INFP and INTJ?

I lived with an INTJ male partner for over a year. I wish you luck.. and tough skin. If he is texting you, no question, he likes you. He is low maintenance. he will at times act like he has forgotten he is in a relationship. He will put his truths and ideals above your feelings. Be prepared for that. It hit me hard, and I don't even have Fi in my functional stack.

BTW, I could rarely ever get mine to take me on dates. Lucky you.

My ex was very into me in the beginning, 3 months later he started distancing himself quite a bit. He explained it away with work, family obligations, etc., but I get the feeling he was running from his feelings. I think maybe the strong feelings he had for me made him feel "out of control." I was patient and understanding and 3 months later he broke up with me even though he says he really, really likes me and I'm 99% of what he's looking for in a wife. Nothing really changed when the distance started, it came pretty much right after he said we would be inseparable if we lived closer. We got along so well and never argued, had many of the same life goals etc. Very confusing ending but I'm sure everything happens for a reason.

I just hope that I'm lucky enough to experience another relationship where I feel so understood and accepted. I've only met 3 other people that really "got me" in my life and all 3 were girls.

Lol good luck >.<

I have been with an INTJ male for just about 5 years now. It has been rocky to say the least.. He thinks I am an ISFJ and sometimes I agree however, not consistently.

My motto is "let him come to me". The INTJ that I am with tends to need his "alone" time, which usually involves being on the computer reading, posting, playing games, or working on a project, at least once daily. When he is on the computer there can be negative reactions in his behaviour, which manifest as utter annoyance, at things like interruptions. This can become extremely frustrating because although I am an introvert myself and enjoy the time to be in my own mind.... it can drag out for hours and hours.

The display of emotion on their face and refusal to verbalize any concerns or thoughts when asked can also be frustrating. Keep in mind that there is a good probability that the reason your INTJ hasn't said anything to you about is because he is still going over it in his head. He still has to gather, organize, analyze, and interpret. Then, when he has combed through his thoughts, gathered all of his information and formed his opinions and feelings, he will share.

Everyone here is right when they say if he is texting you (without the motive to get rid of you... you would know if this were the case) then he likes you. Everyday, contentless, fluff talk is not something INTJ's like to do nor are really willing to do to make someone happy. It is too mundane for them, it is using precious time and energy that can be spent inside their heads where only they know what is happening (and from I hear/read it's some pretty cool shit). I like to get a text at least once a day just to say hey I am thinking about you... so I have figured out that if I send one text mid-day saying "Hey, How are you? *insert something about your day, something you read in the paper, something other than fluff* Hope your day is going well love you!" 9/10 I will get a response and that is enough for me to be satisfied until I see him. Sometimes if the information I provided in my text is interesting to him we will exhange a few texts and if not he doesn't say anything about it really and we move on. This is a give-take thing. I don't want to force him to do something silly like this to make me happy when I can compromise and still get what I am looking for and benefit in the long run. If you force INTJ's to disperse their energy into small things to make you happy there will be no stores left for the big things.

INTJ's are unique people and they need to be treated as such. You can learn a lot from them and really fall in love with them. They are always challenging you and and your mind. If you stick around it will be tough but be open minded, listen to him, take his advice, and once in a while don't BUT give him sound logical reason as to why not.

Getting over feeling nervous... it does not come easy AT ALL. However, it gets better.. Exercise your mind while he is exercising his. Show gratitude when he gives you his time and his attention. Most of all, don't keep anything hidden from him.. feelings, thoughts, opinions whatever... Just tell him in few words, do not repeat yourself, and be logical.

I wish you Good Luck!

I think INFP/INTJ could make a very good pair.

I have a hard time telling them apart though, so maybe it's just me. It's been on my mind for a while; how do you tell them apart?

It depends on the person really like any type, but I read the intj is probably the most independent of all. Just be yourself and be honest, then if things work out or even if they don't you'll be happier. Having quite strong intj leanings I'd say they just don't really do social rituals, birthdays/anniversaries etc. Not because they don't care, to them it's about everyday not one offs.

On the logic front you could ask him about maths and Kurt Godel. Maths is probably the most perfect example of logic and the incompleteness theorems from Kurt Godel showed that some answers are correct but could never be proven mathematically. It shows how "logic" whilst powerful is (on our current understanding) not all powerful.

can be a tough one. agree with @Little Dove that they can be a little difficult to figure out because they are not always responsive or the best communicators. They also can be quite unaware of how their behavior makes their partners feel. You have to verbalize your feelings or they can be clueless that something is bothering you. They're not much for paying attention to feelings. It can be tough for them to see things from others' point of view, but they definitely have some interesting traits, that can keep someone curious. They usually just need to be more aware and take time to value the needs and feelings of their partner.

James said:

It depends on the person really like any type, but I read the intj is probably the most independent of all.

Click to expand...

This times a thousand. They always have a plan for everything...and sometimes it annoys me how little they need anybody else.

When it comes to attraction, they are pretty secretive. If he's talking to you at all it means he likes you, also in my experience INTJ's pretty much always like INFP's. If you want him to know something though you have to be pretty blunt about it.