Competing for someone's attention
- Thread starter Gaze
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- Nov 12, 2008
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In most cases no. Any time that I do compete for attention is largely to prevent what I currently have from going away, not to increase it. The majority of the time when I do compete is when someone encroaches on a space where I am already established, and they are causing some kind of upset. Whether it be with me personally, with others, or just the dynamic in general.
So really I when I do compete for someones attention, it is largely to push the person I am competing with away, not for the sake of getting attention. Again I rarely do this, and only when there is a good reason to do so (that is not for personal gain).
So really I when I do compete for someones attention, it is largely to push the person I am competing with away, not for the sake of getting attention. Again I rarely do this, and only when there is a good reason to do so (that is not for personal gain).
Of course. It's not very hard:
LOOK AT ME EVERYONE
Kidding. If I realize I'm really competing for someone I'll just talk about it to the other person. Competing like that would only cause unnecessary drama and we would probably both fail at getting the person's attention.
LOOK AT ME EVERYONEKidding. If I realize I'm really competing for someone I'll just talk about it to the other person. Competing like that would only cause unnecessary drama and we would probably both fail at getting the person's attention.
Of course. It's not very hard:
Kidding. If I realize I'm really competing for someone I'll just talk about it to the other person. Competing like that would only cause unnecessary drama and we would probably both fail at getting the person's attention.
Getting someone's attention doesn't have to be over the top "look at me" attention. In many cases, it's very subtle.
*nods*
Yes, this is it for me too. If I'm seeking attention it just means that I'm looking outside for assurance to validate me in someway. That just drives me nuts. It doesn't mean that I haven't done this in some point of my life, but when it has happened, I've founded myself really miserable to have reached such level.
Just to clarify - my question is not about simply seeking attention in general, i'm asking more about seeking attention from someone specific - whether friend, SO, or someone you're interested in. So, this is not about getting attention or needing attention just for the sake of having attention. thx.
Yea, but that way is faster and flashier
But I was only kidding with that, the second part of the post was meant to answer the real question.
Yea, but that way is faster and flashier
But I was only kidding with that, the second part of the post was meant to answer the real question.
Ah, ok
Yes, I will. I tend to go with the flow because I more or less agree with the whole process. But I will not hesitate to jump in when I see a potential conflict.
On a less serious issue, I need to know about the goings-on of my friends as I like to be in the center of everything. I guess you could call that competing for attention
I don't feel much pressure to be someone else, even though I suspect it might heighten my chances to achieve something from someone. I try to find similar traits in myself and bring them out. I've learnt my lesson to not put on different personalities. One can't live a lie.
On a less serious issue, I need to know about the goings-on of my friends as I like to be in the center of everything. I guess you could call that competing for attention
I don't feel much pressure to be someone else, even though I suspect it might heighten my chances to achieve something from someone. I try to find similar traits in myself and bring them out. I've learnt my lesson to not put on different personalities. One can't live a lie.
Would you compete for someone's attention?
No. Never have.
Do you think it's necessary in some cases, but not in others? How do you distinguish the two?
The only situation that I see it possibly necessary is when it's about your career. Sometimes you have to compete for a position by showing off your skills and capabilities to your future/current employers.
Do you ever feel pressure to be or do or be something different to get someone's attention?
I don't feel pressured, but I do notice it when someone expects me to be someone else, or why is it that I don't have that someone's attention. When that happens, I usually lose interest and decide it's time to move on.
No. Never have.
Do you think it's necessary in some cases, but not in others? How do you distinguish the two?
The only situation that I see it possibly necessary is when it's about your career. Sometimes you have to compete for a position by showing off your skills and capabilities to your future/current employers.
Do you ever feel pressure to be or do or be something different to get someone's attention?
I don't feel pressured, but I do notice it when someone expects me to be someone else, or why is it that I don't have that someone's attention. When that happens, I usually lose interest and decide it's time to move on.
Would you compete for someone's attention?
Maybe subconsciously, but generally, I'm not that kind of person. Attention makes me unstable.
Do you think it's necessary in some cases, but not in others? How do you distinguish the two?
Never necessary to compete. If it's family, be assertive and serious. Feeling neglected is not a joke. Same with your friends, but if it's someone you like and another person likes the same person, it's pretty much a free-for-all.
Do you ever feel pressure to be or do or be something different to get someone's attention?
