Do you censor yourself? | INFJ Forum

Do you censor yourself?

Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by under skies, Apr 21, 2010.

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  1. under skies

    under skies Community Member

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    I tried finding a thread on this topic but couldn
     
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  2. rawr

    rawr ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    censor as in, exercise restraint? sorry, lil slow here
     
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  3. Daeledin

    Daeledin <font color=#575EC1>NVs Fanboi</font>

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    I'm polite as fuck
     
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  4. OP
    under skies

    under skies Community Member

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    Yes. Filtering yourself, basically. Something you might want to say but won't, for whatever reason.
     
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  5. Norton

    Norton XXXX

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    Yes, but it's often too late. Then I feel like a jerk.

    But, seriously, I also censor what I expose myself to. For example, I'm not inclined to go to a movie that I know is depressing, even if it's a great one. As an INTP, I just don't want to be overwhelmed by too many feelings at once. I prefer feelings I can take in slowly. This must seem weird to INFJ's.
     
  6. rawr

    rawr ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    yes, i do that. hard to say how often though.
     
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  7. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    haha, i can relate. knowing when to keep your damn mouth shut is extremely important imo!
     
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  8. Daeledin

    Daeledin <font color=#575EC1>NVs Fanboi</font>

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    On a serious note; yes I do. I don't even have to try to do it. Growing up I was never asked my opinion on things by most people since no one wanted a kid's opinion. Eventually this turned into a habit of me not saying anything about what other people did, dressed, thought, or so on. When you get in the habit of not putting in your input then its easy to not even have to try to censor yourself. You just won't think of things that will offend people. At least not until 5 minutes past whenever its appropriate to even mention it (for example the conversation moving on).

    You might wonder why I think opinions about little things matter when it comes to self censorship. Well like I mentioned it does habit form in you. The real damage is not asserting yourself both in an attempt to not hurt their feelings but also your own to avoid backlash. Sometimes its really just avoiding being hurt under the guise of kindness for others. I have a theory about what this ends up doing to you.

    It makes it harder for you to reach out to people. Unless you assert yourself (sometimes harsh words, verbal diarrhea, or remarks) you don't get other people to open up. When you can't get people to open up they will obviously be shutting you out thus making it harder to establish deeper ties of friendship. It's always a two way street mind you. Maybe sometimes we feel lonely because no one asks us the questions that demonstrate others actually show interest in us.


    That's my take on censorship for the moment. I went down my own narrow avenue with it. There's more to it of course.

    ...BITCH!
    (sorry, can't help the internet Tourettes) :m171:
     
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    #8 Daeledin, Apr 21, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2010
    under skies likes this.
  9. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    I must agree. I learned this the hard way.lol
     
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  10. RecklessDreamer

    RecklessDreamer Permanent Fixture

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    I do that when I have an opinion, but it wasn't asked for. For instance, if I hear people around me having a conversation and I find it to be absurd, I'm not likely to voice that no matter how much something in me wants to say, "Are you f*ing kidding me?!" It's not my place; I wasn't asked and therefore my input isn't needed.
     
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  11. Gaze

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    Like yeah.
     
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  12. middle1

    middle1 Hellur

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    Absolutely, especially when I'm tempted to give advice. I can't stand unsolicited advice or people forcing their opinions on me, so I try to give respect in not doing that to others.
     
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  13. OP
    under skies

    under skies Community Member

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    I'd like to add on to the question. Do you ever feel when you are doing this that you are doing it to an unreasonable extent? What I want to know, basically, is how much choice is involved.

    Does your self-imposed self-restraint ever hinder your own will?
     
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  14. rawr

    rawr ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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    thought provoking question indeed. no i do not feel i do it to an unreasonable extent. a lot of choice for me, very intentional. usually in either the context that it's superfluous or uncalled for, or that it's just in general more beneficial for the situation & others for me to keep my mouth shut. to quote Res's quote: "I like restraint, so long as it doesn't go too far." - Mae West :p
     
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  15. bagelriffic

    bagelriffic Community Member

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    id have to say that yes it feels unreasonable, i can't even talk to most people about things that are interesting to me, because next thing i know im wrapped up in a competition or a complete conversation melt down.. thank god for infjF d:
     
  16. TaylorS

    TaylorS Community Member

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    Yes, mainly in reaction to people getting ticked off at me when I was a kid because I would drone on and on about whatever I was currently interested in, not thinking if the other person was interested.
     
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  17. IndigoSensor

    IndigoSensor Product Obtained
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    100% of everything I say gets passed through about 5 filters, gets queried, triplicated, filed, reviewed, printed, and then can be said. As such I am a slow methodical thinker, and come across as overly politically correct and polite.
     
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  18. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    I'm currently in a need of one. D: Where's my Ti? D: (answer : probably tired and dying because of exhaustion)

    that being said, usually I filter myself. Quite a lot, whether it's a "hmm, how will they react?", or "what's the possible reaction I'd get?", and "is this appropriate?"

    I think I should add the golden rule.
     
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  19. Norton

    Norton XXXX

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    Actually, the easiest way for an introvert to self-censor is to remain silent. To me, it's natural.
     
  20. WellNoWonder

    WellNoWonder Peace Through Action

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    This...

    But sometimes I really want to get some rude, impolite, crass, politically-damn-incorrect stuff off of my chest and I just store it until it seems like it fits right in a conversation. It usually does....

    Sometimes I get the "wtf did you just say?" look but it's all good. I'm used to it..
     
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