Discussion in 'The INFJ Typology' started by INTJMom, Jan 9, 2010.

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  1. I'm trying to decide if my mom is ISFJ or INFJ.

    What do you think are the main differences to look for?

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  2. INFJ and ISFJ are similar in the way that they often base their judgement similarly, their decision making processes are quite similar because they both share Fe and Ti, how about how they perceive the world is completly different making the 2 types often misunderstand each other, to give you an idea ISFJ's lead with a sensing function and have their intuitive function last, INFJ's lead with their intuitive function and have their sensing function last(this of course applying to the average INFJ), not only this but INFJ's have Ni and Se while ISFJ's use Si and Ne, what this results in is the way we view things can be quite different. an INFJ is very future oriented while an ISFJ might be focused mainly on present tasks, the idealism of an INFJ and well grounded nature of an ISFJ can be conflicting, INFJ's tend to be complex, imaginative etc while an ISFJ tends to be more practical, INFJ's are not the biggest fond on traditions while you may find some ISFJ's greatly following them, INFJ's tend to focus a lot on genral concepts and the main picture sometimes missing to much on obvious details while ISFJ's might focus to much on the details and forget the main idea, ISFJ's tend to rely more on past experiences then INFJ's, ISFJ's also tend to be overall easier to read and understand then an is all I can think of for now, hope this helped :)
    #2 Raccoon Love, Jan 9, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2010
  3. It's going to be hard to tell by just external apperances. Both more or less respond the same way when approached. ISFJ's and INFJ's are really really similar when it comes to interacting with friends and everyone else. This is because of Secondary Fe. They also both appear to be adversed to any kind of sudden or sharp change, because of Ne and Se being inferior resectivly. Telling apart Si and Ni is really easy to do on paper. In person, this is actually really tricky. Both are internal processes, and you have to pull out the persons internal processes to tell. This is hard for ISFJ's because they are notoriously bad at explaining how they feel and think inside. In some cases, they will tell you it is impossible, and they arent lying either. INFJ's are similar. They often have a hard time explaining how the feel and think inside. The tell tale sign though, for me at least, is if you are able to get the person talking. INFJ's once given the right level of coaxing are able to open up slightly, and explain things to you. In some cases they wont stop doing so.

    Both are also really passive and adversive to conflict, so both will try to mediate situations that have gone bad. The difference is how they do it. ISFJ's will do it in such a way to try to make the other people around you look worse then you. INFJ's will try to make you feel better about yourselfs. Both will try to reason what the other person has done wrong, but INFJ's tend to be much more sympathetic about both sides.

    This is also not easy for people to do, but INFJ's and ISFJ's actually have pretty different "feels" to them. That feeling you just get by viewing a photograph.

    Hope this helps.
    INTJMom likes this.
  4. Whenever I'm flummoxed by someone's type, I start watching temperament first - and NFs and SJs have quite noticeable differences, like the above. :)

  5. ahh very true as well lol, mostly all of my reasons are internal and are hard to really see in a person which is why they might be so much confusion.
    #5 Raccoon Love, Jan 9, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2010
  6. Here's a quick way you might be able to find out. I'm using the best (from what I see) of the ISFJ vs the worst (from what I've experienced) of the INFJ. This might help you.

    An ISFJ-type is incredibly detail-oriented and sees all details up front. They will respond based on the five senses for the most part. ISFJs make fantastic executive assistants, accountants, and bankers. They are good at doing what they're told to, to precision, as long as they don't need to come up with an original idea for it. And they will follow instructions *well*. They won't be thinking about changing the status quo. If something works, ISFJs will stick to the plan.

    An INFJ-type on the other hand needs to take in all the information. They might be slower to respond when a lot of details are thrown at them at once because they need to know *why* they're doing the job they're doing. INFJs are always looking at the bigger picture; the meaning behind the story. INFJs probably make lousy executive secretaries in highly stressful jobs (*ahem, me*). They must have time to think ahead, and they must have time to process everything before heading towards a new crisis. You can't give them too much at once or they'll shut down.
  7. Heh, this is true for me. I work as a desk clerk in one of the dorms at school. My two bosses are ISTJ (the RD), and ESFJ (the PA). I find it very interesting that everyone that I have tested with MBTI at work, are all SJ's. It is as if my bosses sniff them out like magic. Then there is me. They love me and concider me one of their best workers, but I constantly freak out when I am to overloaded (10 drunks coming in at once? oy vey!). They also don't know that I bend protocol a lot, and make it work. I never break it though. I also explain in detail, to people when I have to enforce a rule, espically if I don't agree with it. That's proof that I am an INFJ with strong Si.
  8. We're trying to decide if my mom was INFJ or ISFJ.

