if I believe once something is said there is nothing you can do about it. I know that there are times to be serious though. If I'm having an argument with someone I'm close to I try not to tease them if their anger makes them slip up. I know how to bite my tongue, I just don't like to. Also, I don't tease people in professional or academic situations.
At the same time, I enjoy being teased by my friends and family. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen and all that. I don't like to be teased by people I don't know unless I'm trying to initiate a friendship with them. When I met my boyfriend I started teasing him right away because I felt a spark between us and wanted to to test it. Fortunately, he didn't get upset with me, or think I was mean.
For me, there are certain things that go to far when it comes to teasing. I don't like to be teased about my mental illness at all. I hate when people call me crazy (although I'm allowed to say such things about myself) or laugh about mental illness in general. I also don't like people to tease me about who I associate with. I'm very loyal when it comes to who I call a friend and if an outsider makes fun of them I can get pretty defensive. When teasing gets too far I usually point it out or get quiet and reserved. I'm not afraid to tell people when I'm upset but sometimes I get so angry that I don't even think they deserve enough of my time for me to tell them. I just shut down the conversation.
When is teasing too much? How do you respond when it gets over the top?[/QUOTE]
I love teasing, I think it's hilarious. I tease everyone I'm close to about little things. For example, when my mom stumbles on her words, or says something completely ridiculous, I point it out. I tease my boyfriend about his nose (it's big) and about his hair (he has a little bit of a bald spot at the part in the back). I do it because I like them, which may be considered strange because I am merciless when it comes to teasing. As in everything, I have a hard time taking into consideration the other person's feelings. I notice when I go to far, but I'm usually too stubborn about the fact that "hey this is who I am" to apologize. It's almost as if I believe once something is said there is nothing you can do about it. I know that there are times to be serious though. If I'm having an argument with someone I'm close to I try not to tease them if their anger makes them slip up. I know how to bite my tongue, I just don't like to. Also, I don't tease people in professional or academic situations.
At the same time, I enjoy being teased by my friends and family. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen and all that. I don't like to be teased by people I don't know unless I'm trying to initiate a friendship with them. When I met my boyfriend I started teasing him right away because I felt a spark between us and wanted to to test it. Fortunately, he didn't get upset with me, or think I was mean.
For me, there are certain things that go to far when it comes to teasing. I don't like to be teased about my mental illness at all. I hate when people call me crazy (although I'm allowed to say such things about myself) or laugh about mental illness in general. I also don't like people to tease me about who I associate with. I'm very loyal when it comes to who I call a friend and if an outsider makes fun of them I can get pretty defensive. When teasing gets too far I usually point it out or get quiet and reserved. I'm not afraid to tell people when I'm upset but sometimes I get so angry that I don't even think they deserve enough of my time for me to tell them. I just shut down the conversation.
I don't usually tease people, and I generally dislike people teasing me. Around friends, I'll tolerate it and laugh through my discomfort so that our converstaion doesn't become awkward. I get very worried at family gatherings especially, because most of my family loves to tease me, and I have to spend some time trying to think of a response to whatever they say, which makes me blank out and get self-conscious. Also, they know a lot about me, so I find myself thinking "I hope they don't bring up..."
If someone draws attention to something that another person is clearly self-conscious about by teasing them, or if they tease me about my family or friends, I get angry and defensive, and will let the person know that what they said was completely out of line.
If someone teases my taste in music, art, clothing etc., I start to get embarassed or anxious and try to change the subject. Even if they don't mean any harm, and I realize that, I can't help but feel that they're attacking me personally because they're making light of things I find important to my identity.
I guess I don't tease people often because I'm always taking into account the environment, wondering how people will respond to what I say, and avoiding being offensive. If I do tease someone, it will probably be well thought out and timed. I've been told that I take myself too seriously because of this. Maybe I do.
If someone draws attention to something that another person is clearly self-conscious about by teasing them, or if they tease me about my family or friends, I get angry and defensive, and will let the person know that what they said was completely out of line.
If someone teases my taste in music, art, clothing etc., I start to get embarassed or anxious and try to change the subject. Even if they don't mean any harm, and I realize that, I can't help but feel that they're attacking me personally because they're making light of things I find important to my identity.
