Clingy, awkward ISFPs | INFJ Forum

Clingy, awkward ISFPs

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z523x4gr98j

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Mar 26, 2009
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Not saying that all ISFPs are like this, of course. I just seem to be a magnet for this particular type, and I wonder why. Currently, I'm avoiding one and trying to figure out how I should deal with him before he realizes I'm avoiding him and his feelings are hurt.

He probably started liking me because I was friendly to him, though I didn't go out of my way to talk to him or anything. A lot of people made fun of him, so I guess I should have known he'd latch onto me.

What I'm wondering is, has anyone else experienced this? A propensity for attracting clingy, somewhat awkward, insecure, ISFPs. I know that's very specific, but that's what I find so bizarre—that such a specific personality has latched onto me more than once.
 
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This is quite interesting to me because I have a similar relationship with many INFPs, although for me the attraction is often mutual. I would say that for some dominant Fi users an INFJ can often be quite attractive, because some INFJs embody their Fi values. In my case, I'm quite abstract but also quite humanitarian, which flows much better with INFPs than ISFPs. But, as an artist, you fit into these ISFPs' Fi worldview that praises artistic expression, and also you said you've been polite and kind, which is how these ISFPs have been trying to appear, as they must value that kind of reputation.

You cannot let kindness and compassion weigh down your life, however. It is unfortunate that you are no longer able to be with this friend who has helped you so much, but if you've already talked about his feelings and how nothing is going to change then there is little you can do. You must stand firm so as not to disregard your own feelings for someone else's. It seems like you already know this, however, and it is rather sad if such a friendship is not going to work out.

Alternatively, you can realize that INFJs may be the sexiest people anywhere, and so it's no surprise that a type with an Se auxiliary function would be attracted to them.
 
Thank you for sharing/ranting.

I've had similar experiences with awkward ISFPs males... although, I'm not an artist and these ISFPs generally aren't artistic either, nor am I INFJ.

When it comes to this kind of situation, I give them the choice of respecting platonic friendship boundaries, or not being my friend. I feel like the moment I realize that their ideas about relationships are not realistic, and their emotions begin to snowball, it is the only humane thing to do. To be fair, it's not only for their sake, but also for my own sake.. it's stressful to have to deal with. I explain my reasoning to them, and if they choose to persist, then it's the doorslam for them.
 
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