Any ACOA INFJ's? | INFJ Forum



Community Member
Jan 15, 2009
3w4 SX
Hi, I am wondering if there are any other INFJ "Adult children?" In other words, adult children of alcoholics... individuals who grew up with alcoholism?

If you are unsure, please see if this fits/sounds like you:

If you didn't grow up with an alcoholic parent, you still might be an "Adult Child." ACOA says: "Some families lack the appearance of alcohol, but mimic the traits of the alcoholic family anyway. These families are referred to as "dysfunctional." If you identify your family of origin as "dysfunctional," read on. You're an ACOA too." :)

ACOA forum:

I would love to connect with other INFJ ACOA's =)
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Teeechnically. But I was so far removed from his life that I didn't grow up with it. My father and mother separated when I was around 4 or 5 and I saw my father periodically during summers. His abuse of alcohol came later, when I was probably in middle school.
Technically I'm an ACOA. A friend of mine kept bugging me to read this book about ACOAs though, to see if maybe it left some deeper problems in me, and I definitely didn't recognize myself in any of it. This despite living with an alcoholic father for most of the first two decades of my life.

I am an ACOA and I have read books on the subject but I did not identify with the characteristics of other ACOAs.
Not an INFJ. But this applies.

YES. i am both... i was recently thinking about the connections between them: how did growing up in an alcoholic family influence my personality? there is definite overlap in the characteristics of an ACOA and the descriptions of the INFJ personality.

That's me. The ACOA description sorta kinda sounds like me; more so when I was young. Much more so.

For the record, they're really nice drinkers who manage to do pretty well for themselves, despite a steady flow of alcohol -- plus some naaaasty diet pills back in the 70s, which was a nightmare. Hard-drinking, heavy socializing, ES types who somehow managed to keep it together despite that.

I don't know how I wound up being an INFJ, or if the drinking has anything at all to do with it, or even if their level of drinking qualifies as alcoholism, but yeah, I grew up with some wine-soaked, cocktail-drinking, cigar-smoking, type A, yelling, screaming partiers for parents. They've mellowed somewhat, but they still are partiers, in their 70s.