My first 'love' was in Year 2 (7 years old). I remember collecting leaves in the school playground in Autumn with her. She got me a box of assorted erasers and I still remember it... sigh. She then went to a different Primary SchooI
But she joined us again in Secondary School but we were no longer friends (partly because I had become a recluse, introverted geek). She used to stand-up for me when I used to get bullied though. I last saw her a couple of years ago as she passed me by; we said hello.
She doesn't know I loved her but I think we did have a bond; just the way she used to look at me. I guess no words were required. I think about her a couple of times a month.
My first crush on a boy was in Year 6 in Primary School (11 Years old). He never knew I loved him either. I last time saw him about 10 years ago. There was something about how he looked at me too. But we'd never dare say anything in those days, nor do I think we understood what was going on.
I think about him at least several times a month.
After a bouncy 20s, my first 'proper' love came when I was 30 and he actually knew I loved him, haha. He broke up with me mid-last year, mostly for reasons I completely understand and I wish him nothing but happiness and pure love. We always said we'd be friends and we're either in the transition of becoming friends or it's the end of the end. We only communicate via texts (I un-followed him immediately after the breakup on social media, although I snoop on his Instagram to see how he is:/ ). I'm still deciding if I should keep him or let him go.
I think about him every day.
I never want to be in a relationship with him again, but I know I will always care for him and want to know how he is doing. And although I wont tell him this directly out of fear of being seen as needy or being taken for granted, I will do anything for his happiness.