Being a debbie downer?

[Artemisia]

Have other INFJs been accused of this? You think of all the possible things that could go wrong, warn others about the fact that society is one big jungle, and tell them that most people care only about themselves and they accuse you of being a debbie downer. Since we INFJs can discern hidden motivations in people and can bring them to the forefront, I wonder how other people are so quick to dismiss this as irrelevant.

 

[the]

Other infjs have accused me of this.

 

[Milktoast Bandit]

The only time I've been called a Debbie Downer was the time I dressed as a woman and almost OD'd on quaaludes. I pooped my pants, puked on myself, and passed out. Most often I am praised for my optimism.

 

[Stu]

The only time I've been called a Debbie Downer was the time I dressed as a woman and almost OD'd on quaaludes. I pooped my pants, puked on myself, and passed out. Most often I am praised for my optimism.

Martha?

 

[Milktoast Bandit]

Martha?

OMG Stu!
This is so embarrassing!

 

[ZcM4xzkjgzCjytBc]

Do you think some people are too stupid to see it, or maybe they position theirselves where these negative things aren't part of their lives?

 

[Tin Man]

No, I've gotten a lot more of the whole "cold, unfeeling INTJ" comments. Weirdly I've gotten more of those recently despite the fact I think I've become more of a warmer person.

Then again I suppose there isn't much of a difference between absolute zero and one degree above absolute zero.

 

[Asa]

Not exactly those words, but yes. I've been accused of being a snob when I know there is something 'off' about a person. I've been accused of being grim and 'dark'... and I admit I am to an extent.
I'm also praised for my positivity.

I've learned to balance what I say unless I am with close friends. Most of the time I don't bother to say anything at all unless I pick up on something that feels like a threat.

 

[Siimplicity]

I'm quick to confront the dark but then I'm also quick to make light, seek the silver lining, and count blessings. Often negative circumstances can be turned into powerful opportunities to learn.

 

[Sandie33]

I leave others to their own divisiveness(so?) I'm lending to know that others view life & events differently and I let them.

Happy by nature turns others off at times. I know I don't get the same opportunity from them treating me in kind...so I let them be.

Up is better than down...let them notice their own

 

[sassafras]

I'm quick to confront the dark but then I'm also quick to make light, seek the silver lining, and count blessings. Often negative circumstances can be turned into powerful opportunities to learn.

This, pretty much.

It's not about ignoring problems or downplaying their severity. To me, a Debbie Downer is someone who wallows in negativity unproductively. It's one thing to bring attention to an issue and discuss the consequences, and entirely another to try to continually masturbate other people's feelings of sympathy or outrage to match your own. You can tell this behavior two ways: the group acknowledges problem x, discusses it and Debbie keeps stoking the negativity fire with 'and another thing and another thing...' Or the group has changed the topic, perhaps to something lighter, and Debbie keeps bringing up things to feel badly about as if trying to maintain a minimum level of cynicism at all times.

I think we all do this to some small degree, especially if we're in a melancholic or cynical frame of mind at the time, but the true Debbie Downers are those who show this *pattern* of behavior consistently.

Personally, I don't see the point in lingering on things. If it can be fixed or thwarted, it's better to focus on a solution. If we have no control over it, there's no point in getting mad about it-- it's better to focus on the aspects of the issue that we *do* have control over. Negativity rarely finds solutions. A negative frame of mind is better suited to finding problems. On the other hand, the frame of mind that *does* assist in finding solutions is healthy optimism.

 

[Wyote]

I wonder how other people are so quick to dismiss this me as irrelevant.

 

[Siimplicity]

position theirselves where these negative things aren't part of their lives?

I believe that happiness is a choice.

 

[Milktoast Bandit]

Often negative circumstances can be turned into powerful opportunities to learn.

I believe that happiness is a choice.

 

[Siimplicity]

@Milktoast Bandit

touché I give. the world is shit and we should all just keel over and die now.

 

[Skarekrow]

 

[Milktoast Bandit]

@Milktoast Bandit

touché I give. the world is shit and we should all just keel over and die now.
View attachment 29096

 

[Milktoast Bandit]

Ahhhh you beat me to it!

 

[sassafras]

Dude. Hitler was the ultimate Debbie Downer.

They don't invade Poland and commit systematic mass genocide as a 'final solution' either, but you know...

 

[Siimplicity]

i am so depressed now