Bars, clubs, coffee shops, malls, pubs, local dives, parks, etc.

[Gaze]

How do you think the meeting people in bars, clubs, coffee shops, malls, pubs, local dives, parks, etc. changed how we met people in the past compared to meeting people today through social networking sites and texting or other new communication technologies?


And what was your favorite bar, club, coffee shop, pub, local dive, parks, or other place to hangout or meet people?

 

[muir]

I think in pre-industrial society we were an agrarian economy where people were living spaced out over large tracts of land

People would meet through fairs, weddings, church, school, and other social gatherings; there may even have been an arranged aspect to the process ie input from the parents

Since the industrial age people flowed into the cities where they were stacked on top of each other like battery hens. Although new communities developed amongst the dense housing these were then destroyed in housing projects in the 20th century when large tracts of tenements were levelled and replaced with high rise buildings, where people couldn't just talk to their neighbour on the doorstep or walking down the street

The middle class meanwhile grew and moved out of the city centres into the suburbs, where people are neatly arranged in their own clearly defined little space

So i guess the emphasis has shifted from community based events to the individual

I think a good way in modern society to meet people is by doing activities you enjoy doing. This means that when you meet someone doing that you already have something in common, something to talk about, do together and bond over. It also provides good opportunities to keep on meeting and getting to know each other before the word 'date' even needs to arise

 

[Sriracha]

What has changed? The amount of time. Back then it seemed it took forever to get to know someone, now all you need to do is click on their Facebook page. Do we not have time anymore?

 

[Nixie]

I don't think things have changed that drastically really. IMO, most people meet at school, work and through family connections. While you may meet people at bars, dives and such, those tended to be hook ups and rather iffy as to whether a bond would form. I think social media has expanded to allow people to have a greater degree of interaction with people from many different backgrounds, it also doesn't really create many long term connections (as a general rule).

I think the worst thing is that people tend to become more socially retarded when they rely too heavily on social networking. They become too focused on their gadgets while ignoring the human beings in the room with them or they are incapable of engaging in polite conversation.

 

[Gaze]

An additional question would be how did traditional meeting spaces allow us to get to know people more or less? It just seems as if committments from the past lasted longer. Does this mean that spending more time getting to know someone through face to face traditional meeting spaces allowed people to know someone better before they entered long term relationships? And how is this affected by waiting to have physical intimacy rather than earlier? It seems people don't get to know each other as much today, enter physical relationships earlier, and assume the bond formed from the sexual relationship will give the relationship the glue it needs to last, while not putting as much effort into developing the social relationship between the couple.

 

[muir]

I think its the corporate consumer culture. Everyone has been programmed to consume; its all they know, so now they consume their relationships as well. People in the past may have had longer relationships but they weren't bombarded all the time with the consumer ethos and culture in its many manifestations

Consumerism has delivered comforts but not meaning and purpose. People have evolved over 200,000 years. We didn't evolve over that time to need comforts, we evolved to need meaning, purpose and shared community

Instead of meaning and purpose many now seek novelty; but the problem with the pursuit of novelty is that by its very nature it's transient

 

[the]

I think people mostly meet in the same traditional ways. But Now they can go find out all their secrets on fb.

 

[Apone]

I think that meeting in pubs is a European thing-- in North America I always feel like the general impression is that people in bars/clubs are mostly looking for really depressing and really transient sex.

Most people tend to meet each other at work, school or through other people. I guess it's possible to meet random strangers on buses and subways and such and I have had random conversations in those places but in a lot of places, people are too guarded/uptight about someone possibly being a 'creep' for that to work. I guess that the sad irony of that is that if the 'creeps' were better socialized, they probably wouldn't be so creepy…