Dealing with privilege

[Soulful]

Do you feel guilty for your privilege (whatever it happens to be) and/or for having more than others?

If so, how do you deal with it? I find I feel extremely guilty for some of my privileges and it's gotten to the point where I'm disinclined to move towards some things I desire because it will mean having opportunities and being fortunate in ways others aren't. I can see myself moving "down the ladder" in my life, so to speak, to equalize with some others in my environment who are in situations I don't want to be in and because - regardless of how unproductive, unhelpful, and illogical it is - I have difficulty with the idea of riding along while others are struggling. It doesn't help that I have a tendency to try to balance myself out with my environment, whatever it happens to be.

I know that logically this doesn't make sense and to put it out there, I'm not asking for a logical solution. However, if you can relate (or have ideas), how do you cope with it? And more importantly, how do you move past it?

Other thoughts?

 

[KazeCraven]

Well, this is something that I struggled with much more before than I do now. When I realized just how well off I was, I felt blessed, but when I realized how terribly undeserved it was, that's when I put myself into community service and tried to be as little of a burden as possible, seeing as how I should be content because my needs were so well met.

But the truth is, you have to look to see if you really do feel like your needs have been met. If you value feelings (which I can understand if you don't really), then you may realize that despite whatever you are given, you are really no happier than most. Does that count as a logical solution? Sorry if it does.

I don't think I really got past it though. I just coped by subverting it and telling myself that it's okay to be selfish. I'm still not sure whether I'm lying to myself about that or whether I truly have lost that feeling of guilt.

 

[Forest Dweller]

Would you cut another person down to equalize them? I didn't think so. Talk of self-love is often a bunch of psychobabble, but I think this the point where it does become an actual duty on your part. I think you should use your advantages as a wellspring for compassion and productivity both in the areas of your gifts and as a general foundation to a well-lived life. In short, use them as a rising tide that lifts boats, including your own.

 

[Korg]

Everyone is privileged in some way which, paradoxically, introduces a kind of intrinsic equality to the concept of privilege. With that in mind, I do not apologize for the ways I am at an advantage over others nor do I feel it is my obligation to help them (I will help for reasons relating to humanist ethics but not as some imperative born from guilt). And I'm certainly not going to water myself down because someone who sucks relative to me doesn't like it. If they want to improve their station in life, they have the means. Everyone does - despite rhetoric to the contrary.

 

[TinyBubbles]

Everyone is privileged in some way which, paradoxically, introduces a kind of intrinsic equality to the concept of privilege. With that in mind, I do not apologize for the ways I am at an advantage over others nor do I feel it is my obligation to help them (I will help for reasons relating to humanist ethics but not as some imperative born from guilt). And I'm certainly not going to water myself down because someone who sucks relative to me doesn't like it. If they want to improve their station in life, they have the means. Everyone does - despite rhetoric to the contrary.

Could you elaborate on what you mean by "intrinsic equality"?

 

[Korg]

Could you elaborate on what you mean by "intrinsic equality"?

In other words: we are all equal in the sense that we have individual abilities which, if utilized to their fullest capacity, allow us to forge lives of privilege. For one man it may be his ability in athleticism, for another it may be his intellect. While they are completely different abilities, both men are equal in the sense that were given the ability at all. Thus, there is an intrinsic (defined as 'belonging to a thing by its very nature') equality to any station of privilege.

Again, the trick is to work with what you do have, not decry others for having what you don't (AKA envy).

 

[corvidae]

Like any self-loathing hipster, my solution is to use sarcasm and irony to emotionally shield myself from completely acknowledging my middle-class suburban, educated, liberal background.

 

[Matariki]

Like tronpaul you can also find me at the self-loathing club.

Privileges? I rejoice when I receive them, but I feel really guilty when I have to ask for them, and I most certainly don't feel as If I deserve them.
I hate using people, in my mind I feel as if I am when I gain a privilege. Its a really negative way of thinking and somewhat immature.

Bah. I'll get there someday.

 

[invisible]

it's not true. for some people escape from their crappy circumstances is practically impossible, it would require a superhuman ability or effort. for example some people are starving and diseased and have no access to education and no way to get money. they are not privileged, they are screwed.

Soulful taking opportunities will allow you to learn and grow to the point where you can give back and contribute in meaningful ways to equality. wasting these opportunities will not provide you with the same resources to do such a mission, if that's what you decide is important to you.

 

[NeverAmI]

I think this is all symptomatic of a bigger problem at hand. Do you have an inferiority complex that may be limiting you?

You owe it to yourself to achieve what you would like, and you owe it to others to be an inspiration.

If this is about doing something that you don't want to do, then take measure to ensure you can't be doing something that would be more fulfilling.

To sum it up, you are still you no matter which path you take. Sometimes the 'wrong' path encourages growth more than the 'right' one, so take solace that no matter what you do, there are always opportunities to grow, to learn, and to live.

 

[Bird]

In other words: we are all equal in the sense that we have individual abilities which, if utilized to their fullest capacity, allow us to forge lives of privilege. For one man it may be his ability in athleticism, for another it may be his intellect. While they are completely different abilities, both men are equal in the sense that were given the ability at all. Thus, there is an intrinsic (defined as 'belonging to a thing by its very nature') equality to any station of privilege.

Again, the trick is to work with what you do have, not decry others for having what you don't (AKA envy).

+1

 

[Faye]

I don't feel bad for what I have; I feel bad for what others don't. However, that doesn't mean that I will give what I have for others, simply because it would disadvantage me greatly and also because I can only help in a very limited capacity in that way.

 

[Tamagochi]

I agree with this quote

Entitlement says: I deserve what *I* have. Resentment says: I deserve what *others* have. Both are worried about what they think they each deserve. Only gratitude heals both. Gratitude never feels entitled or resentful.

Therefore I think it's a waste of time and energy to worry about privileges - whether I deserve them or not. Better use them to actually help people who need that help.