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- Jun 3, 1989 (Age: 30)
- Infantry, National Gaurd
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Community Member, 30
- Ortorin was last seen:
- Oct 24, 2013
- Jun 3, 1989 (Age: 30)
- Infantry, National Gaurd
- In the begining, there were two drunk and stoned cranaveal workers fucking in the back of a semi-truck. Nine months later, an unwanted child was born.
During the time that I was still in the womb, I was a very active little fetus and my mother had a hard time sleeping with me kicking around so much. She would smoke a joint a night so that I would calm down enough that she could go to sleep.
After my birth, there was alot of strain put on to my parents by me, financialy, and in their relationship. My mother turned into a crack whore and pulled whatever trick she needed to to get her next fix. After my father found out about this, he tried to work things out because he loved me very much, but she ended up leaving him.
She ended up getting off the crack and meet up with my first ex-stepdad, Stevie. I grew up knowing Stevie as my dad, and my reall dad as "Mark-Daddy" due to the fact that my mother didn't want me to really know my father.
Cue first memories as a child at about 3-4 years old. Stevie was an abusive basterd to my mother, allways hitting her, me, and my two brothers that the two of them shared, Josh, who was about 2 at the time and Andrew who was just born.
We lived with Stevie's parent's, people I still know as my grandparents to this day, who were also abusve pot-headed basterds. During this time, I was allways looking out for my little borthers, not wanting them to get hurt, taking the blame for things they did so they were spared from the punishment, also trying to step between Stevie and my mother whenever he got violent, causeing me to get thrown around like a rag doll.
The next few years passed by the same, pot allways around me and my brothers and abuse on a nearly daily basest. I was allready growing up at a pace faster then I should have, being a very bright kid. I went into kindergarden allready knowing how to tie my shoes, count to 100, my ABC's and how to read and write my own name. While other kids were being stupid little brats like they are, I was making full tessalations out of geometric blocks (even though I didn't know what it was back then).
The two got married for whatever reason, and my little sister was born when I was about six and a half. Not long after that my mother started cheating on Stevie with some homeless guy that squated in an abandoned house. Just after I turned 7, and my little sister wasn't even 1 yet, the homeless guy convinced my mother to leave with him over night and she left to become a trucker.
She left all of us in this abusve house litteraly overnight. She told me "goodnight" one night, and was gone the next morning. I hated her for this soo much, I'm a mamma's boy, and this distroyed me like no other. To add the straw that broke the horse's back, I had to leave my brothers and sister to live with my dad because he was the only other legal gardian I had.
This is what killed me the most... leaveing my brothers and sister. I loved them soo much, looked after them and helped take care of them. I had changed andrew's diper many times before, and my little sister Erin's becuse of the idiot "grown-ups" that lived with us couldn't take care of us all the way we need to. They were my life, my rock, the only reason I stayed sane at the time, and they were striped away from me because of what my mom did.
I developed a intense anger directed at all women at this time. My dad had a girlfriend he later married and is still together with that I treated like shit. Hated my teacher and any other woman I came in contact with.
I don't remember very much about this time when I was 8-9, but of what I do remember: It was the first time I tryed smoking ciggerates, acted in a sexual matter with some black girl down the street, wrote "Fuck" all over everything, and beat the shit out of kids in the school. The shcool put a desk in the office just for me to sit at and do my work because I couldn't be around the other students without getting in trouble and trying to strangle them with my belt, or slamming staples into their back, or simple tying to kick their teeth in.
I soon found out that my mother had ended up in Georga living with another man. I went to see her on summer vaction and ended up staying...
The man she was with at this time was named Rick. He was in the Eplosive Ordance Disposial with the United States Army. He grew up in a very strict household and with his millitary background made him a very strict person himself. Have so many attitude problems at this point, he saw that he needed to correct them.
His favorite form of punishment was to make me stand in the cornor for HOURS at end. I would stand there for 2,3,4 up to 7 hours sometimes if I did something really bad. Left me with an intense fear of not knowing what time it was for a long time becasue of that. His second favorite punishment (and the one that I prefured) was to belt my bare ass untill it was black and blue. (at least it was over quickly)
After only a year with him, my mother married him making him my second ex-stepdad. He was abusive to her in a diffrent way then Stevie, he ignored her most of the time and gave her the silent treatment whenever she did something he didn't like. This drove my mother crazy, and hurt her very deeply.
At about 9-10 years-old, we moved down to Ft. Benning Georga and lived on base. Things continued the same way untill I was done with my 8th grade year. Around that time, my mother couldn't stand being with Rick anymore and started cheating on him with an Infantryman named Bryant.
Soon after, me, her, and Bryant moved to Indiana where he had family when he got his medical discharge from the Army.
Now Bryant was actualy a really cool guy, only about 10 years older then me, we hung out alot, he was never abusive to me or my mother. His big problem was that he was lazy as hell and couldn't keep a job.
