Childcare career | INFJ Forum

Childcare career

Discussion in 'Education and Careers' started by Ethereal, Mar 8, 2010.

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  1. Ethereal

    Ethereal Regular Poster

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    Does anyone here work with children?

    I am an extreme INFJ, very introverted, super-sensitive, dreamy and kinda odd. I have always agonized over what job/career would suit me, I am now in my 30s with a trail of dropped out college courses and dead-end jobs behind me. I simply CANNOT cope with most jobs due to extreme anxiety, social phobia and being unable to do even basic maths without the use of a calculator.

    My last job I was a nursery assistant in a pre-school with 1-5 year olds. Now, half of me loved this job as I am very nurturing and special needs kids in particular gravitate towards me, I have a passion for psychology and a huge interest in autism (I have a son and a husband who both have Asperger's Syndrome) I also liked it because I can mess about with glitter and paint all day and that kind of thing.

    The other half of me found it to be incredibly draining both mentally and physically, as I am required to interact and talk all day long, but the worst part was the NOISE, some days it drove me NUTS. It was a mainstream nursery and I didn't like some of the methods so think maybe Montessori or Waldorf Steiner schools may be more up my street.

    I seem to have this struggle with the 2 sides of my personality, I don't know which is the real me. I have looked into training for office type jobs but I don't think I'm cut out for that either, I think I daydream about working in a quiet office with a desk in a corner somewhere yet I bet the reality is quite different and I would freak out under pressure and having to do the dreaded "multi-tasking" would be very difficult if not impossible for me.

    Also, I cannot afford to go back to college, I have a very idiosyncratic way of learning and although I have a slight intellectual bent, I am not academic. I could not cope before at college, I could not understand the tutor, I could not cope with the "get into groups and discuss" thing, no no no!!!

    Damn shame because many professionals have told me that I have a brilliant mind and would be a fantastic psychologist. Oh well *sigh*



    So, any INFJs work in childcare? How do you find it? Any advice, tips etc?
     
  2. CoffeeShopDiva

    CoffeeShopDiva Community Member

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    I've worked with behavioural youth. I found it absolutely exhausting most of the time. It wasn't so much the social contact as the constant conflict that wore me down.

    But, this is YOUR thing. What do you want?
     
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  3. OP
    Ethereal

    Ethereal Regular Poster

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    That's just it, I'm not sure, I'm drawn to helping/caring/nurturing but often feel that I'm just too introverted and want to be left alone :noidea:
     
  4. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I feel the same as you do, actually. I'm currently in a social service position where the non-stop interaction sucks the life out of me. I want to help, in fact, I'm really passionate about the mission of my organization.. But I also want to be left alone.

    I have found, that what helps is to make sure you have set aside time to nurture yourself. That is very crucial to any caretaker, otherwise you will burn out.

    I'm also not an INFJ. That may have something to do with it. I'm an INFP, so my first function is Fi. A very private and introspective function. Are you sure you are an INFJ?
     
  5. arbygil

    arbygil Passing through

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    ^^I echo what acd's saying, but that's a good thing; the better you know yourself, the better you'll be able to find that place that fits you (rather than the other way around). A lot of the jobs INFJs seek are similar to what INFPs would seek (counselor, librarian, teacher, etc) but you definitely need to take a career assessment test to find jobs that match your interests with your abilities. I can't say what test will be the best for you, but you can type in "career assessment" and see what jobs pop up. Then check here to get a comprehensive description of the jobs: www.bls.gov/oco (and use the tiny search bar in the corner to get job info).

    Good luck, though - finding the right career can be really, really tough. But until you find that one job that you *love* based on who you are and your interests, you'll never stop looking. :(
     
  6. OP
    Ethereal

    Ethereal Regular Poster

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    Yes, am certain I am INFJ, have taken all the tests, multiple times weeks and months apart and always come out as INFJ, the descriptions are so accurate too.
     
  7. OP
    Ethereal

    Ethereal Regular Poster

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    Thanks Arbygil, yes, finding something that fits, geeezzz, I don't even want a career anymore, just a job that I can tolerate, although one that means something and isn't just drudgery would be great. I just don't fit in this damn world, all this "must be team player" "must have bubbly outgoing personality" shite :yuck:
     
  8. SpoofyMcPoof

    SpoofyMcPoof Community Member

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    I currently work as a teacher's assistant in a daycare that has children ranging from 6 months to five years old, and I can TOTALLY relate. Half the time I love it and half the time I just want OUT. I got a bachelors in education but after three weeks of hell in a public school realized that I just can't do classroom management...that I'm more of a one on one person. That's why I like being an assistant, because I can concentrate on the kids one at a time.

    I really feel like INFJ's must be more meant for nurturing positions where they can work one on one and not have the constant stress of too much stimuli (such as at a daycare) like counseling. The horrible thing is that I know I would be a great psychologist but like you I cannot even start to afford the college required. Perhaps taking on a job as a counselor requires less expensive training? I'm not sure. But it's really tough trying to find a good fit. Sometimes I feel like I will never find the job that I can really fit into.
     
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  9. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    yeah, you can. you are not giving yourself enough credit.
    social phobia/extreme anxiety - get therapy. or work on it yourself, by repeated exposure to the situations you fear. it's tough, but not impossible, to substantially reduce your level of fear.
    maths skills - more than likely you don't have a solid foundation in basic maths; i'd get a tutor, or study some children's maths books and develop your understanding that way.

    also, reconsider going back to college. save up for it, or take out a loan; i'm sure with a bit of persistence you can learn how to deal with tutors and "groups" and everything else associated with school. your academic history doesn't necessarily have anything to do with what you can do now; give yourself a chance and you might even find that you enjoy it.

    as for a suitable job, well i'm not an infj so i don't really know. i think something relaxed and quiet with few responsibilities will make you somewhat happy. how about looking after animals? or professional writing?
     
