Being with one person for the rest of your life: Still possible? | INFJ Forum

Being with one person for the rest of your life: Still possible?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Aug 6, 2012.

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  1. Gaze

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    So, more people are waiting until later on to live with someone or get married. And people are less likely to believe today that it's possible to be with one person forever (meaning make a committment to be with someone until death). Some believe that it's not practical or realistic to commit to one person. Many also do not believe that one person can be enough. For some, a strong sense of independence whether financial/social makes it harder to imagine sharing space much less a life with anyone.

    But even with all the concerns we have or how modern we are today, do you think it's still possible based on our current values, beliefs, etc. to be with one person, be happy with that one person, or feel comfortable committing to one person for the rest of your life? Is there still value in being with one person for a long time vs. being with many people for a shorter period of time?
     
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    #1 Gaze, Aug 6, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2012
  2. Nixie

    Nixie Resurrected

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    A part of me is a bit of a hopeless romantic and says yes.

    Not in the hollywood sense though...committing to someone is hard work. Pretty Woman is a lie and boy meets girl stories are contrived.
     
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  3. OP
    Gaze

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    I am not just asking about romantic aspects of it, but about whether there is other value in being with one person for a lifetime. These aspects could be more practical, financial, spiritual, social, emotional, cultural, etc.
     
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    #3 Gaze, Aug 6, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2012
  4. JGirl

    JGirl no chocolate flavored gum? wow

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    i plan to be with my partner for the rest of my life, but i also realize that it's not in my control. i can only know based on what i am experiencing now. if he ended up being a serial killer or something i think that would end it lol but you know what i mean
    planning isn't committing though. and i don't think i would commit to anything so black and white when human relationships are comprised of so many shades of grey in between.
    i stayed with my ex husband for twenty years even though by year two the marriage starting sucking. i thought that was what commitment was, but i realize now that was merely servitude and stagnation.
     
  5. Vict

    Vict mechanical and habitual agent
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    Not for me. I'm marred by every relationship experience since childhood.

    But I do believe it's possible to make the most of the time you have with someone. To love and learn and grow, even if it's not with the same person until death.
     
  6. the

    the Si master race.
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    I believe it is possible and it is my intention. However if one of us dies I may (or may not) find someone else.
     
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  7. 5r6jhd

    5r6jhd I put on my robe and wizard hat.
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    Obviously there are situations where a relationship might end. I think it's possible, but not easy. Sometimes I think people rush into things or are too lazy to work.
     
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  8. OP
    Gaze

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    Yeah, I think it is possible but it takes an incredible amount of committment, responsibility, and stick-to-it-iveness as we used to say.
     
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  9. 5r6jhd

    5r6jhd I put on my robe and wizard hat.
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    The more I live, and I have not lived long, I think it comes down to maturity....

    There seem to be so few really mature people in the world.
     
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  10. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    I do not think human beings are meant to spend their lives with 1 person. I think its a relic of an older era when marriage was still relevant. Marriage today is a joke.
     
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  11. Rferraris

    Rferraris Community Member

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    Wow. I think it's sad you feel that way.
    I hope something changes your mind someday.
     
  12. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    I think its sad you don't think that way, and I am almost sure something WILL change your mind some day lol. What in this fucked up world aside from hollywood ever gave you the impression that human beings can last in relationships for very long? I only know a handful of people who are happily married, and of that handful even less of them have been married for 10 years+ Not all of us came from a happy home filled with love and wedded bliss. I was at my parents wedding when I was 6 or 7 and I can say for sure that they quite possibly hate each other now but they have a nice mutual co-dependence on each other thats so beyond unhealthy that I think its turned me off to the idea of marriage for life. Most marriages I come across are similar but less extreme.
     
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  13. Rferraris

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    Funny, but I don't know/remember what it's like to be without her. Don't want to know.
     
  14. Rferraris

    Rferraris Community Member

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    We are married 20 this year.
    Been together longer, right. Like 23.
    We both came from broken families.
    Her dad left her at 10. My dad just sucks. So no pretty Brady bunch moments for us growing up.
    It's not common. Hear people say stuff like you a lot. But its different for me.
    Just saying.
     
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  15. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    Congratulations you found an anomaly that the rest of us likely never will.
     
  16. Rferraris

    Rferraris Community Member

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    Kinda why I said I hope something changes your mind someday. Just hoping you find a friend to partner with. If thats what you want.
     
  17. Billy

    Billy Contents Under Pressure
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    You don't think that the guy who won the lottery running around telling everyone else they can win too if they play enough is deluding himself and others?
     
  18. the

    the Si master race.
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    What a downer you've been lately.
     
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  19. Rferraris

    Rferraris Community Member

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    Wow sorry if it comes across that way.
    Taking anything for granted is the best way to lose it. I wouldn't take it for granted.

    I'm sure I wouldn't find someone else I could stay with. But I think in part that's cause I can't imagine, understand etc.

    But her and I are just friends. Really that's all. We respect each other. I don't always agree with her. But I support her. Getting kinda story book but I want to believe its possible to find a friend out there. It can't all be bad break ups.
     
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  20. Jill Hives

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    Seriously...bitter much?

    What works for some people isn't going to work for others. To each his own.
     
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