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Thread: Have you ever had someone 'take on' your personality?1812 days ago

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    On Holiday surreality's Avatar
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    Have you ever had someone 'take on' your personality?

    I weird thing is going on for me and I'm not sure what to make of it.

    This person who was in my life has kind of taken on my personality. It's actually creeping me out.

    The only other time I've observed someone doing anything like this, was this girl who I went to uni with, who would change her whole personality with every new guy she dated. She'd 'become' a completely different person. I saw it. A few other people saw it, and some people would be 'on' to her right away, but usually she was such a chameleon the guys would never know.

    So now this person who was in my life who was very different from me in many ways - the way they talked; the conversations they would have or topics they would discuss; intellectual interests etc. etc.




    Now I see this person daily and I swear it's like a seriously creepy version of personality identity theft.

    So, I'm wondering if anyone has ever experienced anything like that and what they did about it, if anything.

    btw I have a theory that this particular type of behaviour is a type 6 thing but I'd like to hear of other's experiences of it

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    talks with mind and heart Roger's Avatar
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    Just stay away from such people. They will remain chemeleon in their life, when they come to know they are enough with personality changes, they will stop this thing or may happen they never can get changed.

    Best solution become self defensive person when you are going to interact with such people either leave them as they are.

    Choice is yours.

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    On Holiday surreality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Federer View Post
    Just stay away from such people.
    Yeah. Good call. That's the most intelligent thing to do and that's what I'm doing IRL.

    Quote Originally Posted by Federer View Post
    They will remain chemeleon in their life, when they come to know they are enough with personality changes, they will stop this thing or may happen they never can get changed.
    Oh yeah, I'm pretty certain of that too.

    Quote Originally Posted by Federer View Post
    Best solution become self defensive person when you are going to interact with such people either leave them as they are.

    Choice is yours.
    Yeah, I'm no longer anywhere near them personally IRL...only thing is that they are a bigass online fraud and I see it constantly.

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    talks with mind and heart Roger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by surreality View Post
    only thing is that they are a bigass online fraud and I see it constantly.
    Perfect word "bigass online fraud" for such chameleons.

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    Permanent Fixture Top cat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Federer View Post
    Just stay away from such people. They will remain chemeleon in their life, when they come to know they are enough with personality changes, they will stop this thing or may happen they never can get changed..
    I pretty much agree with this answer too

    Or they will absorb so many personalities, they create their own hybrid-personality. Maybe.

    I have met these people a couple of times (and different kinds even!). They are very unstable, emotionally. They don't mean any harm, so I would just be nice to them but keep them at a distance. If you can, try to get the trust of everyone they speak to, and also see if they see the same things you do in this person. This is to prevent the person from doing any damage in case she gets a feeling you don't like her --these people get quite hostile and if you have everybody on your side, they have no chance. Keep your reputation up!

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    Permanent Fixture Top cat's Avatar
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    I also want to add this mimicking behaviour is normal in humans. Called mirror neuron

    I guess this type is a little more extreme

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    She Whose Name We Do Not Speak Skoffin's Avatar
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    For a time I was convinced that my sister was trying to steal my identity.
    We weren't as a like initially, we acted differently, dressed differently and so forth. Then over time it seemed like she was suddenly trying to become me.
    I was starting to be led to believe this for several reasons, one example is that I was listening to music and she told me to 'turn that shit off' and it seemed she didn't like the band I was listening to. This is relevant because online she would list that same band, and other artists I like, under her 'favourites'. It seemed weird that she would claim online to like something that she expressed to me that she doesn't like hearing.
    Another one was one week we walked past a clothing shop and stopped to look. We looked at a shirt which she claimed was awful and that she doesn't like that type of look, I then said that I actually liked it. About a week or two pass by and we pass the same shop, she goes to the *same shirt from before* and expresses how she wants it... buh?
    These and other minor things started to make me be wary, but I wasn't thinking much of it by that point.
    It was mainly when coming across her online journal and she writes some of the events of my life as her own that I start to get bothered...
    She has also taken many interests I have and passed them off as her own, then citing to others that I am imitating her. It especially irritates me when my father would show me something saying 'you'd like this' and to then have her come on over to claim that no, that's something she'd like, and 'Bron isn't interested in this stuff'.
    Bleh.

    So um.. yeah, I think she was trying to take on my personality. Although I really can't see why she'd want it.

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    Snowblind in Dreamland laurie's Avatar
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    Oh, those kind of people scare me.
    My friend (IN/SFP) used to do this when we were younger and I was always a little bit shocked when she started it ^^" Thankfully it didn't work for her (she's not a natural chameleon type) so we're still friends and she's her own person.
    The thing you said happened with that girl you knew also happened with my sister when she was younger, she would change to become really 'effeminate' and stuff when she mt a guy she liked. I talked to her about it eventually and, while it didn't go away immediately and she didn't take it too well, she doesn't do it anymore.
    I think it has something to do with age...
    "The Pear-drop girl was gone"
    I'm only a morning person, after that it's downhill all the way.
    I only write happy endings, or those that are bittersweet.
    Sadness cannot be the end, there is always a way to
    remedy it.

