Old School Vs New school....is there hope? | INFJ Forum

Old School Vs New school....is there hope?

StRoNgO

StRoNgO

Regular Poster
Jan 18, 2019
114
369
932
earth
MBTI
not infj
I am an older millennial, but i was raised very old school. I have no social media of any kind. This site is all i have besides an email address.
Being a male INFJ has been a life full of disappointment in terms of relationships. Women are not approachable, and look at me like a freak. How do people get into dating using social media and dating apps. how can you connect? Some one please explain what i am missing.

Every relationship i have ever had, which is not very many. The woman has approached me. and they have always been older women. Ive never dated any one my own age or younger. Really sucks, cause i want to have kids sometime soon. I feel like i am getting old.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ginny, Asa, jn56uytrx and 3 others
Man, you've got to get your act together if you want your choice of a partner and don't want to settle for what you don't want.

That means having a good financial position.

That means having a good reputation.

That means having good health and fitness.

In the words of my love Ariana, "Whoever said money can’t solve your problems
Must not have had enough money to solve ’em"

You'll meet women in the process of improving yourself, don't sweat it- take life by the horns.

You've got it fam.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Zola, Ginny, jn56uytrx and 1 other person
You are going to have to ask yourself if it is even worth it given the times we are living in and it has gotten to where for some it is not worth the trouble at all. There are some bad apples out there that will go out of their way to take advantage of men like yourself where instead of a relationship you end up paying child support plus whatever else.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ginny, jn56uytrx, StRoNgO and 1 other person
Roses In The Vineyard said:
You are going to have to ask yourself it is even worth it given the times we are living in and it has gotten to where for some it is not worth the trouble at all. There are some bad apples out there that will go out of their way to take advantage of men like yourself where instead of a relationship you end up paying child support plus whatever else.
Click to expand...
giphy.gif
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Ginny and jn56uytrx
First off, what are you looking for and what is not clicking with you and other millennials? In other words, how do you see yourself as different from other people your age? Give an example of when you've experienced that disconnect with someone?

I can definitely relate. I often feel I'm a mix of generations or in between generations. I feel very minimal compatibility between myself and most in or outside my age group, give or take 5-10 years.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wyote, Ginny, jn56uytrx and 4 others
StRoNgO said:
I am an older millennial, but i was raised very old school. I have no social media of any kind. This site is all i have besides an email address.
Being a male INFJ has been a life full of disappointment in terms of relationships. Women are not approachable, and look at me like a freak. How do people get into dating using social media and dating apps. how can you connect? Some one please explain what i am missing.

Every relationship i have ever had, which is not very many. The woman has approached me. and they have always been older women. Ive never dated any one my own age or younger. Really sucks, cause i want to have kids sometime soon. I feel like i am getting old.
Click to expand...

Hey there!

So being a girl in my early-twenties, I don’t use dating apps—I used to, but I hate them and only had mostly failed dates than successful ones so I stopped using them for more than a year. I unfortunately do have social media (Snapchat and Facebook; and Instagram which I don’t use at all anymore), but I haven’t been on social media as much due to its shallowness and just only use it to reach out towards family and friends. It can be tough wanting an ideal relationship and have old-school traditions due to this unrealistic, materialistic perspective in this society and age.

One thing I can suggest is this app called MeetUp. Which is basically a group meeting app that accommodates to your own personal interests and hobbies. If you enjoy rock climbing or hiking, you can search for local clubs or organizations that offer those sorts of events.

I haven’t used it personally but my friends have found good success with it when it comes to making new friends and/or potential relationships.

Wish you best of luck friend!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Krypton, Zola, Wyote and 5 others
Gaze said:
First off, what are you looking for and what is not clicking with you and other millennials? In other words, how do you see yourself as different from other people your age? Give an example of when you've experienced that disconnect with someone?

