Decision-making

[Soulful]

I'm sitting here, finding myself at a point of junction with two possible decisions -- and I feel stuck because the situation (either choice) is not evidently predictable. Both entail relatively significant risk, both have serious stakes.

This isn't meant as asking for advice, but I am simply wondering how y'all make decisions in these kinds of situations where either choice is a risk followed by a series of possible but equally unknown outcomes. Is it possible to take a calculated shot in the dark - is there a system (approach) of wisdom to these things? Do you shoot and figure out things as you go along, relying on your own abilities, effort, resources, and perhaps chance? Fwiw, I understand life is often uncontrollable and unpredictable, and developing the ability to roll with the punches is vital... I just want to be sure I'm taking as much into consideration as I can.

Thoughts?

 

[Relm]

I like to think that I go with the choice that is scariest but has more growth potential...or at least that I try to. It also helps me to ponder which choice I'd regret not taking more. Or to "feel" which choice is more "shackles on," to borrow a phrase from author Martha Beck, vs. which feels more freeing. Good luck in your choice-making!

 

[Ryo]

Yeah I'm facing one of those right now myself. If possible, I try to limit the risk, just in case something changes or the unexpected happens. But it's definitely possible to get stuck in the decision (especially if it's high risk). Sometimes you just have to act and deal with the consequences. Overthinking tends to make me lean toward the safest option even if it's not the best. Either way it's a learning opportunity right?

 

[grt$5vb]

"scariest, but most growth potential." YEP.

 

[tomchitecture]

I would have not jumped to "most growth potential" but I gravitated to it in the other posts. I guess I pride myself in deciding based on reward and not based on risk.

 

[GracieRuth]

Before making big decisions, I spend time asking a lot of questions. I might make lists of the pros and cons, for example. I have some general rules that I employ.

• Don't gamble more than you can afford to lose. Now the word afford is pretty subjective. If a person is willing to die in order have a life filled with risky adventures, then fine. But if staying alive is your priority, then you need to play it safe.
• Live today as if you will die tomorrow. Often realizing one's own mortality brings a clarity that is invaluable.
• Ask yourself what you REALLY want. Have a clear vision and concrete objectives. Choose your actions based on what will achieve your objectives.
• Consider the moral implications. What impact will this have on others now and in the future?
• Look far into the future for unexpected consequences. Often the bottom line looks good tomorrow, but 10 years down the road it comes back to hit you in the face.
• Pause to do a reality check. It's always possible that a course of action doesn't achieve what you wanted, and you have to be psychologically prepared to ditch it for an alternative. Attach yourself to the objective, not to your plan how to best get there.

 

[Kgal]

1. Least harm analysis first with focus on self - then others.

(Note: least harm does not mean least pain necessarily...i know you know that....just a reminder)

2. Then: Most opportunity for growth which usually ends up being most potential for joy in the long run.

Growth encounters Pain results in Joy.

Good luck in your decision.

PS. Did you see [MENTION=4015]purplecrayons[/MENTION] quote from Alice In Wonderland today?

 

[willow]

Well I've only recently returned to my religion so my entire decision-making process is going through a rehaul but this is basically what it looks like:

1. What does God say is good? (Consulting the Bible and prayer)
2. What is good for me?
3. What is good for others?

If God is silent on the topic then I make my decision based on what is a win for both me and others in general. If I can't find a solution that's good all around then I choose so as to create no harm or minimal harm. Some decisions require waiting for conditions to change.

 

[Radiantshadow]

I ask myself which choice I will hate myself later for not taking (projection, I admit), what I will potentially learn/gain from either choice, and how each choice will impact me as a person and as a constituent to society.

These are the times that shine, or shroud, in our memories.
Best of luck & may your god(s) walk with you.

 

[David54]

well here I go again . .I do what my heart wants. . ok, it doesnt always work out. . . .but I take that leap of faith . .because it feels right. . .becuase at teh end of the day I trust my heart more than my head. . when my head has made decisons in the past ithas really lead me astray. .but not my heart. . what has hppened is that other people or things got in teh way, changed their minds. . but my heart was right. . they changed. . .obviously, I am talking about relationships here. . .

 

[barbad0s]

I'm sitting here, finding myself at a point of junction with two possible decisions -- and I feel stuck because the situation (either choice) is not evidently predictable. Both entail relatively significant risk, both have serious stakes.

This isn't meant as asking for advice, but I am simply wondering how y'all make decisions in these kinds of situations where either choice is a risk followed by a series of possible but equally unknown outcomes. Is it possible to take a calculated shot in the dark - is there a system (approach) of wisdom to these things? Do you shoot and figure out things as you go along, relying on your own abilities, effort, resources, and perhaps chance? Fwiw, I understand life is often uncontrollable and unpredictable, and developing the ability to roll with the punches is vital... I just want to be sure I'm taking as much into consideration as I can.

Thoughts?

Well if two choices are equally risky with equally unpredictable outcomes, then it doesn't matter which one you choose! The actual making of the decision should not require so much anxiety in this case. Decision making only gets tricky when the pros and cons you have to weigh have a lot of ambivalence between choices.

The time you should start worrying in this case is AFTER you make the decision. Just pay lots of attention to the situation and keep your awareness and senses open, and believe in yourself. The most essential part of this is beileving in yourself, imo, and it's what can be the most volatile for me.

 

[Soulful]

I like to think that I go with the choice that is scariest but has more growth potential...or at least that I try to. It also helps me to ponder which choice I'd regret not taking more. Or to "feel" which choice is more "shackles on," to borrow a phrase from author Martha Beck, vs. which feels more freeing. Good luck in your choice-making!

Brave, you. Valuable insight, though. I try to approach it from the angle of regret too. The only thing is that I don't always know what I'd regret more -- but sometimes, such is life.

Yeah I'm facing one of those right now myself. If possible, I try to limit the risk, just in case something changes or the unexpected happens. But it's definitely possible to get stuck in the decision (especially if it's high risk). Sometimes you just have to act and deal with the consequences. Overthinking tends to make me lean toward the safest option even if it's not the best. Either way it's a learning opportunity right?

Nod. absolutely.

I ask myself which choice I will hate myself later for not taking (projection, I admit), what I will potentially learn/gain from either choice, and how each choice will impact me as a person and as a constituent to society.

These are the times that shine, or shroud, in our memories.
Best of luck & may your god(s) walk with you.

Thanks RS. I appreciate the best wishes.

Well if two choices are equally risky with equally unpredictable outcomes, then it doesn't matter which one you choose! The actual making of the decision should not require so much anxiety in this case. Decision making only gets tricky when the pros and cons you have to weigh have a lot of ambivalence between choices.

The time you should start worrying in this case is AFTER you make the decision. Just pay lots of attention to the situation and keep your awareness and senses open, and believe in yourself. The most essential part of this is beileving in yourself, imo, and it's what can be the most volatile for me.

Sound advice, niffer. I appreciate the "after" suggestions and the call to confidence. Thank you.

Thank you for your input, everyone. It is most appreciated. I ended up making a decision. I did my best to take everything into consideration, including any nudgings from my heart/intuition, and in the end went with one option. I'm hopeful it will be a good one. I think a large part of that still resides with me, which is both comforting and concerning but ultimately empowering. I'll try to let you know how it turns out.