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    Absent-Minded Professor Moxie's Avatar
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    I think it has to do with age too. Younger people may try to take on other people's personalities to understand how they fit in the world. It may even be a defense or survival mechanism - they don't feel like they are surviving that well as themselves, so they take on the personality of another. Most of the time this passes within 6 months or so.

    I agree it's creepy. There's someone in my life (she's less than 10 years younger) that has been doing that too, and I can't stand it. I don't know why she picked flawed little me for Pete's sake, and keep praying she won't make the same mistakes I did... but there she goes, doing the same things.

    At the end of the day though, I totally understand it's her story... and although it still annoys the crap out of me, I feel bad for her that she didn't feel like being herself was enough.

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    Community Member Tulip's Avatar
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    Why do you think this person would want to copy your personality?

    Could it be that there is something in you that she admires or adores so she wants to be like you?


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    On Holiday surreality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gius View Post
    ...

    Or they will absorb so many personalities, they create their own hybrid-personality. Maybe.

    I have met these people a couple of times (and different kinds even!). They are very unstable, emotionally. They don't mean any harm, so I would just be nice to them but keep them at a distance. If you can, try to get the trust of everyone they speak to, and also see if they see the same things you do in this person. This is to prevent the person from doing any damage in case she gets a feeling you don't like her --these people get quite hostile and if you have everybody on your side, they have no chance. Keep your reputation up!
    From what you've said, I can tell you've dealt with what I'm talking about. I don't know about a hybrid personality. I would classify it more as a method actor personality, someone who takes on a whole new personality depending on the situation.

    The parts in bold in your second paragraph are very true.

    I believe this is due to the type 6 identification of their own personality through the relationships in their lives. It's like they absorb their own meaning out of the other significant person in their life. They actually search for it and need it to be able to feel secure in themselves. If they are healthy than it's ok but if they are not and had an unhealthy initial relationship, as in their parents, then shit happens over and over until they really understand themselves.

    From Type 6 Parental Orientation:

    Because they are connected to the protective figure, Sixes powerfully internalize their relationship with that person, whether it is a loving, supportive one, or a difficult, destructive one. They continue to play out in their lives the relationship with the person who held authority in their early childhood years.If Sixes as children perceived that their protective figure was benevolent, and a reliable source of guidance and encouragement, as adults, they will continue to look for similar direction and support from others, be it their spouse, their job, their therapist or a mentor.

    ...

    On the other hand, if Sixes experienced their protective figures as abusive, unfair, or controlling, they will internalize this relationship with authority and feel themselves always at odds with those who they believe have power over them. They walk through life fearing that they will be "in trouble" and unjustly punished, and adopt a defensive, rebellious attitude as a protection from the cruel protective figure they project into many of their relationships. Sixes who suffered extremely dysfunctional childhood environments may have been so devalued or ill-treated by their protective figure that they end up leading self-destructive, wasted lives as they unconsciously live out their protective figure’s negative image of them.

    Furthermore, just as Threes, to varying degrees, abandoned themselves to become more acceptable to their nurturing figures, Sixes abandon themselves to gain security from their protective figure or from someone or something which is acting as a substitute for that person. In both cases, Sixes feel cut off from an internal sense of their own stability, their own ability to move forward in the world with confidence. They may act this out directly, through a phobic, dependent approach to life, or they may react against it with assertive, counter-phobic behavior. Either way, Sixes are not really experiencing their own inner capacity and strength, and must constantly look outside themselves for reassurance, support, and evidence of their ability to successfully engage with life. As Sixes deteriorate, however, either their dependency on allies and authorities, or their hysterical reactions to them, increase until they actually destroy their own security.

    ...

    As a result of their identification with the protective figure, whether phobic or counter-phobic, Sixes are internally questioning their activities to see whether they will meet with the internalized standards of the protective figure—their superego. Like Ones, Sixes are often trying to figure out the "right" course of action, and they attempt to do this by thinking about how their various mentors, allies, and authority figures would respond to each choice. Sixes may go around and around in this process for days if the decision is a major one, because they are afraid of alienating any of their supporters. It is as though Sixes must regularly hold committee meetings in their imagination to "check in" with the different people with whom they have identified.

    In all Sixes, the pattern of orienting themselves to life by obtaining the reassurance and approval of others (who, in one way or another, function as external sources of security and support) is one which is deeply ingrained in their nature.
    So, if you've got someone like this who isn't aware of their need for a positive identification or even aware that their identification is negative because of a neglectful childhood, what you get is someone who goes from relationship to relationship strongly identifying with someone as a mentor, then destroying that by their fear and lashing out, yet taking everything that person was along with them as some sense of their own identity. It's fucked for sure.