I guess I don't tease people often because I'm always taking into account the environment, wondering how people will respond to what I say, and avoiding being offensive. If I do tease someone, it will probably be well thought out and timed. I've been told that I take myself too seriously because of this. Maybe I do.
i agree with jonathan, to me it feels as though 95% of teasing i encounter is a passive bullying technique, or some sort of social game that i must then figure out a reply to. usually i just bite my tongue until i can leave the situation.
Pointing out a flaw in another person or seeing another person do something clumsy or idiotic (as long as they aren't seriously injured) brings us happiness. Laughter seems very cruel in a way.
We all have flaws, so, of course, to a very rational person, teasing seems/is harmless. They aren't necessarily implying their own superiority when they tease. But some people are just too sensitive and conscientious to tease.
I know that I have flaws, but I don't really want people pointing them out, even if I know they still love me. I get defensive, and that's embarassing to admit. But it's sort of like, what gives you the right to point out something stupid that I've done when you've done just as many stupid things on your own? This might seem like I'm just the really weak one here, but I don't like when others use self-deprecating humor, either. It's not funny to me to focus on negatives and flaws. (If anything, I just feel like fixing them all. Forget sitting around and laughing about it.)
We all have flaws, so, of course, to a very rational person, teasing seems/is harmless. They aren't necessarily implying their own superiority when they tease. But some people are just too sensitive and conscientious to tease.
I know that I have flaws, but I don't really want people pointing them out, even if I know they still love me. I get defensive, and that's embarassing to admit. But it's sort of like, what gives you the right to point out something stupid that I've done when you've done just as many stupid things on your own? This might seem like I'm just the really weak one here, but I don't like when others use self-deprecating humor, either. It's not funny to me to focus on negatives and flaws. (If anything, I just feel like fixing them all. Forget sitting around and laughing about it.)
Yes! Good point. I find there's always either something behind the teasing remark, or a test to see how well I handle myself socially. Either way, it's difficult to say anything.
Same here. I tease people I care about all the time. If you didn't know my friends and I, you'd think we hate each other. We never miss a chance to knock on one another, but it's our way of showing that we care. We can be serious when need be. My family and I tease each other all the time. I tease my girlfriend almost religiously. I can't be too nice to her. If I find myself saying too many nice things in a row, I make sure to knock her down a few pegs, out of love of course. She never skips a beat. She teases me right back. If you didn't know us, you'd probably think we despise one another. "Fuck you" here "screw you there", "you suck at _____", "how could you say something so stupid?" It's all love, and it makes both of us laugh. I love teasing and being teased.
Can understand this . . .
Yeah, had more than enough of this when i was younger, and currently as well. Today, especially, it's used to undermine someone's authority. And is often quite effective. But it seems the more you show that the teasing affects you, the more joy the teasing bully seems to get out of it. That's the problem. I guess not allowing yourself to be bothered by it or seeming to care about it, seems to be a recommended technique for dealing with it. So, playing along or laughing it off supposedly makes the sting of the tease less biting or less effective.
Interesting point.
With friends, i get and understand.
Can understand this . . .
Yeah, have my fair share of this nonsense. Today, especially, it's used to more frequently to undermine authority. And is often quite effective. But it seems the more you show that the teasing affects you, the more joy the teasing bully seems to get out of it. That's the problem. I guess not allowing yourself to be bothered by it usually works (but not always). I've even tried indifference and they still kept going. I pretty much just stared in amazement. But, playing along or laughing it off supposedly makes the sting of the tease less biting or less effective.
Interesting point.
With friends, i get and understand.
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My favorite thing my boyfriend has ever said when he ran out of comebacks was, "You are a witch."
Just the way he said it, it killed me.
I'm pretty sure his neighbor's thought we hated each other, he'd be walking to the shower and we'd scream at each other through the door:
"Whore!"
"Bitch!"
etc. etc.
My bff have this line of abuses we throw at eachother, we have done it since Highschool
Bitch
Slut
Wore
Cunt
STD infested Cunt bubble...
Purple Vaginal Discharge...
(gross I know...but it always makes us laugh)