Childless Men Depressed | INFJ Forum

Childless Men Depressed

Gaze

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Childless men depressed: Majority want children, more affected than women

Childless men are more likely to be depressed than women according to a study published this week by Keele University in Staffordshire, England.

Research presented to the British Sociological Association on Wednesday said men are almost as likely to want children, and they become more isolated and depressed if they don't have them.

Keele University's Robin Hadley surveyed 27 men and 81 women without children to ask if they wanted children and why. 59 percent of men and 63 percent of women said they wanted children.

Half of the men said the experienced isolation because they did not have children, compared to 27 percent of women. The correlation (38 percent men compared to 27 percent of women) continued when asked if the felt depressed about not having children.
“There is very little research on the desire for fatherhood among men,” Hadley said in a release. “My work shows that there was a similar level of desire for parenthood among childless men and women in the survey, and that men had higher levels of anger, depression, sadness, jealousy and isolation than women and similar level of yearning.

“This challenges the common idea that women are much more likely to want to have children than men, and that they consistently experience a range of negative emotions more deeply than men if they don’t have children.”

Subjects were surveyed through online questionnaires and were aged 20 to 66, with an average age of 41. Hadley also surveyed an additional 125 men and women with children to determine whether they wanted more children.

The results changed if the subjects already had children. The women who wanted more children, when they thought about not being able to have them, had higher levels of anger, depression, guilt, isolation, sadness and yearning than men according to the University.

http://www.clarionledger.com/article/20130407/NEWS02/130407011
 
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that women can have children with or without a man, but men are dependent on women if they want children. Just a thought.
 
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Being a parent keeps one focused and gives one a reason to put up with life's bullshit.
 
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Online questionnaires are often terrible.

Also, making new human beings for the purpose of assuaging your own depression is bad.
 
Online questionnaires are often terrible.

Also, making new human beings for the purpose of assuaging your own depression is bad.

There's a difference between depression being the cause of having children, and not having children being the cause for depression. But with your personality, I can see why it is enticing to take an opportunity to criticize people, even if hypothetical.
 
I know of a few single men in their 40s who desperately want to be in a relationship and have children. It's as though they missed that opportunity or weren't really looking when they were in their later 20s. Now they have to find someone young enough to want them who desires the same thing, b/c most of the women in their same age group have had children and do not desire more. Their friends and family around them are settling into family life, which makes them feel very isolated.
 
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We should outlaw birth control to rescue future men from depression.
 
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Boy howdy, don't tell people about this, you might challenge the prominent stereotype that men hate children and shrink at the thought of commitment!
 
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Sociology is about as soft science as you get; I wouldn't take too much notice of the results.

I'm a man, childless and don't feel slightly depressed about it. I may want to have children down the line but it wouldn't be a major regret if I didn't
 
Don't men kind of have an unspoken pressure of needing to pass their genes on? Seems like part of the male stereotype which I can imagine might be feeling depressing if not fulfilled.
 
Boy howdy, don't tell people about this, you might challenge the prominent stereotype that men hate children and shrink at the thought of commitment!

Sociology is about as soft science as you get; I wouldn't take too much notice of the results.

I'm a man, childless and don't feel slightly depressed about it. I may want to have children down the line but it wouldn't be a major regret if I didn't

nooooooo what are you dooooooiiinggggggggg
 
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I know of a few single men in their 40s who desperately want to be in a relationship and have children. It's as though they missed that opportunity or weren't really looking when they were in their later 20s. Now they have to find someone young enough to want them who desires the same thing, b/c most of the women in their same age group have had children and do not desire more. Their friends and family around them are settling into family life, which makes them feel very isolated.

this. I know more than a few. It surprised me.
 
I know I want kids but at the same time I don't. There is a lot of happiness and fulfillment it can bring but also a ton of stress and anxiety. I know a couple of older guys who are perfectly happy they never had kids. They have all different relationship pasts. Some are your typical player who never settled down and doesn't want to. You also have the other who did settle down but had other interests over kids. I can see though how some might be depressed, especially if their entire social circle is settled down and no longer does stuff with them.
 
I'm sad...

Somebody please have my babies. :m083: :md: :m122:
 
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I don't know my partner talks about "the distant future" and "how he would raise his kids", but the truth is I decided against kids a long time ago. I've seen too much in this world to have any faith in it, and after dealing with my own severe depression as a young adult, and realizing that this world isn't really made for people to succeed (everyone I know is just barely getting by) and the lack of compassion, and how corrupt everything is, I don't want to have kids at all. What if they resented me for bringing them into the world? I resented my parents, and I didn't want to live, and maybe it's just defective genes, but what if they felt the same way that I felt? Also, it was disgusting as a young woman how many creepy middle-aged men would shamelessly hit on me, if I had a daughter, I would just feel bad. I feel bad for kids now, and I'm just 25. I see what they are going through, and I can completely relate. I recently started re-reading the Catcher in the Rye, and I understand the sentiment of this quote:

“Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be.”
― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

It seems like people just become mediocre and corrupted, and I don't want to bring something innocent into the world, I feel like it's an amount of emotional vulnerability that is inoperable for me to live with. I could never handle it. I'm too emotionally fragile as it is.

As a side note, it's so rare for me to see "real men" in the sense that they are actually successful and don't drink or do drugs. So if men really feel that way, maybe they should change these misconceptions. Maybe they are afraid, because they don't want to pressure the women, but a lot of people want to have kids- so I am sure they could find somebody to have children with.

I don't know, I'm a misanthropist, but these are just my general sentiments. It actually feels really good to voice them.
 
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