    Edit: to add that the mirror neuron stuff was pretty interesting...thanks
    Last edited by surreality; 13-11-09 at 01:54 PM.

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    On Holiday surreality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skoffin View Post
    For a time I was convinced that my sister was trying to steal my identity.
    We weren't as a like initially, we acted differently, dressed differently and so forth. Then over time it seemed like she was suddenly trying to become me.
    I was starting to be led to believe this for several reasons, one example is that I was listening to music and she told me to 'turn that shit off' and it seemed she didn't like the band I was listening to. This is relevant because online she would list that same band, and other artists I like, under her 'favourites'. It seemed weird that she would claim online to like something that she expressed to me that she doesn't like hearing.
    Another one was one week we walked past a clothing shop and stopped to look. We looked at a shirt which she claimed was awful and that she doesn't like that type of look, I then said that I actually liked it. About a week or two pass by and we pass the same shop, she goes to the *same shirt from before* and expresses how she wants it... buh?
    These and other minor things started to make me be wary, but I wasn't thinking much of it by that point.
    It was mainly when coming across her online journal and she writes some of the events of my life as her own that I start to get bothered...
    She has also taken many interests I have and passed them off as her own, then citing to others that I am imitating her. It especially irritates me when my father would show me something saying 'you'd like this' and to then have her come on over to claim that no, that's something she'd like, and 'Bron isn't interested in this stuff'.
    Bleh.

    So um.. yeah, I think she was trying to take on my personality. Although I really can't see why she'd want it.
    The things in bold...yup. Things exactly like that and more....

    Bleh...yeah and creepy. At least to me since it's so incredibly fraudulant. I think though, that they aren't even aware of what they are doing even when it's so blatant that it's kind of astounding.

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    On Holiday surreality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by laurie View Post
    Oh, those kind of people scare me.
    ....

    I think it has something to do with age...
    It doesn't scare me so much as concern me. With this particular person it's more maturity level. They're not a kid anymore.

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    On Holiday surreality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moxie View Post
    .....

    At the end of the day though, I totally understand it's her story... and although it still annoys the crap out of me, I feel bad for her that she didn't feel like being herself was enough.
    Yeah, I agree with that.

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    On Holiday surreality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tulip View Post
    Why do you think this person would want to copy your personality?

    Could it be that there is something in you that she admires or adores so she wants to be like you?

    Well, it's a "he" not a "she" and I don't think they are aware the degree to which they are doing it.

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    Community Member Tulip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by surreality View Post
    Well, it's a "he" not a "she" and I don't think they are aware the degree to which they are doing it.
    It is strange...why would a male want to copy a female's personality?!

    Perhaps he wants to be like you intellectually at a subconscious level?

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    On Holiday surreality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tulip View Post
    It is strange...why would a male want to copy a female's personality?!

    Perhaps he wants to be like you intellectually at a subconscious level?
    The personality traits he's taken on are not gender related.

    Maybe.

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    Sushi Destroyer Tamagochi's Avatar
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    I'm too complex for this feat to be performed on me. Good luck to those who will try

    And it may be that they do it unconsciously. I imagine it could happen if a person has high Fe ability. So I would strive to help them finding their own way instead of running away.

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    Satisclassifaction NeverAmI's Avatar
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    I think I would be WAY too inclined to fuck with their mind. Not in a malicious sense, mind you.

    I would start acting randomly and see how it throws them off, throw a wrench in how they behave. Subtle randomness, just enough that they think to themself, wtf?? But not enough for open question. Eventually they will see what they are doing. I doubt they even realize.
    Last edited by NeverAmI; 13-11-09 at 03:56 PM.
    "Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats." -Howard Aiken

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    On Holiday surreality's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tamagochi View Post
    I'm too complex for this feat to be performed on me. Good luck to those who will try
    hehe well I'm pretty complex too :P The thing is it's all superficial stuff because the person is still themselves, they are just exhibiting certain outward behaviours, interests, ways of presenting..if that makes sense.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tamagochi View Post
    And it may be that they do it unconsciously. I imagine it could happen if a person has high Fe ability.
    Oh, I'm pretty sure it is unconscious. Actually the person's Fe is very limited. When I was in a relationship with them for over a year they had extreme difficulty Extraverting Feeling. It was all Fi and Se. They are not actually taking on Feeling or even understanding the other person's feelings. It's all mannerisms they are copying.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tamagochi View Post
    So I would strive to help them finding their own way instead of running away.
    hnh....I tried that for too long and got massive denial, projection and anger ...and finally attacked for my efforts. So, now they can find their own way...literally.

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