Do INFJ's appear to be ISTJ's? | INFJ Forum

Do INFJ's appear to be ISTJ's?

oddi

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May 7, 2011
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My boyfriend has tested INTJ with only a 1% T preference and ISTJ. I consider him an INFJ despite him never testing as one. When I first met him I internally typed him as an INFJ. I "saw" his introverted intuition and idealism from a mile away. HOWEVER, he acts very much like an ISTJ in situations that I am not involved in e.g. work & financial matters. He is in the military so that explains why he would appear ISTj-ish. I too am in the military and see from a mile away how the "system" wants me to "drink the kool-aid" and become a good little ESTJ or ISTJ. He disagrees with my kool-aid ramblings when it comes to military life. Is that idealism or just a "duty fulfiller" carrying on his duties? When I read the ISTJ profile I can see the similarities between his personality and overall generic description of an ISTJ. However, when I read a more in depth description of an INFJ--THAT's HIM too! He can be such an idealist "girl"--well he is all the time. I am attracted to that and he has softened my cynical and jaded perspective on people and life- I suppose. He is learning to not become so sensitive to perceived rejection from me or lack of appreciation to his thoughtfulness. Can you INFJ's shed some light on this for me? Do you identify with the ISTJ profile? Are INFJ men afraid of appearing INFJ to the public? Do many INFJ's appear ISTJ on the surface?
 
No, but INTJs and ISTJs 'look' like INFPs due to Fe PoLR.
 
Nope, INFJs dont 'get' us.
 
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I do believe an INFJ can "turn on" to be like an ISTJ in work situations. They would have to master the ability to separate feelings from logic in order to be successful in certain occupations, such as military. If this occupation does not allow for personal growth, they will HATE their job. The J makes them both goal oriented and grants ability to complete tasks efficiently and productively. I am an INFJ with 40% S/T traits, but I cannot identify with the ISTJ description (and I'm a woman.) The INFJ in me has the ability to look at a situation and pull it apart into pieces and then explain it with S/T logic. For instance, in my work as a lay guardian ad litem. I'm given child whom I have to look deep into their life in order to report on what I think is in their best interest. I look at the history of the child, the parents .. I can understand their dynamics, psychology and why they are doing the things they are doing ... then the S/T looks at items on the surface where I can gain tangible proof.

An ISTJ cannot "turn on" to be an INFJ. They are simply not wired in matters of emotion like the INFJ. An ISTJ is very stable, b/c they are surface oriented. If things are working properly, they are content. They are not interested in "why" they work (like the INFJ.) The ISTJ will tell an INFJ: "You keep looking for the meaning of life, while life is passing you by." The ISTJ is the car riding down a long, flat stretch of road and the INFJ is the rollar coaster ride. There again, an INFJ is good at talking in metaphors in order to explain things better (whereas I don't think the ISTJ can, but they can understand the metaphor.)

Hope this helps. I'm married to an ISTJ as well. :D
 
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What's that?

Okay, Jung claims that the tertiary functions are the opposite of what MBTI states.

i.e. INFJ is Te, not Ti. From a behavioural stand point, ISFJs and INFJs spend an awful lot of time talking their particular logic, just as INTJ/ISTJ spend an awful lot of time talking their particular ethics.

So it seems that the 'apparently introverted' function is extroverted. But it's a one way street, the individual vents it but that's all, it's not reciprocal with the environment.

Socionics states that the opposite of the tertiary is 'reactionary' thus ISTJs and INTJs tend to hold strong opinions which they won't compromise upon, the Fi of an IxTJ is apparently so extreme that one can expect them to vent it continually without considering the attributes of the opposite attitude.


Case in point.
 
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Do INFJ's appear to be STD's?...

Is what I keep reading the thread title as.
 
My boyfriend has tested INTJ with only a 1% T preference and ISTJ. I consider him an INFJ despite him never testing as one. When I first met him I internally typed him as an INFJ. I "saw" his introverted intuition and idealism from a mile away. HOWEVER, he acts very much like an ISTJ in situations that I am not involved in e.g. work & financial matters. He is in the military so that explains why he would appear ISTj-ish. I too am in the military and see from a mile away how the "system" wants me to "drink the kool-aid" and become a good little ESTJ or ISTJ. He disagrees with my kool-aid ramblings when it comes to military life. Is that idealism or just a "duty fulfiller" carrying on his duties? When I read the ISTJ profile I can see the similarities between his personality and overall generic description of an ISTJ. However, when I read a more in depth description of an INFJ--THAT's HIM too! He can be such an idealist "girl"--well he is all the time. I am attracted to that and he has softened my cynical and jaded perspective on people and life- I suppose. He is learning to not become so sensitive to perceived rejection from me or lack of appreciation to his thoughtfulness. Can you INFJ's shed some light on this for me? Do you identify with the ISTJ profile? Are INFJ men afraid of appearing INFJ to the public? Do many INFJ's appear ISTJ on the surface?

An ST cannot be an NF unless they were introduced to that "other world" at a very early stage in life (as in one or both parents were) - that's my own personal opinion on that at least. I think any type can adapt to be like others at times, but their core personality will be the one that determines their "life" decisions.

