Conforism? | INFJ Forum

Conforism?

Jana

Jana

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Apr 18, 2009
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Is it bad or good? Maybe it depends on quantity of it (good in small doses, bad in large)?
Is it Fe related (yes?)?
And why was I in horror when friend told me that I am conformist?
I mean, I am, I play by the rulls, but I really have need to make my own answers...
 
uuh.... Conformism?
Is it bad or good? Maybe it depends on quantity of it (good in small doses, bad in large)?
Is it Fe related (yes?)?
And why was I in horror when friend told me that I am conformist?
I mean, I am, I play by the rulls, but I really have need to make my own answers...
Click to expand...
a) it depends on which society you're in and their rules, spoken or not. It also depends on your self-sufficiency in many levels, how amicable and/or sociable you are, and other social worths, amongst other things.

Most reason for social conformity are for safety; people you don't know, you don't trust. Simple as that.

Soo... for example / half theorizing here:

About location; in Japan, which actually has a slogan of "The nail that sticks out gets hammered"; those that are different in lots of ways are 'straightened', their rules are definitely more pushing for conformity compared to, say, United States.

Now if I'm self sufficient and capable on living by yourself, or at worst living well even when being ostracized, the worth of conformity decreases because I know I can still live -- companionship of people who accept me as it is will come, sooner or later. It will of course be easier being introvert that requires/craves less social contact than extroverts.

The same about being amicable and sociable (note that this is different from being 'nice', or being 'kind' even) ; if I still able to show that LOOK I DON'T BITE, I'M NOT THAT DIFFERENT; more chance of people not raising their defenses. Hence you can get away with more nonconfomity.

Now if I've got other social advantages (rich, hot as hell, famous), the chance of it will be seen as a harmless quirk will also increase. and thus, decreasing the worth of conformity.
So again, it depends. I would say it's 30% useful in Western societies, and 50-60% useful in Eastern.

b)Yes. Fe is related, but more in the proactive sense. They reach out to others and somewhat enforces their rules, conscious or not. But not all will conform out of Fe; Te could possibly surmise that conformity is the 'safest' way to achieve their goals and thus a necessary evil. Si would conform because that -works- best. And other thing. :p

c) Because...conformism to a degree is being portrayed as a bad thing; I noticed has a connotation of being gullible, lacking free will, Hoi polloi, stupid, amongst other things...?
 
I don't know~ it's not that I try to... "not" conform... It just happens that everybody thinks I'm a highly "unique" individual. They probably mean that in a negative way. But regardless! I don't knooow I don't think conformism is something you "choose" for at least. It depends on the values you have~ and that somehow synchronises with conformism. Like the above poster mentioned :D Si, Fi, Te, etc. Some people just happen to have those values and others don't as much?

I can see myself with Te~ :p Using the rules/norms in ways they weren't quite intended in order to achieve what I want.

But you don't really "choose" to be conform or not.... And yeaa there are a lot of people that think it's negative... but you know... It's hard to say whether or not it's good or bad... because I mean... If someone naturally has more "affinity" to conforming to others that... don't. It's not really fair is it? In the end it's not a choice. Since it's hard to say that people are "wrong" for the intrinsic values they have... I think I'll have to say that conformism isn't bad at all. It's just one way (out of many) to materialize one's goals and values.
 
Ultimately, it's about being happy, I think. Some people might find comfort in finding their own individual spirit and living by it; others might find the same in sharing their beliefs with the status quo. Both of them are inherent to the nature of the individual and thus, cannot be considered right or wrong. They are pathways for the same destination, i.e., happiness, comfort, inner peace, etc.

I'm somewhat conformist in that I consciously make an effort to act and speak like my friends. I derive satisfaction from that sense of belonging, I think. But my ideas or my judgment aren't clouded by of it. I'm a fairly independent person in that regard.

And why was I in horror when friend told me that I am conformist?
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Possibly because it carries negative connotations. I believe conformity is only undesirable when it is coupled with closed-mindedness.
 
conformity is only undesirable when it is coupled with closed-mindedness.
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And IMO Conformity is bad when it blocks what you actually want and think. (yes, conformity is often covered with playing nice)
 
Trifoilum said:
And IMO Conformity is bad when it blocks what you actually want and think. (yes, conformity is often covered with playing nice)
Click to expand...

I agree. It is hard to differente being nice because you don't want to heart someone or being nice because you don't want to play with majority...
 
That depends also on who is the friend that told you that.
Anyway, as long as you choose after thought your attitude, for reasons other than to go by the flow, you are nothing but yourself.
 
Generally, extroverts are conformists more than introverts.
 
There are good choices and bad choices.
Of which conformism may or may not be a motivating factor.
Neither is wrong. Neither is right.

Some feel safety in numbers.
You are less likely to be singled out as foolish.
If you make a mistake as a unit, that is, than as an individual.
It might lead to mass consolation.
And you can place the blame on others.
For non-conformists, all responsibility must be shouldered.

If you wish to minimize guilt, conformism is the right choice.
If you wish to minimize regret, non-conformism is. Live your life fully and abnormally.
Be noticed.

Or simply listen to your own mind.
But know that its strings are pulled by the outside world.
 
I am a conformist, and I do not see it as a bad thing.

I conform myself for the way I need to be in any given situation. I do not deviate from who I am inside, I just allow certain aspects of my personality to come out more, or come out less. I won't allow this compromise moral principals or ethics codes that I hold to though. Conformism can be a bad thing is if it causes you to lose sight of who you are, or if it causes contradictions in how you live your life. Really is a balance between doing what is best for others and the group, and maintaining an idea and feeling of self.
 
Willingness to live in society requires some conforming to expectations - this type of conform is called being sociable.

The desire to conform for the sake of conforming sounds like some sort of mental or emotional defect.
 
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