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Thread: What does it mean to "stand up for yourself"?1683 days ago

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    Gone trekking with Bilbo Baggins pics's Avatar
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    What does it mean to "stand up for yourself"?

    This idea came from a comment in the thread on submissiveness.

    What does it mean to "stand up for yourself"? Is this by nature always a good thing? Does it always accomplish what it is intended to? And if it doesn't, what's the benefit?



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    Do you have my answers? That Girl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Res View Post
    This idea came from a comment in the thread on submissiveness.

    What does it mean to "stand up for yourself"? Is this by nature always a good thing? Does it always accomplish what it is intended to? And if it doesn't, what's the benefit?
    It means killing the people who get in the way.
    /Looks around menacingly

    In all seriousness, I think standing up for yourself means allowing your opinions to be heard, acknowledging, and taking into the consideration the opinions of others, and letting your choice be known. It doesn't necessarily mean that you stick to your original decision but it does mean that you stick to your morals and personal standards. I use it to show that I am a capable and individual person. I'm not just another one of the masses who goes along with what everyone else is doing. However, I don't think that it always comes off this way.
    Sometimes, especially when people have a lot invested in changing your opinion, sticking to your guns can make you come off as excessively stubborn or arrogant. This shouldn't matter to you, as long as you are sticking to your morals as I said before. The benefit of doing this is that you are being true to yourself and that's what matters most. It's all well and good to make another person feel better but lying about your beliefs is taking that a step too far.
    "I was working on the proof of one of my poems all morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again."
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    "I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying."
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    Donor Blind Bandit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by That Girl View Post
    It means killing the people who get in the way.
    /Looks around menacingly

    In all seriousness, I think standing up for yourself means allowing your opinions to be heard, acknowledging, and taking into the consideration the opinions of others, and letting your choice be known. It doesn't necessarily mean that you stick to your original decision but it does mean that you stick to your morals and personal standards. I use it to show that I am a capable and individual person. I'm not just another one of the masses who goes along with what everyone else is doing. However, I don't think that it always comes off this way.
    Sometimes, especially when people have a lot invested in changing your opinion, sticking to your guns can make you come off as excessively stubborn or arrogant. This shouldn't matter to you, as long as you are sticking to your morals as I said before. The benefit of doing this is that you are being true to yourself and that's what matters most. It's all well and good to make another person feel better but lying about your beliefs is taking that a step too far.
    Very well said. I think its important that people realize some people will hate you standing up for yourself. They can't stand that you just don't roll over. I get this a lot. And frankly a lot don't understand that standing up for ones principles is very important. You may loose some people by standing up but they weren't important enough if they couldn't' respect you.

    Sadly there are a lot of aggressive people out their they may not be physically so but they do expect you to just agree with them don't feel bad for not falling in line when you can't agree.

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    it means defending what you believe and not being bullied, manipulated or unduly coerced into doing something that goes against your morals or self respect.
    Last edited by TinyBubbles; 10-05-10 at 05:28 AM.

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    Right the First Time! Quinlan's Avatar
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    I think standing up for yourself will always benefit if you are persistent, respectful, and composed. If you just vent to defend yourself, you'll find that you stood up for your beliefs, but you may have caused unnecessary harm in doing so. Sometimes, you may lose a friend or someone's respect because you stood up for yourself, but it will be worth it if you act and speak with integrity. Often times, though, you gain respect because you stayed true to yourself.
    Not letting yourself be taken advantage of or bullied almost always has good results in the long run, and can really help your self esteem and solidify your convictions.

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    Carrier of the INFJ antivirus the's Avatar
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    well it stands in contrast of not taking it sitting down.


    or bent over.
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    Gone trekking with Bilbo Baggins pics's Avatar
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    Thing is, i don't care much for confrontation or assertiveness, so in many cases, i don't "stand up for myself" which of course is seen as doormat behavior. The person who feels the need to prove themselves, wants others to prove themselves as well, and so each person is looking to the other to "flex" or "strut" or "show" to let everyone know that they won't let anyone walk all over them. Whenever i've tried that kind of posturing, for one, it's looks utterly ridiculous, and two, it just seemed as if i was trying too hard to prove something (which comes across as really weird or awkward), so i try not to waste as much energy "standing up" for myself (whatever that means). As a result, people will usually see you as an easy mark or a coward, less confident or even less competent, simply because you didn't "show them." Fact is (and many people will think i'm lying) i really don't care what people think, but i do care about the way you treat me. There is a difference. I don't care if you like me or love me just don't disrespect me. For me, standing up for myself, means walking away or not responding. If you perceive that as weakness . . . fine, just don't think i don't see what you're thinking or doing. And although this "walking away" or not responding isn't necessarily the easiest way to deal with things, i'd rather be comfortable with me as i am than prove anything to anyone else. I'm done fighting, as they say. It's too tiring. People are taught to care about what they "see," or what's "visible." And that's where the fault in perception lies. People mistake perception for reality.