When he finaly got a good job, it was doing construction work that paid really well, but made it where he had to be gone most of the week. My mother couldn't handle being alone like that and started cheating on him when he was gone, sometimes bring a diffrent person home every night.
She ended up leaving him for a transvestite named Stephane (I couldn't make this shit up). I never knew him/her all that much because they didn't stay together for long.
During the time that she was with Bryant though, I had had two diffrent girlfriends, Victora, which didn't last long, and Cori, which was about 3 months. I broke up with Cori when I felt like it wasn't working anymore, being a blubbering mess when I did. The very next year, the begining of my junor year, a friend that Cori and I shared said something to me that fucked me up for quite awhile.
She made a comment one lunch break about me and her breaking up, saying that all my problems where all my fault. I had a mental breakdown over this. How could everything be my fault... there has been soo much shit in my life and I caused it all???
I was so fucked up from this thought that I had to leave school for a whole semester. I couldn't handle being around groups at the time, I could FEEL all the people around me, I allways felt very scared and closed in.
I started seeing a shrink that was of NO help. After about 2-3 weeks talking to her, she broke down crying when I told her about my childhood in great detail (alot more detail then I've put here). I relized that someone that was crying over my life, when I wasn't even crying, couldn't help me any with my problems, so I stoped going, and started getting better by myself.
Around this time, I meet the person that both saved and damned me, Sabrina.
Sabrina came at the perfect point in my life. I was still recovering from my mental breakdown, and she made everything better. This girl feel head-over-heels for me, and I for her. She was my first true love.
After four months together, we lost our virginties to each other, and proceeded into a very sexual relationship. I thought everything was perfect, I thought SHE was perfect, I even proposed to her after about 10 months. When our one year was growing near, I found out something that changed all of that.
I found messages she had been sending to a guy about how much she wanted to be with him, and him with her. After I presented this to her, she confessed that she had been cheating on me for about half of our relationship and promptly left me for him.
I don't remember ever crying that hard in my whole life.
She kept me yo-yoing for about three months where I was trying to get back together with her. She would tell me she wanted to be with me, yet never follow through. It broke my heart again every time.
I then went on to date alot of diffrent girls, having sex with about every other one, never staying in a relationship for long. I couldn't take how my life was at the time so I moved up to Michigan with my dad, stepmom, and their son (my half brother) Darian.
My stepmother hated me for how I was when I was little, so she made my life hell, so I quickly moved back down to Indiana to live with my best friend at the the time. But I fucked that up when I started sleeping with his girlfriend... and I had to leave.
At that time I met my second greatest love (and biggest curse) in my life, Colleen. I was 18, and she was 14 at the time... yah I know, bad right? I couldn't help the fact that I feel in love with her though.
She was/is addicted to pot, pills, and drank alot, but I continualy overlooked that because I wanted to be with her. She had an ex-boyfriend that hang over the entire relationship, she was still compleatly in love with him, yet she claimed the same for me.
We had a falling out after a few months, and the next day I joined the National Guard as an Infantryman because I felt that there was nothing else in Indiana that tied me down to the area. Though shortly after, we got back together and life was better then ever.
Near when I had to ship to BASIC training, I was around her all the time, compleatly in bliss. I even walked 15 miles in the blowing snow to come see her because of how much I loved her at the time.
I shiped out, did my training. Training wasn't all that hard once I got use to it. The only part that ever sucked was when I found out Colleen had cheated on me while I was away. Made me fall out of the foot march that we had the next day because I could not get my head into it.
I got back, tryed to continue staying with her, but couldn't handle it and left her. I hooked up with my highschool crush who was married at the time (her husband was away at BASIC training for the National Guard... ain't I nice?) and me and her blew all of the $15,000 that I got from the millitary on stupid shit.
When We had a falling out because I still wasn't over Colleen, I had even cheated on the crush with Colleen, and 2 other of my ex's (one of the others being Sabrina of all people).
I had to move to Michigan with my dad again because I was broke and had no where to live anymore.
Things were fine for a long time at my dad's. I just ignored my stepmom and she didn't get to me anymore. After this last winter though, when my did and I didn't have the abllity to work much because of the weather, she got my dad to kick me out.
I lived with some friends for about a month untill that failed. Went back to my dad's for about 3 days, then proceeded to leave in the middle of the night because I was in a deep depression and the only thing I could think of to fix it was to leave again.
During this whole time, I was on again, off again with Colleen. I didn't fully break up with her 'till about 3 days ago.
I hitchedhicked the 600 something miles back down to Indiana to live with another group of friends. Eventualy though, that failed too and the millitary was screaming at me to come back to Michigan because I have an obblilgation with the Guard.
Which brings me to now. I'm trying to find a job while I'm living out of my unit's headquarters (I'm using a computer there right now) so that I can get out on my own.
Way too many to list!
Signature"If you gotta live life, might as well enjoy it." Me!
Please pay no attention to any misspellings in my post... I don't have a spell checker, and I suck at spelling in general, nice combo huh?