I can definitely relate. I often feel I'm a mix of generations or in between generations. I feel very minimal compatibility between myself and most in or outside my age group, give or take 5-10 years.
Click to expand...
Gaze, its in every aspect, every one is so materialistic and narcissistic. The last date i had, I went out for sushi with a girl i met at the gym. from the second i picked her up to the time i took her home, she was taking photos and taking small recordings to put on her instaCrap! She had nothing to talk about other than peoples business, i am not from here where I'm currently living, i don't really know any one, and could care less about their personal business.
I was fortunate enough to be born in indigent circumstances, Meaning i grew up poor as fuck. with drug addict parents. As weird as it sounds i like relating to people who have a similar back ground, i fined a lot of humor in my child hood.
Total disconnect, its been this way for me for some time now.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wyote, Gaze, Ginny and 2 others
Roses In The Vineyard said:
You are going to have to ask yourself if it is even worth it given the times we are living in and it has gotten to where for some it is not worth the trouble at all. There are some bad apples out there that will go out of their way to take advantage of men like yourself where instead of a relationship you end up paying child support plus whatever else.
Click to expand...
trust me ive been very cautious my entire life, I'm far from a typical idiot that chases a girl just for her smiling at me, or if she makes intimate advances to me. Its actually a huge turn off.

Where are all the Old school women my age? LoL
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wyote, Gaze, Ginny and 1 other person
Pin said:
Man, you've got to get your act together if you want your choice of a partner and don't want to settle for what you don't want.

That means having a good financial position.

That means having a good reputation.

That means having good health and fitness.

In the words of my love Ariana, "Whoever said money can’t solve your problems
Must not have had enough money to solve ’em"

You'll meet women in the process of improving yourself, don't sweat it- take life by the horns.

You've got it fam.
Click to expand...
I've got everything covered my dude in this aspect of self improvement, it gets better by the day.

Answer me this. Why would you settle for any person that is going to view you as a convenience?
Shallow is the waters my friend.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wyote, Gaze, Ginny and 2 others
This thread is Not meant for me per say, as some poor pitiful me, i cant find a woman. Its meant to shed some light on the fact that life as we know it is becoming more difficult by the day. Society is at a down fall......in my opinion. We need solutions.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wyote, Wildfire, Gaze and 3 others
StRoNgO said:
trust me ive been very cautious my entire life, I'm far from a typical idiot that chases a girl just for her smiling at me, or if she makes intimate advances to me. Its actually a huge turn off.

Where are all the Old school women my age? LoL
Click to expand...

By that age what few there are have already been taken up and what remaining there might be never put themselves on the market. For old souls it only gets worse because the quality isn't there at all anymore as modern society stripped it all out through indoctrination in the schools and media.
 
  • Like
Reactions: jn56uytrx
StRoNgO said:
I've got everything covered my dude in this aspect of self improvement, it gets better by the day.

Answer me this. Why would you settle for any person that is going to view you as a convenience?
Shallow is the waters my friend.
Click to expand...
Well, you've got to convenient for each other. That's partnership. It's not healthy to be doing all of the giving or all of the taking.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: just me, Ginny and StRoNgO
Hi, Strongo!

Pin is right: If you work on self improvement you'll meet people in the process. Even better, people who are a better fit for you will be more attracted to you.

I haven't seen very many successful long-term relationships come out of dating apps. Most of my friends who use apps like Tinder just get heart broken or disappointed over and over again.
Try joining in some activities where you can meet people who share your interests. I know that is obvious, but it worked for people before the internet.

It's true people are different now. There are endless possibilities available online, so as soon as people hit a wrinkle they give up on potential relationships and look for something more 'ideal'... and everyone on the internet is so shiny and pretty.
So, that said, maybe continuing your search off-line is best.

I wouldn't say "life as we know it is more difficult". It actually seems the opposite to me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wyote, Sloe Djinn, Ginny and 2 others
Are you looking to meet a conventionally physically attractive woman who has those personal qualities? The reason you find them in older women is because they're a marker of maturity. Shallow people were around before social media and online dating. If I were to give advice, I would suggest looking for the seeds rather than shoots of the qualities you imagine will one day be in full bloom in the mother of your children - most likely when they're grown up.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wyote, Gaze, Sloe Djinn and 1 other person
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back