Would you have a relationship with another INFJ?
- Thread starter Ghoulia Yelps
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INFJ woman, I can't imagine it. I would definitely prefer them to have an E or a P.
However, I am currently dating an INFJ male. The emotional depth to the relationship is more than I could ever ask for, and as reading previous posts it seems to be what separates most mirror relationships.
Hmm. I think it can work.
However, I am currently dating an INFJ male. The emotional depth to the relationship is more than I could ever ask for, and as reading previous posts it seems to be what separates most mirror relationships.
Hmm. I think it can work.
In a New York second. Why? I've been in relationships with ESTP & ESTJ. Both fun, both chiseled, pulled and me out of my comfort zones like a root canal. Very painful, but rewarding. In retrospect, the first relationship, ESTP, was what I believe an answered prayer down to the first name, hairstyle, body, face and ethnicity. No joke. I believe when we met I was INxJ. I also think it was infatuation physically & emotionally. It lasted throughout our 20s-30s. Then it was over. While with her I had a dream about year prior of meeting my next love, ESTJ. I dismissed the dream, but about a year later déjà vu. The exact dream happens. I actually tried to not be with this person nor was I physically attracted to her. I do not believe in reincarnation, but it felt like I knew her for 10000 years. Perhaps this was the duality Socionics talks about. And now, that too is on its way out. In both cases, for me, it is the "S" or sensing. Yea, it grounded me, appreciated the practical side of things, etc. , but personally for me I desire to at least meet an INFJ or INTJ woman and see what that is like. In either case, we are connecting on a non-physical level. Which reminds me. During the second relationship with the ESTJ, we would pray. I felt closer to her during prayer than I ever did having sex with the ESTP first. Which I thought was not possible. Which is another reason I concluded infatuation. Infatuation or not, in my opinion, I do not think things have to end, but I have come to understand sometimes things just do. I am discovering intimacy is s a lot of things. Vague I know 
My goal now is to just be me, love my family and love humanity using my INFJ gifts and see what happens.
My goal now is to just be me, love my family and love humanity using my INFJ gifts and see what happens.
Thank you all for your replies. I have learned a few things since starting this thread, of course. I need to do a whole thread about INFJ men!!
This guy, the one I loved turned out to have actual mental health issues. I didn't want to see it at the time, because I loved him. His love was always self destructive, because what he wanted from a partner was not something which actually exists. He had an image in his head of a perfect woman, who was an angel and a goddess and the Virgin Mary, but he couldn't find it. He liked to strike up relationships with facebook profiles who looked like what he was after, but in reality, he couldn't deal with human beings who get tired, angry, ill or who piss shit and get periods. In fact, anyone who gets close to him will end up getting the door slammed on them, because no one will ever be magical and sinless. I think a lot of INFJs are like that, myself included. We probably disappointed each other. I thought that he was somebody he is not, and he wanted me to be something which doesn't exist. Basically, he lives in a little world of his own, and he's happy, because they know him there.
This guy, the one I loved turned out to have actual mental health issues. I didn't want to see it at the time, because I loved him. His love was always self destructive, because what he wanted from a partner was not something which actually exists. He had an image in his head of a perfect woman, who was an angel and a goddess and the Virgin Mary, but he couldn't find it. He liked to strike up relationships with facebook profiles who looked like what he was after, but in reality, he couldn't deal with human beings who get tired, angry, ill or who piss shit and get periods. In fact, anyone who gets close to him will end up getting the door slammed on them, because no one will ever be magical and sinless. I think a lot of INFJs are like that, myself included. We probably disappointed each other. I thought that he was somebody he is not, and he wanted me to be something which doesn't exist. Basically, he lives in a little world of his own, and he's happy, because they know him there.
I have had the same experience with my INFJ twin flame. However, seven years later we ran in to each other again and we have been inseperable ever since. It was really hard to get to this place, but we are so glad that we put in the work and managed to get through it all. He is the love of my life and now we are trying to start a family <3 It took (and still takes) a LOT of work, mostly on developing ourselves to be able to deal with our fears and having everything mirrored back, but it is so worth it!
Why not? I don't think his type matters much, though it does matter in someways but I would fall in love to his mind, soul, feelings etc. and connection & chemistry is also far more important. I don't know would his type have a big part of that but I wouldn't fall in love with his MBTI, but fall in love with him as a human being which is something much more deeper, complex and special than some MBTI type.
Hell yeah, I would. Even if only temporary.
Actually I did have one occasion and it was quite an experience. The sex alone was mind-blowing - nothing else compares really. The bottom line is that both partners have to be very mature for this to work.
Actually I did have one occasion and it was quite an experience. The sex alone was mind-blowing - nothing else compares really. The bottom line is that both partners have to be very mature for this to work.
As an INTJ, I'll answer this question in two ways, since I cannot comment on an INFJ-INFJ pairing and how it may or may not work for me.
