Mentalism/Sanism

Disability etiquette is tough for a lot of "abled" people. In the states we have "Centers for Independent Living" a non-profit organization that helps people with disabilities live more independent lives. Some of them also offer training in disability etiquette, mostly for businesses but if you gave them a call and explained your scenario I'm sure they would be glad to help.

Learning disability etiquette can be tough with people with visible disabilities but it's even tougher when you're dealing with people with invisible disabilities. Even in the disability community/culture there is a lot of difficulty understanding disability etiquette when encountering people with invisible disabilities.

As a teacher, we would teach and model appropriate social behavior to kids with special needs to help them. When faced with a situation such as the one you describe, we would explain to the child how their behavior comes across, why it's inappropriate, and then teach them what is acceptable. Basically parenting but we might teach the same social skill for 10 years.

I sort of think it's like any other random person you meet. Some you like and some you don't. I don't think a person needs to be nice to a person with a disability just because they have a disability. That seems condescending to me. I might say something like, I find your questions intrusive and then see how he responds. I mean it isn't fuck off but it still gets your point across.

I have to admit there are times I haven't known I was dealing with someone with an invisible disability and I said something to the effect of get away from me. I mean just because they are disabled doesn't mean they can break the law or offend and hurt people. You've raised a really tough question that I think at some point in most people's lives they will encounter.

You don't need to tell him to fuck off but you also don't need to allow him to speak to you inappropriately. There is a way to handle it. People with disabilities are still capable of learning and understanding things. In my line of work, I try to treat people with cognitive disabilities the same as anyone else. Even people who do not communicate verbally and have a supposed IQ score of 17... I greet them and ask them how they are doing and etc. Just to be polite like I would to anyone else. I have had people ask me personal questions and I tell them it is a private matter and we cannot discuss it. I've had people try to grab me and touch me and though it scares me, outwardly, I stay calm and speak firmly and say "Please keep your hands to yourself." So far, it hasn't failed me yet... And I work with a man who has a habit of randomly grabbing and attacking people.

This is a really great question. In my daily life I do not come into contact with this much but it has happened. In general I will tolerate quite a bit from everyone. I do put a time limit on it though but I do that with everyone. If you have something you need from me (an answer) I will give it and that will be the extent of our interaction.
I think though that

I agree with acd. I don't think you need to tell them to fuck off. Just explain why you would rather not answer.

You shouldn't treat everyone the same as they are not the same. So you can let go of that idea entirely.

What one person would find difficult to understand another would be patronised by. Modify your communication to suit the person you're talking to.

If they are making you feel uncomfortable explain it to them. Not in a nasty way. There is no point telling them to fuck off. This will only teach them that you're mean. Instead teach them boundaries

There was a funny time in my life after all this group therapy, doctors and medications etc when I got completely sick of the sanity establishment and thought, why don't I just forget all of this sanity shit they're trying to sell me and go completely mad? It would have been too difficult though, I wanted the things that the establishment could offer me - safety, security, respectability, even cleanliness. It's not an easy path into madness, society needs its mad people. Sorry, hope this isn't too wacky or off topic.

Everyone is mad. You are, I am

The so called sane people are the ones who share a common madness with a large group of people

Just remember that everyone has their own flavour of insanity. Try and respect every flavour unless it involves suppressing other flavours

I do try to treat everyone the same. I am brutal on myself for not being that way or the thought of it. For instance I cringe at the idea of having two children, loving them both but knowing I like one more than the other. Perhaps because I understand them better. Its happened with something as simple as pets. Eventually you find there is one that you like better than the other.

However its simply not realistic to think or believe you can treat everyone the same. We are human and we have limitations from our ideals.

As [MENTION=472]Poetic Justice[/MENTION] mentioned we are all mad. I dont think anyone of us could survive long in this world without being mad. Our very existence is madness because it makes no sense. However I think there are levels. At the point in time you are not able to take care of yourself or have want of hurting others society needs\should step in and do what can be done to help. Unfortunately all too often that is all to little. Still, the effort needs to be attempted.