can you commit to a 'relationship' built on lies and insincerity?

maybe we should just be friends

 

I guess it depends, you're not gonna find a perfect relationship anywhere, and even if you think your relationship is perfect, your partner might disagree.
Relationships are a bit of give and take. White lies will always happen in relationships, that's just part of life.
Everyone tells a few white lies to everyone, even if it is just a lie about the intensity of the enthusiasm you feel for something like: That's AMAZING instead of That's great!
Of course I have no idea what kind of white lies you were told, and in the end no lies of any kind are good, so what it then comes down to is if something about the given lie / the lies subject is forever unforgivable to you.
If it is, then definitely do not continue. But be sure about the unforgivable part.

can you commit to a 'relationship' built on lies and insincerity?
That depends. I'd say "NO" towards manipulators. Yet depending on what the lie is I could.
Sincerity though is something I put a lot of value on.

I could commit to a relationship with someone who lied about parts of their past/what they do for a living.
But not to a person who was not sincere about their feelings and intent towards me or their medical condition and did not come clean about that before I figured it out and had fully committed.
So say, (in my case it would be a woman) if some really amazing woman ends up telling me something like that:

She initially only intended to be with me to use me and did not have any feelings towards me, but has developed these feelings and lost her will to screw me over, then I could.
Sure, I would take a few precautions just in case but I respect that life is not always what it is and that people do things for a reason.
If I figure it out before I'm told though, then hell no. I personally cannot trust someone who does not trust me enough to spill the beans before I reach a point of whether or not to commit.

The ultimate most hurtful and unforgivable lies to me concern betrayal. So things like cheating on the other and lying by omission or straight out lying about that...
that would crush me even more than a confession about it would. To me such a betrayal is what would destroy me but the pain would be a lot greater if not told directly after the fact.
I would definitely end a relationship on the spot in such a case.

But that's just my opinion.

Whatever your situation entails and how to handle it, is something only you can decide for yourself.
Choose what is feels best for yourself whenever you're at a crossroad in a relationship.

 

It's preferable that someone keep quiet and not engage certain topics, than to lie about them.

I've got a good memory for even the smallest details from conversations held decades ago; and I'm very quick to pick up lies. If someone lies to me, I shut them completely out of my life (some exceptions, of course, if the lie was unavoidable). This shutting out is not a contempt/rejection, so much as a sense that there's no point speaking with this person, because actual exchange can't happen easily, if at all. If I were more patient, I probably wouldn't shut liars out so much.

 

Like America has done for the past 7 years? No.

 

I'd rather not.

 

No way.

 

it would really depend on how much money she has

 

Even then. What's the point? Is she so unwilling and insecure to show her true self? You will never be able to know her for who she truly is. Her inability to be vulnerable with you (for whatever reason- more than likely her own insecurities) shows a lack of trust that you would even like the person that she's hiding beneath her grand performance. And even though you can see past that and understand it's all for show, do you really want to play that game constantly? A connection with another should be much deeper than what lays on the surface. Even if you can tolerate her web of constant lies, you need to ask yourself... Is it worth it? How long can I endure this? Because in the end, it is you that will suffer the most.

 

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Such a situation is equivalent to coded communication, which while unpleasant, doesn't really qualify as lying. I don't have patience for that crap either.

 

Here's what I have to say about it.

Dude, run.

 

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahha.

But in all seriousness, some people would. People with broken hearts and sense of self, people with particular complexes...

 

Tried it. In fact I tried it over the span of years. But the magnitude of lies and manipulation was too great and nearly destroyed me.

I suppose we need some context about what the lies are.