Didnt your parents learn ya right? | INFJ Forum

Didnt your parents learn ya right?

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What did your parents teach you?

ill just answer right off the bat and say that mine didnt teach me anything except to not get caught.

after some thought on the matter I will add that my mom taught me to read and my dad taught me how to mow the lawn.
 
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My parents didn't teach me much either,except to be quiet when they talk to someone and not to touch hot stove.
 
[MENTION=731]the[/MENTION]
I indirectly learned a lot of shitty things from my parents...maybe a few things were helpful. But if we are talking about things that they went out of their way to teach me then I would have to say I learned absolutely nothing from my father and I learned manners from my mother. It was a really big deal with her that I talked and acted like a lady. It really has helped me a lot in life. I get a lot of compliments on how well-mannered and considerate I am.

So I will give her an "A" in that department. Other than that, total fail.

Any good qualities that I have, I give myself complete credit for.
 
Father taught me to save for the future and to plan for contingencies. Also taught me to value education for its own sake and not just to progress in a career.
My mother taught me not to trust people, that the world can be cruel and that I have to choose who I let into my life carefully. A lot of that was paranoia on her part, but nonetheless I've been grateful for her advice on a number of occasions. She also taught me how to cook :)

Some of the less pleasant things I've learned from my father - how to be a controlling, judgmental idiot
Mother- how to totally ruin a relationship with self doubt, and how to break machinery
 
Everything!!

But mainly:

Mom raised us to care about other people and to have manners. She raised both my brother and I to, "Be gentleman," lol.
She took us to children's hospitals to hand out toys on Christmas even though we were poor. She emphasized being happy with what you have and giving what you can. I think I learned how to make the most of what I have and how to be resourceful from her.
Dad really emphasized critical thinking and to, "Always be prepared and have a plan."

I don't focus on any negatives I may have learned because those are things I have to work at to overcome--I would rather choose to appreciate the positive and build on that.
 
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"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself."


I learned a lot from my parents, they're strong people that raised me well. I'm sure they screwed me up in some ways too though.

*shrugs*
 
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I am pretty sure my parents basically taught me the same thing as you [MENTION=731]the[/MENTION].
 
Not much positive. My mother did teach me manners though. I am probably overly polite in a lot of situations.
 
My parents gave me a love of reading and learning. My parents remained active in my education throughout even my high school years. My father showed his love for us by being there, responsibility by caring about his job (bit of a workaholic!), and mad driving skills. My mother showed me passion and taught me family comes first. We spent a lot of time as a family traveling, laughing and being together. I adore my parents, not because I childishly demand they be perfect, but because they love me and constantly let me know that they do.
 
They taught me nothing.

My dad tried to as much as he could but we weren't connected enough for me to understand or actually learn. He was in the Navy and spent a lot of time out in the middle of the ocean, or in the Philippines, Japan, or Guam.

My mother was not fit to be a parent. She really wasn't a parent. I had a love/hate relationship with her, some times despising her - I'm still some times bitter about her even after she's died. But in actuality she was just a sad and tragic person who suffered a lot through life. I didn't see this until after I gave up hating and feeling victimized by her.
 
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My father taught me the joy of practical jokes and to use creative thinking, while my mother taught me how to be a good host and make people feel welcome, to celebrate every day as a gift, as well as how to clean and cook.
Although I believe I've learned the most from them by analyzing their negative traits... By this "they" have taught me to not trust anything that doesn't reason with my own values, and to view things critically, which makes me feel mentally strong and independent.
There are so many things I wish they had taught me though and I wonder who I would've been if things would've been different :/ I am content though. Without all my emotional scars I don't think I would've spent as much time on self-reflection.
 
my parents taught me to believe that i was stupid and useless and ugly and worthless and a bad person.
then they threw me out.
 
Pop:
-Work ethic.
-DIY approach to life.
-Compassion.
-Humility.
-Acceptance of people different from us.
-Self-respect (directly and indirectly).

Mom:
-Patience with overbearing people.
-Stoicism.
-How to learn.
 
hmmm it seems like INFJs mostly got screwed over by those who raised them haha. same here. learnt a lot. some through not so fun ways.
 
Grey Wolf said:
hmmm it seems like INFJs mostly got screwed over by those who raised them haha. same here. learnt a lot. some through not so fun ways.
Click to expand...

Yeah seems like a pattern...

I think it might have something to do with us being smarter than our parents, and curious and wanting answers and them feeling threatened by our intelligence, therefore trying to 'sweep the problems under the carpet', and eventually trying to break us. Anyone had this?

Or rather just trying to impose their lameness on us.
 
Manners.
Being respectful of others. (Treat others the way you would want them to treat you.)
Humility.
Be forgiving of myself, and others.
Have a positive outlook.
Critical thinking.
Having a good sense of humor.

My parents did right by me in most every way.
Sure, we fought. Especially during my teenage years. I look back and do regret how I treated them at times. I am sure I put them through hell.
As I have made my way through adulthood though, and have heard the types of childhood other had, I realize I have no right to complain. I had great parents.
They were both in their 40's when I came along, and think that was to my benefit. They were more settled and established. It was a stable home.
Nope. No real complaints.
 
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When a parent or parents are gone, you might see them in a different light ... especially after you have had children of your own. I don't hold any negativity against either of my parents, for I had a wonderful childhood ... both being very involved in it. Sometimes they were overly bearing, but that is a parent doing what they do best ... providing security for their child. I can sit here and reflect on all the issues I had with my mother, nonetheless I wish she was here with me now physically. She isn't and a day doesn't go by when I don't think about her ... wishing she was here to hug her grandchildren. Do I make her proud?

My parents gave me a foundation: work ethic and responsibility for oneself. Everything else is small potatoes.
 
ThisIsWhoIAm said:
Yeah seems like a pattern...

I think it might have something to do with us being smarter than our parents, and curious and wanting answers and them feeling threatened by our intelligence, therefore trying to 'sweep the problems under the carpet', and eventually trying to break us. Anyone had this?

Or rather just trying to impose their lameness on us.
Click to expand...
Sure. Keep telling yourself that. Maybe the pattern is a victim mentality?
 
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