Dating and INFPs

[Gaze]

So, INFPs, what do you look for or need in a partner?

For those who've dated INFPs, what was your experience like? What did they seem to need or want compared to other types you've dated?

What were the positives or negatives in the relationship which you think are directly linked to the INFPs traits or type?

 

[bickelz]

I wanna INFP that I can cuddle with at night.

 

[j e s s i e]

I don't have any set traits I look for in a partner, other than perhaps sensitive and open-minded. I don't really "date" -- more like I follow and feel, and see where I get swept up first. All of the people I've come to love were close friends that I developed feelings for, as I cannot be romantically inclined towards someone without developing an initial bond.

I need a lot of reassurance in a relationship about how my partner feels towards me, though I'm not sure if that's just me or it's an INFP trait. I need to know that I'm cared about, and that my sometimes overwhelming amount of feelings are returned, or else I get self-critical and run to avoid rejection.

But the strong emotions and depth of feeling of INFPs give us a great capacity for caring and compassion. So you know you want this.

 

[jyrffw54]

I don't have any set traits I look for in a partner, other than perhaps sensitive and open-minded. I don't really "date" -- more like I follow and feel, and see where I get swept up first. All of the people I've come to love were close friends that I developed feelings for, as I cannot be romantically inclined towards someone without developing an initial bond.

I need a lot of reassurance in a relationship about how my partner feels towards me, though I'm not sure if that's just me or it's an INFP trait. I need to know that I'm cared about, and that my sometimes overwhelming amount of feelings are returned, or else I get self-critical and run to avoid rejection.
But the strong emotions and depth of feeling of INFPs give us a great capacity for caring and compassion. So you know you want this.

THIS!^

 

[Phoenix Down]

I don't have any set traits I look for in a partner, other than perhaps sensitive and open-minded. I don't really "date" -- more like I follow and feel, and see where I get swept up first. All of the people I've come to love were close friends that I developed feelings for, as I cannot be romantically inclined towards someone without developing an initial bond.

I need a lot of reassurance in a relationship about how my partner feels towards me, though I'm not sure if that's just me or it's an INFP trait. I need to know that I'm cared about, and that my sometimes overwhelming amount of feelings are returned, or else I get self-critical and run to avoid rejection.

But the strong emotions and depth of feeling of INFPs give us a great capacity for caring and compassion. So you know you want this.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxbFLYa0_bw"]YouTube - Queen- Somebody to Love[/ame]

 

[Korg]

A few of my female friends are INFP's. I don't think I could date them because they're too sweet and always reassuring me about shit and trying to be the perfect, supportive girlfriend. They're too delicate.

 

[Bird]

A few of my female friends are INFP's. I don't think I could date them because they're too sweet and always reassuring me about shit and trying to be the perfect, supportive girlfriend. They're too delicate.

You know what this means?? I am not an INFP or
Korg doesn't want to have relations with me.


Take your pick

 

[bickelz]

A few of my female friends are INFP's. I don't think I could date them because they're too sweet and always reassuring me about shit and trying to be the perfect, supportive girlfriend. They're too delicate.

Don't pay attention to Korg. He thinks he needs a girl that has a vagina made of steel just so that she can handle him.

 

[Gaze]

A few of my female friends are INFP's. I don't think I could date them because they're too sweet and always reassuring me about shit and trying to be the perfect, supportive girlfriend. They're too delicate.

INFP females are not as delicate as you think they are. They often adapt to the personalities they're interacting with. They will hide the other parts of themselves if they feel they can't be themselves with the person, or if the person doesn't get or appreciate it. It's not delicate, it's really more about "i'll give you what you need, since you can't give me what i need." They only reveal the parts of themselves people can handle. Not sure if other INFPs can relate to this, but with the right person, i am not likely to be delicate but until then, i probably reflect an image which matches with who others think i am. INFPs are not as obvious as they seem.

 

[Korg]

You know what this means?? I am not an INFP or
Korg doesn't want to have relations with me.


Take your pick

Why can't it be both?

Don't pay attention to Korg. He thinks he needs a girl that has a vagina made of steel just so that she can handle him.

Steel vag is boring to me these days. Now that I am older and wiser, I much prefer a vagina made from a honeycombed lattice of carbon nanotubes and a clitoris shaped like giant truncated icosahedron.