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  10. Soulful

    Soulful life is good

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    If you wanted to return to college to study psychology, would it be possible to do at least part of your degree through a distance program that wouldn't require in-person interaction? I imagine at some point you'd have to complete practical courses, which might be where the group-sessions would fall in...

    It's really unfortunate that the more jobs "evolve", the more rah-rah-teamwork they become. It makes total sense, but yikes. :m051:
     
  11. Madison

    Madison Regular Poster

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    I can relate to your hellish teaching situation. Classroom management for elementary and middle school wasn't my strength at all. I couldn't imagine spending years in that job.

    Now, after my bachelors, I'm looking into going back to school for a job that has less interpersonal conflict and where I can be one-on-one with people.
     
  12. Matariki

    Donor

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    Not an INFJ, but I have worked with plenty of kids in the past.
    Its great, but for me not a carrer option.
    Interesting to hear that your hubby and kid have autism, they can come and join the club. :mpoke:
    About study, are you able to get some form of student loan?
    Usually that will cover for the cost of your tution.

    Advice for working with kids? Patience.
    But knowing INFJ's, you guys are pretty much the ideal caregivers while on the other hand ENTP's are known for using children for scientific experiments and cheap labour.

    Also for some odd reason I haven't welcomed you to the forums yet,
    so welcome and I hope that you are enjoying yourself here so far.
     
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  13. VivaCohen

    VivaCohen Newbie

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    Are you sure you're not me? lol I'm younger than you, 22, but I already sound like I'm living your life so far ha... I can't do math. I mean, I can hardly add numbers together unless I have a calculator or pen and paper. This has made every job I've had hell as I haven't graduated college yet so the only jobs I've been able to get have involved counting money, etc. On top of that, when you count money, its generally the money of customers, which means you're counting and socializing at the same time.

    I haven't been able to get other jobs so far because I haven't graduated college yet, and I haven't graduated college yet because I keep switching my major once I learn how absolutely wrong for me they have all been. So I've finally decided on Early Childhood Education. I love working with children and no serious math skills required.

    I've been lucky enough to find a job at a Montessori school today and I start in two weeks, ages 1-5, and I even agree with how the school is run etc. I'm very interested in students with autism as well but I'm afraid that the constant socializing will just run me down, and when I'm run down and anxious is effects my job performance. I'm pretty nervous about it. So I'm going to give this whole education thing a chance. I think facing my social anxiety will make me more confident and have a lot of positive effects. It always does, but it never makes the social anxiety go away. Its not socializing with the children that gets to me though, its socializing with co-workers and I'm not sure why.

    I used to have social anxiety constantly but with a lot of work it seems to only be when I have to perform such as at work or doing oral presentations now, etc. I'm rather social when it comes to just being out and about. So maybe work atmospheres will get easier as well. The way I see it though, is that all jobs are going to have some level of socializing or some un-enjoyable aspect about it, so maybe I should just find the one that fits me the most even if its not perfect and maybe the social challenge can be a learning experience.

    Also, I think its all the real you! Everyone has different parts of themselves and sometimes they just contradict each other lol
    Sorry for rambling, it just struck me how similar your situation is to mine lol
     
    #13 VivaCohen, May 13, 2010
    Last edited: May 13, 2010
  14. VivaCohen

    VivaCohen Newbie

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    As someone with extreme social anxiety and who is currently working on getting my degree, I would suggest you take all of the real classes you can. The more you force yourself to socialize in these "practice" settings, the easier it will be to transfer to the social encounters you'll be having after you graduate and enter the work force. I haven't graduated yet but I've had jobs and other situations where my in class socializing has helped immensely. This has been my experience, maybe its different for everyone.
     
  15. 1whitehorse1

    1whitehorse1 Regular Poster

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    Hey there, that is so funny to hear how similar other INFJs have had it - I also got a B.Ed. in intermediate English/Art (highschool) but realised during practicum that I was not great at classroom management - my forte had been being an English tutor for 6 years during school, and then working for 1 year at an Oxford Learning centre with the preschool kids during the day and the teens during the night. It was fun but draining at times, and you did have to be 'on' all the time. But much easier when you only had 1-6 children to focus on at once.

    So, I went into an executive assistant role after that, but eventually it wore me out due to my pesky and demanding ENTJ boss (female) and my desire to ascend in my career...to climb that corporate ladder, as it were, and after landing a job elsewhere, for less pay, and more work, thinking I was doing the right thing and exposing myself to more learning for that next great job, I was let go after half a year. So, that sucks.

    Like you who have mentioned, I've suffered with social and general anxiety forever, which has at times led to bouts of depression. I find it hard to fit into this world sometimes. But yes, I second the thoughts of wanting to assist/support/help people one on one. Sometimes office jobs provide you with this contact as well (sometimes a little bit too much!). I doubt that I will go back to teaching/tutoring at this time. I think I will be looking for a job that is office-based but more on the humanistic side than the number crunching side, as yes, I'm not a fan of math either. Unless it's simple functions with money, stats, reports, lol. People at my first job still remember me fondly and joke about me coming back, which means something to me. And customers at my second job would always thank me for my sincere help on the phone, which again means something to me.

    So yeah, we INFJs really have an interesting deck of cards to play with!
     
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