I personally wouldn't see myself in a relationship with an INFJ. I know the INFJ-INTJ pair has worked for some, but for me I don't see it working. However, in general if the circumstances were right I could see an INFJ-INTJ pairing. It's just my personal preference. Personally, I've been in relationships with both thinkers and feelers and overall I personally seem to connect with thinkers better.
As far as an INTJ-INTJ pairing would go, I'm not quite sure I would like that either. I like being in a relationship with someone that "gets" me, like my INTP fiancé, but I don't want to date me. That would be too weird. I have a guy friend who is also an INTJ, and though we are good friends, I just don't see myself being in a relationship like that.
I've been in relationships with extroverts and introverts and I prefer introverts. I've never quite connected with sensors very well at all. They just don't "get" my sense of humor and the overall way that I think.
I think for me personally, I prefer thinkers, but I would prefer someone similar to me, but not exactly me.
I personally wouldn't see myself in a relationship with an INFJ. I know the INFJ-INTJ pair has worked for some, but for me I don't see it working. However, in general if the circumstances were right I could see an INFJ-INTJ pairing. It's just my personal preference. Personally, I've been in relationships with both thinkers and feelers and overall I personally seem to connect with thinkers better.
As far as an INTJ-INTJ pairing would go, I'm not quite sure I would like that either. I like being in a relationship with someone that "gets" me, like my INTP fiancé, but I don't want to date me. That would be too weird. I have a guy friend who is also an INTJ, and though we are good friends, I just don't see myself being in a relationship like that.
I've been in relationships with extroverts and introverts and I prefer introverts. I've never quite connected with sensors very well at all. They just don't "get" my sense of humor and the overall way that I think.
I think for me personally, I prefer thinkers, but I would prefer someone similar to me, but not exactly me.
Up until recently, I had never met an infj face to face. Now that I have, oh heck yes I would have a relationship with one. Although it could have been just this particular person and nothing to do with type at all. I'm of the mindset that mbti is not a cookie-cutter. One infj is going to be different from another, and there are many other things regarding the laws of attraction to consider as well, type not being high on the priority list. For me, anyway.
- Sep 28, 2008
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Type doesn't have too much bearing on relationships. Maturity and life direction are more key elements than anything.
That being said, I get sort of weirded out at the prospect of an INFJ-INFJ relationship honestly. Half of me feels like it's a great idea, but the other half gets too uncomfortable knowing that the person I'm with is my doppelganger in a lot of ways. It mutes that element of surprise and mystery in your day to day interactions. "So, sitting around reading and being cheery again today?" "yep" "Yep" day in and day out. Seems like a good life but I prefer a little bit of a challenge, a little bit of a fight, a little bit of discourse every now and again to keep my mind and body in check.
That's why I chose a Latina INTJ. I must be insane.
That being said, I get sort of weirded out at the prospect of an INFJ-INFJ relationship honestly. Half of me feels like it's a great idea, but the other half gets too uncomfortable knowing that the person I'm with is my doppelganger in a lot of ways. It mutes that element of surprise and mystery in your day to day interactions. "So, sitting around reading and being cheery again today?" "yep" "Yep" day in and day out. Seems like a good life but I prefer a little bit of a challenge, a little bit of a fight, a little bit of discourse every now and again to keep my mind and body in check.
That's why I chose a Latina INTJ. I must be insane.
I was in a relationship with another INFJ for six years. It seemed very magical at first, and we always had a damn near psychic connection. We were always in each other's heads. But it went south real fast because we each responded differently to the processes of our type. For her, monogamy was a waste of her ability to love while I cherish the purity of loving one person with everything I have. Her interest in humans was on an individual level, while mine is more global. We had a lot in common but the most prevalent similarity was the fervor with which we each felt our own moral code was the "right" one to live by. I understand compersion and choose to stay on as her primary out of genuine love until it became apparent that I was growing more and more resentful of her lifestyle and eventually stopped feeling the love at all. It was an amicable break up, and didn't take long at all for me to find my ideal partner in an ISTJ.
i agree that "type"really has little to do with compatable relationships. as [MENTION=14394]0utofth3b0x[/MENTION] was saying in his post, even if you have the same personality traits you may well express them in totally different ways. that's not always a bad thing, but certainly not a guarantee that you will get along better or understand each other's behaviours or motives better.
as someone who can swing both ways here is my 2c:
male infj: possibly not / definitely not.
female infj: 2 months ago, possibly not. now.. maybe to a hell yeah! met this girl
who can read my mind and think and say the same things and has the same
compassion and caring attitude for other people (and even more so than i do) and does similar things to zone out and find her own space. we are just friends, but geez she has swept me off my feet more so than any other man or woman ever has. and her smile is infectious.
male infj: possibly not / definitely not.
female infj: 2 months ago, possibly not. now.. maybe to a hell yeah! met this girl
who can read my mind and think and say the same things and has the same
compassion and caring attitude for other people (and even more so than i do) and does similar things to zone out and find her own space. we are just friends, but geez she has swept me off my feet more so than any other man or woman ever has. and her smile is infectious.