INFP females are not as delicate as you think they are. They often adapt to the personalities they're interacting with. They will hide the other parts of themselves if they feel they can't be themselves with the person, or if the person doesn't get or appreciate it. It's not delicate, it's really more about "i'll give you what you need, since you can't give me what i need." They only reveal the parts of themselves people can handle. Not sure if other INFPs can relate to this, but with the right person, i am not likely to be delicate but until then, i probably reflect an image which matches with who others think i am. INFPs are not as obvious as they seem.

I have no doubts there are entire dimensions to the typical INFP personality that remain veiled until they feel comfortable letting them out. But that doesn't have anything to do with delicate - at least not as I'm using the term. When I say "delicate", I mean they seem to always want to remain in a state of harmonious joy with their environment even when the situation calls for it to be otherwise. If this is disrupted, they start crying and falling apart which means I have to walk on eggshells around them constantly.

This is fine for a friendship. But a relationship? No.

 

[Gaze]

I have no doubts there are entire dimensions to the typical INFP personality that remain veiled until they feel comfortable letting them out. But that doesn't have anything to do with delicate - at least not as I'm using the term. When I say "delicate", I mean they seem to always want to remain in a state of harmonious joy with their environment even when the situation calls for it to be otherwise. If this is disrupted, they start crying and falling apart which means I have to walk on eggshells around them constantly.

This is fine for a friendship. But a relationship? No.

As they say, different strokes for different folks.

 

[Gaze]

I think the INFP sensitivity can be slightly challenging, but once you get past that, you will have a friend for life, and someone who can be very understanding, and insightful in giving you what you need.

 

[yepunsarang]

INFPs can be such loving, and warm warm people. You go to them when you want to bathed in an aura of complete acceptance and healing. I have several friends who are INFPs and they are wonderful. But having gotten very close to some of them, I've started to realize where the tension might arise... INFPs I've noticed are driven more by their emotions than INFJs. INFJs can be most of the time more empathetic than just pure emotion. I have the ability to step outside of my emotions and think of scenarios in objective terms. But I feel for INFPs, they relate through the self and their own emotions. So they can be extremely sensitive, even if you know them in and out. Sometimes you need to tiptoe and know exactly what WORDS not to say, because they act up like mines. If you're the type that is confrontational, likes to make fun, and is overly sarcastic, it might really jab the INFP in the heart.

I'm a very feeling person, but there is also a rational part of me (which I think INFJs tend to have because of their Js) and when INFPs get overly emotional (and IRRATIONAL because of it, I might lose my patience). I'm just pointing out a minute detail i've noticed. I'm sure if two very emotional and loving people come together, this shouldn't be such an issue. But in the nitty gritty, if you ask me what could be a potential "issue" as there will be in all type relationships, this would be it.

 

[Gaze]

INFPs can be such loving, and warm warm people. You go to them when you want to bathed in an aura of complete acceptance and healing. I have several friends who are INFPs and they are wonderful. But having gotten very close to some of them, I've started to realize where the tension might arise... INFPs I've noticed are driven more by their emotions than INFJs. INFJs can be most of the time more empathetic than just pure emotion. I have the ability to step outside of my emotions and think of scenarios in objective terms. But I feel for INFPs, they relate through the self and their own emotions. So they can be extremely sensitive, even if you know them in and out. Sometimes you need to tiptoe and know exactly what WORDS not to say, because they act up like mines. If you're the type that is confrontational, likes to make fun, and is overly sarcastic, it might really jab the INFP in the heart.

I'm a very feeling person, but there is also a rational part of me (which I think INFJs tend to have because of their Js) and when INFPs get overly emotional (and IRRATIONAL because of it, I might lose my patience). I'm just pointing out a minute detail i've noticed. I'm sure if two very emotional and loving people come together, this shouldn't be such an issue. But in the nitty gritty, if you ask me what could be a potential "issue" as there will be in all type relationships, this would be it.

Have to admit this is true. [MENTION=1425]Korg[/MENTION] mentioned it when he said, we're delicate, although i can't speak for any other INFPs. I have to say, this description, reluctantly I admit, fits pretty well.

 

[yepunsarang]

Have to admit this is true. [MENTION=1425]Korg[/MENTION] mentioned it when he said, we're delicate, although i can't speak for any other INFPs. I have to say, this description, reluctantly I admit, fits pretty well.

My ultimate INFP buddy would be proud of me. I know her thick and thin, I spook her out with my insight hee hee....we have these convos very often about how INFPs and INFJs think differently. It's pretty amazing how similar yet how different we are! I think it all comes to you INFP folks wanting wholeness, complete harmony, not feeling comfortable with halfway points (as mentioned by some others before).