Recent content by uuu | INFJ Forum

Recent content by uuu

  1. uuu

    [INFJ] What did you learned from each failed relationship?

    In no particular order: If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, that is probably not a sign that you are judgmental and need to be more open minded, and more likely a sign that you should not get in a relationship with this person. Regard love bombing with suspicion. Regard identity-based...
  2. uuu

    Does anyone else feel like Introverts are slowly gaining an upper hand these days?

    I think any meaningful conversation about introversion and extroversion needs to disentangle the two kinds of extroversion discussed here: https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/MIES/results.php Basically, one way of being extroverted is "I enjoy being around others and derive energy from their...
  3. uuu

    Setting boundaries with alcoholic family

    Ugh. I realize I forgot to follow up on how this went—objectively, it went well. She was on "good behavior" for the few days of my visit and we were able to have some difficult conversations about our different communication styles and my boundaries when it comes to her asking questions about...
  4. uuu

    Setting boundaries with alcoholic family

    Peace is important to me, but so is my mom's wellbeing. I can make some, but not unlimited, allowances for her.
  5. uuu

    Setting boundaries with alcoholic family

    This is a good question. I'm trying to be clear-eyed about this. The truth is that when I say "quality time," I am speaking from her perspective. She is very insecure about the idea that she might be a "bad mother" and she often speaks with great anxiety about friends of hers who have a poor...
  6. uuu

    Setting boundaries with alcoholic family

    Thanks, all. :relaxed: We found a concert at a local Catholic church that (I assume) will be a dry event. So that takes care of one night, at least. We are having dinner with some of her friends on another night. I'm curious to see how they react to her drinking and if they are similar or not...
  7. uuu

    Setting boundaries with alcoholic family

    Consider me open to suggestions... I realize that I really don't know what my mom is into at anymore. When I was young she liked gardening and going to concerts. Nowadays she still does both, but much lesd of the gardening, and the concerts seem like just another drinking venue. She loves fine...
  8. uuu

    Setting boundaries with alcoholic family

    Ugh. I posted in the local reddit asking about restaurants that don't serve drinks and got a snide reply reminding me that alcohol is how restaurants make a profit and saying I should just not order alcohol if I don't want to. This reminds me of a time (in Europe) when I ordered a fruit juice...
  9. uuu

    Setting boundaries with alcoholic family

    I'm not sure if going no contact is on the table at this point. I am financially independent and live in another state, and our relationship is fine at a distance—we talk on the phone for an hour every week, and in the morning when I know she is still sober. It's only the in-person visits that...
  10. uuu

    Setting boundaries with alcoholic family

    Over the past several years I have come to the realization that my mom is a functioning alcoholic. I have always parroted her excuses ("I am a health care professional and know what alcoholism is" and "I am a grown adult and can do whatever I want") to myself but I find her very difficult to...
  11. uuu

    INFJ use of spatial thinking in the abstract?

    This is interesting, reminds me of a post I saw on Tumblr maybe where this guy said that until he was in high school or college or so, he never had an "inner monologue" but instead his internal conscious experience was just a continuous flow of ideas, shapes, and concepts. And then once he...
  12. uuu

    INFJ and holidays

    No idea what is going on in the comments above, but are we talking about holidays as in Christmas, Independence Day etc. or holidays as in vacations? I think both suck, lol I have an upcoming psuedo-holiday where I will be visiting my hometown for a little more than a week as I move to a new...
  13. uuu

    basics of non-violent communication

    Read the whole book, and I've been trying to put it into practice as much as I can. Actually, I used it to follow up with some close friends about a situation last week where I made some glib, offensive remarks, and it was an opportunity for me to open up about my need for acceptance and how I...
  14. uuu

    basics of non-violent communication

    After seeing @aeon recommend the MBR book several times over the past week (and apparently he has been quite consistent in his recommendations!), I started reading it the other day. I was surprised to see many passages that I have already seen screencapped and reposted on social media—the format...
  15. uuu

    To edit a post, there is an edit button in the bottom left of the post when you are looking at...

    To edit a post, there is an edit button in the bottom left of the post when you are looking at it. On mobile, I think you have to click "post options" or "more options" or something like that first.