Edited due to Asa's new reply about things repressed:
Given the notion of parts that are good that we repress, I'm not entirely sure. I think it's difficult to recognize what you repress in yourself. I suppose it would be the things that you grew up feeling shamed about, that others might consider 'good' who knew you well. I was often told that I was too zealous or overly affectionate when I was younger. These things I've tempered (believe it or not), and choose to only demonstrate them to certain people in the amount that would be considered my 'norm'. However, I would prefer not feeling shamed for loving other people, or for telling them openly what I know to be true of them deep down. I think other people feel uncomfortable with this because they maybe aren't as open, so they use a comparative judgment and then project shame. It's happened all my life, so not really something I know how not to be wary of or to repress around most.
This touches on some of the articles I've read about the Golden Shadow –– good aspects of your personality that you were scolded or bullied to hide because they weren't appropriate in the eyes of those you were surrounded by even though they are positive aspects of your being.
In this case, you need to find the people who will support that gentler and more affectionate side of you.
Nice post Asa. In response, I see my strength is in spreading positivity in encouragement and acknowledging the strengths of others. My goal in life is to plant little seeds of goodness in the people I meet everyday or to water the flower that is already grown. In 100 years nobody will remember my name and I’m totally ok with that but if I can just enhance the lives of everyday contacts then mission accomplished.
Hello and welcome! You need a profile pic. That is a beautiful and meaningful mission. Lives of service are supposed to be the most fulfilling.
I can definitely repress that ability when I’m overwhelmed by a situation and don’t feel like it’s the right time or the person may not actually want to hear it. Its also tied to my own current mental health. If I’m living in the future and worrying about all the upcoming problems then sometimes I don’t feel like I have the presence of mind to use that side of myself. If I’ve had too much contact with aggressive types then that side of me can also go into hiding.
Hmmm, I'm going to suggest the same advice I suggested to
@Anomaly: avoid the aggressive types. Find your people.
If you can't avoid them, create space with bravery and confidence. If you give off the attitude that you can't be f-cked with, you'll be granted the room to be a gentler person.
I hung with aggressive types most of my life and it doesn't get easier to be your softer, kinder self until you create that gap. Sometimes a physical gap isn't possible, so being brave and confident about the traits you want to encourage in yourself also acts as a gap.
Augustine did put a lot of effort into making public his struggles with his dark side, which is one of the many reasons why he is such a remarkable guy.
I don't know much about saints. Is this St. Augustine of Hippo? Is St. Augustine, Florida also named for him? I want to read more about him.
The echoes that come back from my projections, and which I find set me resonating within, seem to be touching at least a part of the spot. It's so hard to disentangle it from my dark shadow stuff though and see what is actual potential, and what is just wishful thinking.
Hmmmm. I think you are selling yourself short by labeling anything potentially golden as "wishful thinking".
What they all embody is an experience of the divine, and that is something I too, in my own small way and clouded by my dark side, have experienced deep within me - and that too I project, not just onto these special people, but onto the whole world. I guess that is the heart and soul of my creativity - but I'm really just an amateur.
Again, I don't perceive you as an amateur. I can make an educated guess that others on the forum do not, either. You're more like the people you admire than you recognize. The nature of this spiritual life, though, is to keep wandering and keep seeking. You may never feel like you are "there" but to others, you are far more "there" than you realize and we appreciate you for that.
