You find out your partner has cheated... | Page 5 | INFJ Forum

You find out your partner has cheated...

What do you do?

  • Stay

    Votes: 8 24.2%
  • Leave

    Votes: 25 75.8%

  • Total voters
    33
You are what you are
 
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I have kind of mixed reactions to this -- on the one hand, I don't really have a concept of 'cheating' in that I do not treat relationships and friendships as different things.

On the other, exactly that idea makes me think if 'cheating' is a synonym for betrayal, *almost always* I'd think there's no point to the friendship. I am not big on 'forgiving' so much as I am big on understanding. I will give a lot of room for people to explain their actions, but there has to be at least agreement on what the fundamental ethical principles are.

However, it's very important to be sure it really is the sort of clearly deliberated, knowing, fully non-impulsive sort of thing. My usual attitude for things that are more careless mistakes than true uncaring is that I will not trust the person to not be careless in the future, but I might not look down on the person's character.

I am big on privacy, so that's a good example -- it's possible someone is bad at keeping things private and blabbed something impulsively. In such cases, I'd usually advise both parties should agree, for their own good, the person ought not to be given high-risk info.
 
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If it's something serious then I'd leave. I wouldn't be able to handle that heavy feeling of betrayal. It would just destroy me.

On the other hand if it's just someone maybe giving a compliment to my lady or something in that area then I'd probably be ok.
 
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Loyalty is an emotion. Pathological Narcissism has no empathy and can't understand complex emotions like loyalty therefore "it" are known as cheaters and will never be loyal.

I have no idea what you are saying here
 
I have no idea what you are saying here
Just a reference to yes, INFJ know what loyalty is.. I'm new here and I thought quoting someone is the only way to reply on a post..but I see I can chime in now without quoting someone. My statement is simply referring to loyalty as what it is... an emotion and that the reason why personality disorders cheat because they lack or have no empathy ergo will always be cheaters and not loyal (cause it's an emotion people with empathy understand it, PD are absolutely clueless about it) cause they will never change.
 
Just a reference to yes, INFJ know what loyalty is.. I'm new here and I thought quoting someone is the only way to reply on a post..but I see I can chime in now without quoting someone. My statement is simply referring to loyalty as what it is... an emotion and that the reason why personality disorders cheat because they lack or have no empathy ergo will always be cheaters and not loyal (cause it's an emotion people with empathy understand it, PD are absolutely clueless about it) cause they will never change.

Gotcha, thanks!
 
Just a reference to yes, INFJ know what loyalty is.. I'm new here and I thought quoting someone is the only way to reply on a post..but I see I can chime in now without quoting someone. My statement is simply referring to loyalty as what it is... an emotion and that the reason why personality disorders cheat because they lack or have no empathy ergo will always be cheaters and not loyal (cause it's an emotion people with empathy understand it, PD are absolutely clueless about it) cause they will never change.
Actually I wouldn't say they're absolutely clueless because it understand it on an intellectual level and can fake it...it just can't feel it