Connect with my Dad

[Daustus]

Being an INFJ, I've never been into what I would call traditional male stuff and I realize that created a barrier for my relationship with my father. I have trouble typing him but He's probably an ESFJ and into topics I have trouble being interested in. I realized now at 35, that I stopped trying in the relationship around age 17 because I felt he stopped trying to connect and understand me. After having children I have realized that I would like him to be more involved in my kids lives. I would like to include him more and looking for suggestions. Should also mention that I'm from rural midwestMwhere people don't talk openly about their feelings.

 

[Sloe Djinn]

Conveying the challenges of child-rearing and prompting him for anecdotes (i.e. “Did I ever...when I was young” or “How did you handle it when I [Did something that one of my children is doing now]?” is a possible way to open dialogue. Think of challenges that you are overcoming and may not have appreciated from their perspective now that you’re a parent. Express appreciation or understanding about those challenges.

 

[Daustus]

That's good advice. I'll do that. I was also going to try to create some ritual things my dad could do. Like take my son's to baseball games, camping, etc. Stuff he likes to do but hasn't done in years.

 

[Asa]

Just invite him to events with the kids, like baseball games, camping, etc. as you said above, or even BBQs or dinner. You don't have to talk about feelings and past experiences for him to bond with your children.