- Aug 21, 2015
- 9,396
- 88,866
- 2,590
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 5w4
Dear Everyone Dating an INFJ, I promise it is worth it.
At first you cannot believe how well you get along, how well they understand you, how attentively they listen, and how much they care. They seem to understand how you feel better than you do!
Then you notice they don't readily share their own stories or feelings, and that makes you paranoid.
And they are very slow to open up... so you think that, even after weeks of dancing around the idea that you could be a couple, you don't have "a connection", or that they are "not interested".
And, to be honest, you don't understand them at all. You think you figured them out, but then realize you didn't.
And then they begin to open up, but you say one tiny thing that makes them second guess you... and you don't even know what that tiny thing was. (For example, during a romantic moment they said something meaningful and deep that took courage to say, and you replied, "I need a sandwich." signaling you don't feel the same way. You don't even remember that, but they do.)
If you are looking for a deep relationship with a loyal person who truly cares about how you feel and your needs, hang in there. It is worth it. INFJs just need time to 'unfold'. All that 'magical unicorn of the MBTI' stuff may be a huge exaggeration, but we are a bit like woodland creatures who must learn to trust you before we allow ourselves to become vulnerable.
I'm so sick of you motherfuckers ditching my INFJ friends because you want instant satisfaction in a relationship. You want to rip open the Kool-Aid packet, pour it into water and stir to get an instant "meaningful, long-term relationship", but to get the kind of juice you crave you need to let the fruit blossom and grow on the tree.
At first you cannot believe how well you get along, how well they understand you, how attentively they listen, and how much they care. They seem to understand how you feel better than you do!
Then you notice they don't readily share their own stories or feelings, and that makes you paranoid.
And they are very slow to open up... so you think that, even after weeks of dancing around the idea that you could be a couple, you don't have "a connection", or that they are "not interested".
And, to be honest, you don't understand them at all. You think you figured them out, but then realize you didn't.
And then they begin to open up, but you say one tiny thing that makes them second guess you... and you don't even know what that tiny thing was. (For example, during a romantic moment they said something meaningful and deep that took courage to say, and you replied, "I need a sandwich." signaling you don't feel the same way. You don't even remember that, but they do.)
If you are looking for a deep relationship with a loyal person who truly cares about how you feel and your needs, hang in there. It is worth it. INFJs just need time to 'unfold'. All that 'magical unicorn of the MBTI' stuff may be a huge exaggeration, but we are a bit like woodland creatures who must learn to trust you before we allow ourselves to become vulnerable.
I'm so sick of you motherfuckers ditching my INFJ friends because you want instant satisfaction in a relationship. You want to rip open the Kool-Aid packet, pour it into water and stir to get an instant "meaningful, long-term relationship", but to get the kind of juice you crave you need to let the fruit blossom and grow on the tree.
