Any other infj interested in Buddhism,when I was younger and a teenager I went to a therpists for adhd and depression.i was a atheist at the time and I told the therapist that and she gave me a book on global philosophy,i remember finding every page in the book so interesting,i read so many interesting religious and philsohical view points,that I developed a thrist for knowledge and finding the truth and trying to be a good person.i read so many philosophy books I eventally reached the conclusion of nihilism,and became very depressed because I was a very lost person and was in the process of absorbing all the knowledge I had gone through and how drastically it had changed my world view.i read about buddism and the four noble truths and the eight fold path as a teenager I felt like I understood very little of it,but I always said to my self the purpose of my life was to obtain nirvania and learn to understand the world and be good to others.
Eventally at the worst part of my life about 18-21 I was struggling daily just to function and lost my way I really honestly cant recall what happened during those years except I went to school and sat in the house a lot.About 21 is when I commited to undergo enormous changes and said this is enough I need to grow up and try to be a better person I need to graduate from college as soon as possible work as many hours as I can improve my social skills,learn to flirt with women and be a more open person and less closed of self absorbed.my depression steadly got better and each time I did something I would be a little bit less miserable,until I achieved most of my goals I bought and paid for a car,im graduating college next semester managed to make friends at work and college joined clubs did voulnteeer work,started reading more,got used to talking with girls getting there numbers and setting up dates stopped watching tv,started going on day trips bymyself .i reached the point where i fixed all the problems i had from high school and then reached a stage where i was obessed with personal growth and started going to life coachs reading books on self improvement etc.i was still got very upset that i was single and not in a serious relationship and don't have a mortage yet.i would feel very lifeless every time i came home and felt so miserable anytime i was alone bymyself and left with my thoughts,eventally it got to the point where i became extremely suicidal and was seriously contemplating ending my life.
i eventally said to myself this has to change you have a lot to live for even though you suffer you have to help other people and not let down your family,you don't desereve to die.i stumbled again on buddism and was reading about what the budda taught and i started medating every day for 20 mins doing visspassa medations just focusing on my breath and observing my thoughts,my mental health has gotten so much better since medating and know in my freetime instead of being miserable i read about buddism and try to follow the eight fold path and the middle way.i also practice strict vegatarism and try to find ways in my life to eliminate suffer to other beings.i have reach very blissful mental states from mediating.i have been listing to alan watts about zen buddism and im considering joining a temple once im done with college and have more freetime,so how did other buddists discover the budda and his teachings.
Eventally at the worst part of my life about 18-21 I was struggling daily just to function and lost my way I really honestly cant recall what happened during those years except I went to school and sat in the house a lot.About 21 is when I commited to undergo enormous changes and said this is enough I need to grow up and try to be a better person I need to graduate from college as soon as possible work as many hours as I can improve my social skills,learn to flirt with women and be a more open person and less closed of self absorbed.my depression steadly got better and each time I did something I would be a little bit less miserable,until I achieved most of my goals I bought and paid for a car,im graduating college next semester managed to make friends at work and college joined clubs did voulnteeer work,started reading more,got used to talking with girls getting there numbers and setting up dates stopped watching tv,started going on day trips bymyself .i reached the point where i fixed all the problems i had from high school and then reached a stage where i was obessed with personal growth and started going to life coachs reading books on self improvement etc.i was still got very upset that i was single and not in a serious relationship and don't have a mortage yet.i would feel very lifeless every time i came home and felt so miserable anytime i was alone bymyself and left with my thoughts,eventally it got to the point where i became extremely suicidal and was seriously contemplating ending my life.
i eventally said to myself this has to change you have a lot to live for even though you suffer you have to help other people and not let down your family,you don't desereve to die.i stumbled again on buddism and was reading about what the budda taught and i started medating every day for 20 mins doing visspassa medations just focusing on my breath and observing my thoughts,my mental health has gotten so much better since medating and know in my freetime instead of being miserable i read about buddism and try to follow the eight fold path and the middle way.i also practice strict vegatarism and try to find ways in my life to eliminate suffer to other beings.i have reach very blissful mental states from mediating.i have been listing to alan watts about zen buddism and im considering joining a temple once im done with college and have more freetime,so how did other buddists discover the budda and his teachings.
