"Can you handle this ______?" | INFJ Forum

"Can you handle this ______?"

Gaze

Gaze

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So, in relationships sometimes before, during, or after the fact, we have these guidelines we use to protect ourselves from getting too involved with someone who can't handle aspects of who we are whether it's unique life circumstances, quirks, personality, likes/dislikes, etc.


Which leads me to the question, what are some things you would want future, current, or even past partners to understand about you in order to be with you and have a more successful relationship?

In other words, fill the blanks "If you want to be with me, you must be able to handle this ___________"
 
Me sitting in front of a computer or television for many many many hours playing games, watching movies or perusing forums and being generally lazy.

Also, I will be talking about what happens on those games/movies/forums at great length periodically.
 
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They have to handle the fact that I detest cursing and negativity and that I when i get extremely happy, I will sing, usually in relation to what I am happy about.
 
invisible said:
handling me is not worth the returns.
Click to expand...


Sad...and so untrue. I see lots of love for you around here.

I am a perfectionist and very orderly. If you are a slob, this is not going to work. I also question everything which depending on your personality type, you may find particularly annoying. I have a NEED to understand everything which can sometimes be impossible when you put human thought/emotion into the mix. Those are just a few...perhaps I am beginning to see Invisible's thought process here. :(
 
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I'm pretty apathetic towards most social conventions and western lifestyles. Not because I'm a non-conformist, I just simply don't give a shit about things like materialism (I prefer to live as a minimalist), rigidly defined gender roles and the latest in celebrity gossip (or any gossip for that matter). So if you care about social tradition and being with someone who can pay for and accompany you in a jet setter lifestyle filled with high fashion and fun with the bourgeois, then look elsewhere because you won't get it through me.

I also can be pretty intense in terms of directness. I don't do passive aggressive nor do I do pity parties. I like strong women so be strong and know how to fight.
 
My asexuality. OCD, phobias, anxiety, sometimes stubbornness, eccentric ways of thinking, bluntness, very shitty feeling function.

I guess you could call me a frigid bitch.
 
If you want to be with me, you must be able to handle who I am. I do not ask for much, only this. I will love you for everything you are, if you can love me down at your core. I can see through any fakeyness, so no point in trying.
 
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Awesome topic as always, Anita!

Anita said:
...fill the blanks "If you want to be with me, you must be able to handle this ___________"
Click to expand...

Understand that while I'm cuddly and sweet, I sometimes drop off the face of the planet when I get super absorbed with one of my projects or helping out a friend. If I don't call or write for a few days, it doesn't mean I've forgotten all about you. It means I'm either a) busy or b) stressed and need to reconfigure, c) processing and do not want to be disturbed,

I'm also very close with my family. If you can't handle me spending time with my nieces or helping out my brother and my sister-in-law, it's going to be tough cookies for you.

I also have waaaay more guy friends than I have girlfriends. It doesn't mean you have to be suspicious or possessive. In fact, if you are, you'll probably get on my nerves and have one of 'em saying "I told you so..."
 
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:m173:

If you want to be with me, you must be able to handle the fact that I do not dress to conform to societal norms and values; and I expect you to adopt the same principles in regards anatomical correctness.
 
I am weird about food, I don't sleep well, I'm sexually needy, I like my space.
 
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If you want to be with me you have to be able to accept the fact that I don't go in for any half-measures. If I'm in, I'm all in and I expect you to be the same, if you're not, I have no interest in being with you.

If you want to be with me you have to understand that there is absolutely no openness in our relationship. I cannot tolerate cheating in any way, you don't get 3 strikes, you get one. there can be no forgiveness, because if you cheat on me, you're just not worth it. I don't need to spend months or years of my life forgiving and doubting you.

If you want to be with me, you've just got to accept that I'm a little posessive. I don't mind if you have female friends or whatever, but I do have a problem if you invite them to stay with you alone if I'm not at the house, especially if we're in a long-distance relationship, and no, I don't care if they're in seperate rooms. I've been hurt and I get suspicious easily because of it, so deal. it's the price of being with me and yes, I do have a problem with you eyeing other women and imagining what could be, or joking around with your mates. If you want to be with other people, do it, don't waste my time.

If you want to be with me, don't mess with my independence. it's the most important thing in my life, mostly because almost every person I meet tries to take it away from me somehow, and I don't need that from you. I like it when you do things for me that normal partners would do, but I don't like it when you get paranoid about me cooking, ry to help me into a car or whatever. that's what overprotective people do for disabled people, and if you're going to treat me like that, any relationship won't last long.t
 
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