"Be a little less nice." | INFJ Forum

"Be a little less nice."

Trifoilum

find wisdom, build hope.
Dec 27, 2009
6,503
1,921
380
MBTI
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Assuming you -are- nice, with all the connotations (polite, amicable, good grasp of etiquette, slightly unwilling to confront people).....

If someone directly said it to you, under generic circumstances (no ill will, casual acquaintances to common friend, on a non-heated situation, with exact intentions a.k.a not a joke), would you comply?
======

I personally wouldn't, because I'm being nice when I want to, and trust me, when I am not, you don't have to ask. /deadpan
 
Just be yourself. If people like it, cool. If not, cool. But don't alter yourself to suit the druthers of other folks.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Nixie and aeon
Yup. But of course then they'll come back with 'whoa, that was too un-nice!' and I will shrug and smile and shut up.

Not usually an issue since I have an emotionless speech mode which lets people know I'm being serious.
 
I would, if only to illustrate to whoever said it that some things are better off not wished for. I'd also enjoy it as it it means I don't have to worry quite so much about stepping on others' shoes.
 
I have had people tell me this before because I tend to try and help people if I am able. The funny thing is though that being nice most of the time and having it in your nature to be nice makes when you are mean a whole lot scarier. Do you think it would have been as powerful when jesus flipped the tables in the temple over if he hadn't been a calm individual most of the time?
 
Smash them with hammers!

:m144:

Problem solved.
 
Just be yourself. If people like it, cool. If not, cool. But don't alter yourself to suit the druthers of other folks.
Pretty much this. I have had people tell me I am an angel and other people insist I am the hugest bitch they have ever met. I would rather act true to how I am and have someone think I am a bitch than act fake nice and then be miserable for it. Which I have definitely done a few times in the past in the interest of keeping friends/acquaintences. I just don't care as much anymore. I can handle other peoples personality flaws and won't ditch them for it as long as they are being real, if they can't handle mine, screw em.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Edith
Pretty much this. I have had people tell me I am an angel and other people insist I am the hugest bitch they have ever met. I would rather act true to how I am and have someone think I am a bitch than act fake nice and then be miserable for it. Which I have definitely done a few times in the past in the interest of keeping friends/acquaintences. I just don't care as much anymore. I can handle other peoples personality flaws and won't ditch them for it as long as they are being real, if they can't handle mine, screw em.

This for me too. If someone doesn't like me, fuck it. Not everyone can get on with each other well, just a fact of life. I don't force anyone to interact with me, so if they interact with me and don't like it, they can either deal with it or fuck off.
 
Show them your fist.
j/k.


You should just be you. Anyone who tells you to "be a little less nice" is saying that out of their own insecurities and it has nothing to do with you. If they're so bothered about how you're acting, they're the one with the problem.
 
yep. It indicates to me that I have been trying to be too nice and conciderate to other people. People are not quick with saying that I'm too nice so when they do say it, it is a sign that I have lost the balance.

It is good that you are nice but you have to concider why you are. If you are in balance, confortable with yourself, not trying to gain anything or please anyone, then please continue with being nice. But if not than take a closer look to the reason and try to find a balance
 
I often had my workmates telling me to be an ignorant idiot and shout back at people if they do something wrong or got on my nerves. Couldn't do it. xD

But saying that. I do tend to mold around each individual. Like I have an entire new mask for each person I speak to and certain patterns get put into that mask as I continue getting to know them. Being a little less nice just might come up during the process of getting to know them. If someone said it that I liked, I probably would ponder over it. Being kind and nice is a part of me though so most likely I wouldn't do anything about it. :)
 
I could not be a nice person even if i tired really.

Even when playing computer games like Mass Effect where there are moral choises
put in there. I am always the good guy. My ex use to tell me to stop being a goody-twoshoes.

So yeah, with me it is kinda hardwired into my personality. Couldnt change it even if i tried.
 
It's hilarious. When people tell me this, I become enraged. So I end up, in my self-righteous anger over people being not nice enough for me, momentarily becoming one of them. :redface:

It really is just a part of me to be nice.
 
Hahaah! Oh, I am trying to imagine someone telling me this...It has never happened.
No. I am not that nice.. Outwardly, at least...

I've told people (half jokingly) to be less nice.

I've said, "We need to teach you how to be mean."
To an acquaintance who was complaining about how she has to put up with her cheating sponge of a boyfriend..but my mean advice was just to kick him out on the street and doorslam him.
 
I just treat people the same way they treat me. It's simple enough.

Edit: Oops, I didn't answer your question. No, I would not comply with anyone saying that I should be less nice, simply because I don't see the need of it. When you're a jerk, you can rest assure that that will backfire someday and people will find it fitting to behave a jerk towards you. Then you become more of a jerk towards them, and that will cause a double reaction towards them to you and so on. So you see, you're feeding a chain of hatred, never ceasing to end. This is karma in a nutshell.
 
Last edited:
Uh I'd probably tone down my niceness a bit.

Not that I'm particularly nice in the first place, but eh. I don't care.
 
People have a habit of assuming that "nice" people are simply being nice to please others to either gain some sort of approval or to be clingy with others to cover insecurities. People believe it is fake. In a way it can be blamed on culture and that everyone seems to have cynical views on society. I hate it because people often mistake my true intentions. My niceness comes naturally.