    My mom was a walking encyclopedia. When I was a kid, I NEVER had to look up anything. I could just ask my mother about it, and she would know... mostly on the subject of history... wars, royalty, etc. She would sit up in bed and read encyclopedias - recreationally - because she ENJOYED it. She knew the dates of historical events.

    She loved to do crossword puzzles.

    She studied the family history and knew the dates of birth, death and marriage of all her ancestors and usually aunts and uncles and cousins, too. I'm serious. One of my kids had to do a family tree to four generations and she had her side and my father's side memorized. She didn't have to look any of it up.

    When she was young she knew the words to a thousand songs. She wrote them down in scrapbooks. She made photo scrapbooks with pictures and captions. She loved books in general... especially if they were antique.

    She grew up during the Great Depression.

    She loved antiques especially if they were ornate, and stone and castles and mountains. She collected valuable coins.

    When she worked in a shoe factory, she said she was the fastest worker in her section. She seems to be competitive. She did exquisite handiwork with fine stitching and when she got older invested much time making quilts and other types of special blankets... heirlooms to pass on to her grandchildren.

    She was extremely generous... sacrificing and saving up so she could be very generous to her kids and grandkids.

    When I was little and I disobeyed her, she became vicious... name-calling, hair-pulling, hitting etc. She loved to make people afraid of her... she used to brag about it.

    She was so intuitive she was almost psychic.
    My sister thinks she was an N.

    I think she was an S because she never understood me.
    She wanted me to "pretend" I was happy.
    She seemed to be all about keeping up appearances.

    And her memory was so incredibly outstanding.
    I just don't believe N's have a memory like that.

    For years, I thought she was an ISTJ because she was so mean to me,
    but when I asked her, she thought she was an F.
    Oh, and whenever I wanted to do something but she didn't want me to,
    she would say, "Give me ten good reasons."
    Those of you who are Ni Dominant know what a nightmare such a statement can be.
    Ten! I couldn't even think of three!

    It's just the N or S we're not sure about.

    Is there anyone here who thinks my mom was an INFJ?
  9. Shes an very inteligent ISFJ, with a decent Ni.
  10. ^^Agreed. The names, dates, places, memory for facts and figures is usually heavily Si. She loved scrapbooks and the past and antiquing - not to say that an INFJ wouldn't enjoy some of those things, but we do it for fun; ISFJs do it more for prosperity and tradition's sake, for their kids to remember and carry on the memory.

    She sounds very ISFJ to me. Disobedience can an issue with SJs as well - they usually want order, and if you don't do it the way they want you to they get upset with you. They think you do it on "purpose."
  11. She would yell at me "Why?" did I do some particular thing she didn't like.
    I would say "I don't know"
    She would start insulting my intelligence.
    Intelligence is a big thing for her.

    So INFJs might LOVE antiques too then?

    Do they have a physical reaction to things they hate?
    Saxophone music makes her throw up.
  12. Really simple.

    INFJs focus on the future.

    ISFJs focus on the past.
  13. she sounds isfj to me
  14. If it's really that simple, then I would say she focuses more on the past.
    She talks about the past 90% of the time.
  15. INFJs would love antiques for other reasons than an ISFJ would. We would look at it for beauty's sake, and that's about it. If it doesn't touch us on an emotional level, then we really wouldn't care about it. Like me, I love 1800s Amish bathrooms and clawfoot tubs because I love the look and feel of it, and it evokes a mood in me. It has nothing to do with the past, in my opinion. I just like the look of it.

    I never had a physical reaction to something I hated. I think that's very, very Si or Se. If I have a physical reaction to something (which I do) I don't know why I'm reacting to it. Like old Mad Magazine comics and my father's old National Lampoon magazines gave me headaches, but I didn't know why...and even today I can't watch violent anime programs because I react the same way. Why? I couldn't tell you.

    As far as getting angry with you when you said "I don't know"... that might have been your Mom. That could be an issue she needed to work out. She might've recognized your intelligence, but assumed you *should* know. Or, she might have felt intimated because you were actually smarter than her in some areas and she didn't like that feeling.
    #15 arbygil, Jan 10, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2010
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