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    Forgotten Entyqua's Avatar
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    Today I feel as if I dont know what this phrase means...
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    found this script on the inside of the tool aenima cd. i can't necessarily agree because i do believe in some things, though it makes me question what i choose to believe i guess.

    "Beliefs allow the mind to stop functioning. A non-functioning mind is clinically dead. Believe in nothing"

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    I usually let people walk on me over little things. It's completely due to my calm demeanor and my policy of never verbally judging people unless they ask for it. This makes me seem weak or submissive to most people I know. I only stand up for myself on issues I care about. For little things it's just much easier to let my friends go do and think what they want because it'll be done and over with that much faster if I don't argue or complain about it (or just do it myself).

    An example.
    Last November my roommate came home with a stray cat off the street and asked us if we wouldn't mind if we kept it. I didn't object because I love cats. We agreed we'd all do our part to take care of it. Now when it comes to doing any cat related chores like feeding, bathing, or cleaning the litter box I'm the only one that will do it. If not me then it won't be done. I knew this would happen as a condition of accepting the cat into my house because my roommates swear up and down they love a clean bathroom and will clean it every week. I went ahead and didn't lift a finger to keep it clean for 3 weeks to see what would happen. Of course it didn't get clean and I later finished it up. So I knew ahead of time what I was getting into. I'd be the one handling all the chores and cat upkeep on accepting Meowser into my home. (But its okay because I'm his favorite and he loves/cuddles with me the most )

    Now when poor Mow-Mow developed an abscess on his chest I took him to the campus vet school to get it treated. Then I pulled out my dirt and stood up for myself to force my roommates to split the hospital bill. They weren't originally going to.

    Not a big story or a big deal. But the mindset my roommates developed was that since I did all the work and let them get away with it the cat became 'mine' and whenever I asked if someone would clean the litter box for me they'd just say "It's your cat, you do it." Quoting my roommate who brought the furry bastard, expert spider killer into my house.

    Honestly in most situations for standing up for yourself that I encounter it's in regards to people wanting me to do things because they're lazy. I usually let them get away with it unless it's a work related task. I have yet to let people other than my parents dictate to me what I should or can believe it. I consider that standing up for myself. There are people all over this campus who will knock on your door to try to convert you to a x,y,z religion/denomination. Or another one of their favorite things to do is stand around busy sidewalks on campus and hand out fliers. I rip them up in front of them and walk away. Before you get upset it isn't because I hate religion. It's the arrogance that some stranger is trying to change my viewpoints. Even with the best of intentions it doesn't overshadow the goal to me. I'll stand up to it, even if it's a rude thing to do.
    Professional Sand Maker.

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    Temporarily Dismembered waterbaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Res View Post
    Thing is, i don't care much for confrontation or assertiveness, so in many cases, i don't "stand up for myself" which of course is seen as doormat behavior. The person who feels the need to prove themselves, wants others to prove themselves as well, and so each person is looking to the other to "flex" or "strut" or "show" to let everyone know that they won't let anyone walk all over them. Whenever i've tried that kind of posturing, for one, it's looks utterly ridiculous, and two, it just seemed as if i was trying too hard to prove something (which comes across as really weird or awkward), so i try not to waste as much energy "standing up" for myself (whatever that means). As a result, people will usually see you as an easy mark or a coward, less confident or even less competent, simply because you didn't "show them." Fact is (and many people will think i'm lying) i really don't care what people think, but i do care about the way you treat me. There is a difference. I don't care if you like me or love me just don't disrespect me. For me, standing up for myself, means walking away or not responding. If you perceive that as weakness . . . fine, just don't think i don't see what you're thinking or doing. And although this "walking away" or not responding isn't necessarily the easiest way to deal with things, i'd rather be comfortable with me as i am than prove anything to anyone else. I'm done fighting, as they say. It's too tiring. People are taught to care about what they "see," or what's "visible." And that's where the fault in perception lies. People mistake perception for reality.
    Most of the time, that's how I do it, too. It's very effective with people who aren't in your inner circle. I think it's a waste of energy too. I will say something to people who are closer if they aren't being respectful though.
    Nah, death is our nation's number one killer.
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