Advising others=Advising yourself? | INFJ Forum

Advising others=Advising yourself?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Raccoon Love, Feb 6, 2010.

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  1. Raccoon Love

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    I do not know how to explain this, but here I go, a lot of the times when I am advising someone on a certain issue I feel like I am advising myself..because I myself might be going through this, the irony of this is that I am fully aware of my problems because I am able to advice others on what to do in certain situations but I don't apply it to myself. I can tell someone to cheer up or to stop being depressed even I am depressed myself, I feel that I am being ironic and a bit of a hypocrite...does anyone else experience this? I wish I can come up with a better explanation really, I am just finding it hard to put my thoughts together at the moment.


     
  2. Timeless

    Timeless Community Member

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    It's all about where your focus is at.
     
  3. randomsomeone

    randomsomeone Well-known member

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    Yes, my advise tends to be a general observations that may very well apply to me at any time and I am very aware of this when I say anything. I guess the reason I do this is that I never really know how to advise someone...I just tend to travel alongside for a bit.
     
  4. forgetblueskies

    forgetblueskies Community Member

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    Helping others often makes me feel much better, too. Sometimes, the things I say to other people, I need to hear as well. So I totally understand where you're coming from.
     
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  5. Puck

    Puck Perilous Pixie
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    Story of my life, RL :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.
     
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  6. under skies

    under skies Community Member

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    Sometimes I really want to tell people to suck it up because their problems really aren't as bad as they seem to think they are, but I am one of the whiniest people on the planet. I don't vocalize my complaints, but I definitely dwell for too long on the trifling things that upset me.

    And sometimes when I am giving people advice, I can make a lot of assumptions about the way they feel based on my closest experience to the situation. That could translate to me really giving myself advice more than giving it to them.

    I mean, I don't think I do those things as often now as I used to when I was younger, but I have definitely done both of those things in the past. (And I do eventually getting around to telling myself to stop my soundless complaints. I am always aware of how ridiculous I am being.)
     
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  7. BlinkandThink

    BlinkandThink Community Member

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    Honestly, most of the people who ask me for advice (and a lot of people do this) don't have the same problems I do ... so I can't really say I'm advising both of us at the same time.

    But every once in a while, I will end up having the same problem and someone will give me the advice I already gave them ... which they have to do because I forgot what I said. And then I'm all: "Oh." :m024:
     
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  8. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    Yup.

    Or it is that I'm able to empathize because of experience; so I'm advising others as to give myself a proper, legit piece of my mind not to commit such mistakes anymore.
     
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  9. Top cat

    Top cat Permanent Fixture

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    I think the remedy could be.. if you are feeling down and want to help someone who is feeling down, instead of telling them the usual 'cheer up' and such, you can make it personal just by looking at your own situation, and telling them what you do when you are in their situation.
     
  10. Roger

    Roger ...

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    Sometimes i feel i think i advising myself. Thanks for sharing.
     
  11. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    this ^
     
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