Can a male and a female be best friends? | INFJ Forum

Can a male and a female be best friends?

Reon

Reon

Midnight's Garden
Nov 1, 2008
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This is more of a poll than anything, (I'm trying to decide my opinion on this) The relationship is purely platonic and the couple have no past sexual history. Is it possible without romantic feelings ever creeping (Even subconsciously (to a large extent, subconsciously it's kinda obvious it's there)) into the relationship by one party or the other.
 
yes
 
We've debated this before and I am somewhat of two opinions on this. I think it is very hard for a less mature person (aka guy) to have this type of relationship with a woman. It becomes easier for a guy to do this as we mature I believe. My answer, strictly from my own perspective, is yes it is possible if the involved parties are mature. But even then the thought will probably cross their minds. (we are human after all)

I think its a big part of maturing to be able to have these types of relationships.
 
75% of the time no, 20% of the time yes, 5% of the time one kills the other in a crime of passion.


We've done this before as QP said, and in my opinion while it's possible it's also highly unlikely for one of the two to not develope some sort of feelings. The question is what do you do with those feelings?
 
It's not necessarily whether or not the two can be friends; sometimes it's whether or not the partners of those two can handle the friendships.

It tends to be easier if one of the friends is homosexual, though.

I'm old enough now that it doesn't matter. But ten years ago I would've said it was an impossibility.
 
It depends on the persons involved.
 
A good point about partners Arby. That is often the biggest roadblock. I have to give my wife credit for having a lot of patience with me the last year or so. I have been much more active online, and have many women friends now. She was super-jealous years ago and has really come around. I've never given her any reason not to trust me, but for some people it still doesn't matter.
 
Yup. :)
 
can they? well, yes - if male is gay, underage or under special circumstances. But in general - NO!.
 
Yes. Most of my current friends (that I see daily) are female. It's kind of impossible for me to not have any female friends because there are 8 girls for every male in my class.

I don't want to bang them, and I'm straight.

Oh yea, and an online friendship is something different than a real-life one.
 
The Jester said:
Yes. Most of my current friends (that I see daily) are female. It's kind of impossible for me to not have any female friends because there are 8 girls for every male in my class.

I don't want to bang them, and I'm straight.

Oh yea, and an online friendship is something different than a real-life one.
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well there is a distinction between friend and best friend, I have several female friends but none of them are my best friend (The more I read best friend the less I like the term).

It's a deeper relationship then just hanging out every once and a while, or just the guys/girls you go to school with.
 
Dunno. My 1 infj female friend seems to have been able to do it. She's kinda clever with this kinda shit tho.
 
Barnabas said:
well there is a distinction between friend and best friend, I have several female friends but none of them are my best friend (The more I read best friend the less I like the term).

It's a deeper relationship then just hanging out every once and a while, or just the guys/girls you go to school with.
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One has potential of joining the best friends group.
I only know her since september, so it's kind of normal I don't label her yet as a 'best friend'.

Oh yeah, her best friend is also a male, with who she has no relationship with and has no interest in.
 
well there is a distinction between friend and best friend, I have several female friends but none of them are my best friend (The more I read best friend the less I like the term).
Click to expand...

That's an interesting point. 'Best friend' is an ambiguous term, and I suppose I read it as 'the friend who is closest to me', rather than 'the friend I rate most highly', but I know not everyone sees things this way.
 
The Jester said:
One has potential of joining the best friends group.
I only know her since september, so it's kind of normal I don't label her yet as a 'best friend'.

Oh yeah, her best friend is also a male, with who she has no relationship with and has no interest in.
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But the question is does he have a interest in her expressed or not? I've known several people booth male and female whom have had feelings for their intimate friend (I like this term better the best friend[get your mindout of the gutter Shai]) but would never reveal them on the chance of losing their already close relationship.
 
Barnabas said:
I've known several people booth male and female whom have had feelings for their intimate friend (I like this term better the best friend[get your mindout of the gutter Shai]) but would never reveal them on the chance of losing their already close relationship.
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Yeah, a best friend has a deeper connection (I'm assuming) than just a average friend. So, there would be likely a strong bond or emotional intimacy because of the closeness, which can quite easily lead to feelings for the person. Simply because someone is not initially or consciously "attracted" to someone in the early phases of a friendship, doesn't mean they won't later on develop some interest because of closeness from a deeper friendship.
 
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Yes, if any male wants any female best friend for him, then he must be willing to accept one condition for best friendship, limit oneself for close friendship. I mean, don't take best friendship as romantic relationship.

You know, there is thin line between love and friendship. I had said somewhere before, i can't remind it where i wrote it. But yes, i believe in this.
 
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Barnabas said:
But the question is does he have a interest in her expressed or not? I've known several people booth male and female whom have had feelings for their intimate friend (I like this term better the best friend[get your mindout of the gutter Shai]) but would never reveal them on the chance of losing their already close relationship.
Click to expand...

They both have a relationship with someone else.
 
Definitely - when I was younger the person I most loved and trusted (and I guess I still do, but I'll probably never see her again) was a nun living in convent with strict enclosure.

I think she may be the closest thing I have to a soul-mate.
 
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