Sometimes. Then I assess my motivation to see if what I'm thinking of doing is inline with my morals.
Maybe subconsciously, but generally, I'm not that kind of person. Attention makes me unstable.
Do you think it's necessary in some cases, but not in others? How do you distinguish the two?
Never necessary to compete. If it's family, be assertive and serious. Feeling neglected is not a joke. Same with your friends, but if it's someone you like and another person likes the same person, it's pretty much a free-for-all.
Do you ever feel pressure to be or do or be something different to get someone's attention?
Sometimes. Then I assess my motivation to see if what I'm thinking of doing is inline with my morals.
I can definitely see myself competing for a girl's attention, or in business situations if I had to.
I would do it.
It is necessary in situations where you feel it is necessary and where you wont succeed without it. I guess I feel like it is generally necessary. After all, unless you're really special, then you're just part of the background to others. When it comes to being important, excelling in your business, getting the attention of your potential relationship partner, you absolutely have to stand out and get their attention.
Of course you have to be different to get someone's attention.
Fortunately, I seem to have a natural ability to be interesting. I guess it is the good part of being so terribly weird.
I would do it.
It is necessary in situations where you feel it is necessary and where you wont succeed without it. I guess I feel like it is generally necessary. After all, unless you're really special, then you're just part of the background to others. When it comes to being important, excelling in your business, getting the attention of your potential relationship partner, you absolutely have to stand out and get their attention.
Of course you have to be different to get someone's attention.
Fortunately, I seem to have a natural ability to be interesting. I guess it is the good part of being so terribly weird.
If it's work-related or some other then yes, I would.
But if it's for relations, such as romantic or some such, then no. Never.
If I can't get that someone's attention with who I am naturally, why would I bother trying to do something else to get that attention? I don't know, I just don't see the point. Would I have to do that everyday throughout the relationship's duration? That's simply absurd to me.
Lots of fish in the sea for that.
But if it's for relations, such as romantic or some such, then no. Never.
If I can't get that someone's attention with who I am naturally, why would I bother trying to do something else to get that attention? I don't know, I just don't see the point. Would I have to do that everyday throughout the relationship's duration? That's simply absurd to me.
Lots of fish in the sea for that.
yes, this.
i will compete with video games/gadgets though. i kinda have to because they are a main interest of that boy i married. i'm not saying he isn't allowed to have a hobby or do what he likes. i'm saying he tends to get wrapped up in those interests (will not eat properly, will completely neglect other responsibilities, won't want to leave the house with me) and i need attention too, ya know.
why?
i can see why a child who is near-neglected would compete for a parent's attention. when it's a question of survival, respect doesn't even enter the equation for me. it is distasteful if that was all you meant to say, but being that prejudiced can be a little dangerous.
in a love relationship or in a friendship i think trying to steal affection from someone is totally not cool.
how can pushing someone else away not be for personal gain?
the first part of your post reminded me of my bitch SIL. =)
she thought i was "stealing" her brother when he and i started dating. the fact is they had been growing apart for some time. they have different interests. he was looking for a romantic relationship, and he wanted someone to help him grow in different ways.
she would badmouth me any chance she got, and she made it impossible for me to hang out with her even when i tried to be friendly. of course i was going to take up a lot of her brother's time, but now he doesn't have much to do with her because of the way she acted back then.
she's also still a bitch. =p
I think on a certain level we do compete for attention from others. The typical Western view says that someone is a winner and someone is a loser when it comes to competition which is why most will proclaim they don't compete. We all ration our time based on some type of benefit analysis. I do not choose to squander my energy with people I don't like and neither do most others. You compete when you desire to make yourself appealing to others, when you make friends and do all that kind of stuff. On some level it is gratifying to know you are more entertaining than whats on TV...
Yes. I would like say that I am cool person that does not need it, but I do. Not always and not from anybody, but I 've been few times in life in situation that I just felt so needy for someone (friendly way, romanticly etc.) When I feel that need for someone, I just go for it. But, I don't show it, I don't know whether is that good or not. I usually boil it inside of me and just silently work for the goal of "The Person"'s attention. I guess I would be called possesive in some way, but because of already mentioned iternal character of my emotions, people don't get me as clingy or possesive. But one great fact is that I am. And if I need someone's attetnion, I will earn it if I have to.