Joining the military, for instance, is not something an NF would consider unless they were "programmed" that way early on. At some point though, their reality will come crashing down around them, either before or after they've already enlisted. Being able to see a situation develop, know what will happen, yet not be in a position to do anything about it would drive most NF's I know completely insane. Also, being given a partial order and a structured method of doing things without being able to see the big picture or alter the methods at all will wreak havoc on a person's Ni/Ne if they have those traits.

So, I would say an INFJ can "pretend" to be another type in various situations (I often get mistaken as an ENFJ in certain situations) but it's not in their nature to keep it up for prolonged periods of time. If he's in the military and fully buys into the military brain-washing, then you're probably not dealing with an INFJ.
 
I do this on a regular basis at my grocery job. It's more of an affect than actual demeanor. When talked to for more than two minutes, my NF will readily come out. Otherwise I can appear more aloof than I usually look thanks to me putting my head down and working. It's probably less functional than I want--engaging ESxJs (esp. managers) for a prolonged period can be very draining. This way I can conserve some energy before crashing at home.
 
No. Fundamentally ISTJs and INFJs are very different.
 
The military is an ISTJ organization. My daughter is INFP, but tested as an ISTJ after a year in the military. I don't know the person you are discussing, so my opinion isn't worth much at this point. That said, what I suspect is that you are seeing a "persona" he uses at work. We INFJ's are superb at developing different personas to use in different situations -- it's like putting on different hats depending on whether you are going to the beach or the opera.
 
They definitely can. Who can tell what is boiling under the surface? If both types are introverted, who can really say what their thought processes are like until they speak? This applies mostly to outsiders and strangers.

Seeing as the OP knows the subject in question: people seldom fit into the neat little box that is their theoretical type. Try to look at what characteristics are dominant, and have been dominant, through the course of their lives.

Also, I would not rely on tests to determine type. I happen to test as an INTJ every time I take one, but actually identify with INFJ more than any other type.
 
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Hey, man, you offend me. My type and I, we feel offended by your remark.

I enjoyed you joke just now, but if you were being serious then what you are doing is called whining.
 
[MENTION=731]Hoggle[/MENTION]

Me? Serious? Never :p
 
He can be such an idealist "girl"--well he is all the time. I am attracted to that and he has softened my cynical and jaded perspective on people and life- I suppose. He is learning to not become so sensitive to perceived rejection from me or lack of appreciation to his thoughtfulness. Can you INFJ's shed some light on this for me? Do you identify with the ISTJ profile? Are INFJ men afraid of appearing INFJ to the public? Do many INFJ's appear ISTJ on the surface?
I'm not understanding what you mean by "appearing INFJ in public"? When I'm in public, I can be stilted, frozen cold, but also humorous/ironic. I smile or elicit emotional positivity a lot when I'm in the mood (which is 9 times out of 10). INFJs have a public and private persona.
When I look at the differences between myself and my ISTJ roommate, I can see a lot of similarities of habit. But you need not compare us for very long before you notice that I do not dress the same all the time, as my roommate does. I am not always neat or tidy. I do not always appear organized. I dress "down", whereas he dresses as if he's always "on-duty" (to borrow typological terminology) with a practical and dark colors. There is a formality about his dress code. There is an informality about mine. I smile. He doesn't, unless someone is obviously eliciting emotional response from him. I am warm. He is cold. Big difference.

So I don't see why I would fear "appearing INFJ in public", because I already have a public persona -- a friendly, calm, deliberate, conscientious mode of behavior. The only times when I sometimes appear ISTJ is when I'm busy or need to withdraw and want to get some routine things done or when I'm in an institutional setting.
 
I doubt that I have been mistaken for an INFJ. I could be mistaken for either INTP or ENFP.

What you said about being an "idealist girl", I definitely have a sensitive and tender part, and I have this thing for idealism and hope. Somehow this works with my skeptical and questioning nature. I almost always believe people are acting in good faith. I have also have had to deal with rejection recently; although my problem was really more "confidence being effected too much by outside sources".
 
My boyfriend has tested INTJ with only a 1% T preference and ISTJ. I consider him an INFJ despite him never testing as one. When I first met him I internally typed him as an INFJ. I "saw" his introverted intuition and idealism from a mile away. HOWEVER, he acts very much like an ISTJ in situations that I am not involved in e.g. work & financial matters. He is in the military so that explains why he would appear ISTj-ish. I too am in the military and see from a mile away how the "system" wants me to "drink the kool-aid" and become a good little ESTJ or ISTJ. He disagrees with my kool-aid ramblings when it comes to military life. Is that idealism or just a "duty fulfiller" carrying on his duties? When I read the ISTJ profile I can see the similarities between his personality and overall generic description of an ISTJ. However, when I read a more in depth description of an INFJ--THAT's HIM too! He can be such an idealist "girl"--well he is all the time. I am attracted to that and he has softened my cynical and jaded perspective on people and life- I suppose. He is learning to not become so sensitive to perceived rejection from me or lack of appreciation to his thoughtfulness. Can you INFJ's shed some light on this for me? Do you identify with the ISTJ profile? Are INFJ men afraid of appearing INFJ to the public? Do many INFJ's appear ISTJ on the surface?


He tests like a INTJ, also tests and acts like a ISTJ, but you have decided that he is an INFJ. So what was the point of the tests?