What kind of feminist are you? – 1482 days ago

[Ortorin]

Well, then could you give a very short reason for why you hate them? Now you've peaked my curiousity.

Short answer:

I have a REAL BIGproblem with men that mistreat women. Rape, abuse, ignoring them... anyway you put it I hate them.

By proxy, I dislike women that stay in the relationships with guys like that. I can never understand why...

Trust me, there is ALOT more I can post about this, it would be a short novel on this subject alone... but I don't feel like posting it.

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[Shai Gar]

I understand why they stay. I hate them for that. But that's not a reason to hate an entire gender.

What about your Father?, Brothers?, Grandfathers, Jesus?, Buddha?, Gandhi, ShaiGar?, Favourite Math Teachers?

[Ortorin]

I understand why they stay. I hate them for that. But that's not a reason to hate an entire gender.

What about your Father?, Brothers?, Grandfathers, Jesus?, Buddha?, Gandhi, ShaiGar?, Favourite Math Teachers?

Well, alot of thouse people I know to not be like that, so I have no problems with them. (except my brother Josh, he has actualy raped a girl... and got away with it, the next time I see him I'm going to pound his face in.)

The big point is when I get to know them, otherwise I distrust all men around any women I care around, hell women in general unless they prove to me that they are just stupid for staying in the relationships...

honestly, I just hate humanity as a whole for alot of reason. If I only could I'd set the world on fire.

I guess this all stems from a hate of myself, narsassistic rage syndrom?

[acd]

::sighs so hard her lungs collapse::

Women who stay with abusive men are not stupid or deserving of anyone's scorn. Read these articles if you care to.

http://www.surviving-abuse.com/why-d...tionships.html

http://www.maav.org/home/domestic-vi...relationships/

http://newsblaze.com/story/200711091.../topstory.html

Take into consideration that an abuser isolates their partner from friends and family through manipulation, and as a result, builds an emotional dependence in the victim. Then, the abuser proceeds to break down their partners self-esteem and confidence even more than it already is. Or, the abuser may choose a woman with no self esteem and reinforce her to maintain no self esteem.

After a violent episode, the abuser woos the victim back in a honeymoon stage and showers her with love and affection and promises... soon that ends and the next stage is tension building until the violent episode and then onto the honeymoon phase and back around all over again and again. The cycle serves to brainwash the victim further into hoping that the one they love will change.

Most women who find themselves in abusive relationships have a history of dysfunctional family lives as children. These issues go unresolved into adulthood. It doesn't make these people stupid; it makes them wounded and in need of help and support.

[Ortorin]

::sighs so hard her lungs collapse::

Women who stay with abusive men are not stupid or deserving of anyone's scorn. Read these articles if you care to.

http://www.surviving-abuse.com/why-d...tionships.html

http://www.maav.org/home/domestic-vi...relationships/

http://newsblaze.com/story/200711091.../topstory.html

Take into consideration that an abuser isolates their partner from friends and family through manipulation, and as a result, builds an emotional dependence in the victim. Then, the abuser proceeds to break down their partners self-esteem and confidence.

After a violent episode, the abuser woos the victim back in a honeymoon stage and showers her with love and affection and promises... soon that ends and the next stage is tension building until the violent episode and then onto the honeymoon phase and back around all over again and again. The cycle serves to brainwash the victim further into hoping that the one they love will change.

Most women who find themselves in abusive relationships have a history of dysfunctional family lives as children. These issues go unresolved into adulthood. It doesn't make these people stupid; it makes them wounded and in need of help and support.

Then...just....get...out..of...it!

It just puts my mind into compleat disbelief shutdown that anyone with any use of their left hemisphere would put up with this stuff...

GRRRR, this is why I didn't want to talk about it, now I'm all pissed off thinking about all this stuff and won't be able to get any good sleep tonight...

GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

[acd]

The only thing that will wake a woman up from the abuse is the support of friends and neighbors and family etc. who tell her that she is being abused. Being in an abusive relationship is like being under a spell. Reality is totally distorted. Getting angry at the women for not being able to see for themselves what's going on is counter productive. It's not like any woman goes on a first date with a guy and he punches her in the face and she goes right to bed with him and decides he's the man for her.

No. It's a very subtle process that occurs gradually and over time.

[Dragon]

Are you implying that feminists usually hate men?

Not this one!

Not usually- only sometimes. Of course, there is a word for that.

[Ortorin]

The only thing that will wake a woman up from the abuse is the support of friends and neighbors and family etc. who tell her that she is being abused. Being in an abusive relationship is like being under a spell. Reality is totally distorted. Getting angry at the women for not being able to see for themselves what's going on is counter productive. It's not like any woman goes on a first date with a guy and he punches her in the face and she goes right to bed with him and decides he's the man for her.

No. It's a very subtle process that occurs gradually and over time.

I'm not angry at the woman... I'm angry that this type of situation can happen to thinking feeling beings like ourselves.

How is it that we have lived for this long in a collective like this, yet still can't get rid of all the horrible things that alot of people do?!

I seriously want forced sterlization of all peope, man or woman, that are horrible like this.

And yes, all this shit I'm spewing right now comes from being hurt as a child... and anger towards my mother for her part of it... and well, the ENTIRE WORLD, for not helping me when I needed it... You have NO IDEA how hard it was for a child like me that had allready devloped understanding of the world way beyond what I should have at that age, to go through all the shit I did and not have ANY answers to why It was happening to me...

I need a cig...

[Shai Gar]

The only thing that will wake a woman up from the abuse is the support of friends and neighbors and family etc. who tell her that she is being abused. Being in an abusive relationship is like being under a spell. Reality is totally distorted. Getting angry at the women for not being able to see for themselves what's going on is counter productive. It's not like any woman goes on a first date with a guy and he punches her in the face and she goes right to bed with him and decides he's the man for her.

No. It's a very subtle process that occurs gradually and over time.

So what you're saying is that a woman is worthless without friends and family. Unable to make decisions or have willpower without people to tell her what to do?

These women are at best legally mentally retarded for not having the ability to reason or make decisions based on evidence. Of the INFJ Women I polled on this topic, 100% of them said that their willpower and decision making and values come from within.

Those women who remain in abusive relationships are pathetic.

[Koba]

So what you're saying is that a woman is worthless without friends and family. Unable to make decisions or have willpower without people to tell her what to do?

Everyone is going to come across some things that they can't surmount on their own.

[Shai Gar]

choosing whether or not to remain with someone in a romantic or sexual relationship isn't one of them.

[Koba]

oh okay

[Bored Now]

Aww I'm a feminist (thru and thru) and I adore men. Most of my friends are men and always have been. Always will be I'm sure. Men are nifty! I don't think abused woman are pathetic. I don't think I could ever be an abused woman,(because if you hit me, you better knock me unconscous.I'm not the one) but I still have sympathy. I've had friends who were their boyfriend's punching bags and it's hell to watch. Its very very frustrating. Especially when you help and they GO RIGHT FREAKING BACK. I've stopped friendships over crap like that.

[acd]

So what you're saying is that a woman is worthless without friends and family. Unable to make decisions or have willpower without people to tell her what to do?

These women are at best legally mentally retarded for not having the ability to reason or make decisions based on evidence. Of the INFJ Women I polled on this topic, 100% of them said that their willpower and decision making and values come from within.

Those women who remain in abusive relationships are pathetic.

Actually, those most succeptible to staying in an abusive relationship are women who are not well-adjusted due to a history of family dysfunction. (Didn't I already say that somewhere?)

If you grow up in one unhealthy environment where abuse is normalized, it is very difficult to jump to the idea that your pain is valid and you don't deserve to be treated in such a way. I think you are assuming that a person from this background is going to function the same way as a person who grew up in a healthy and stable environment. It would take a resilient person from a dysfunctional background to be able to just up and leave an abusive relationship on the spot--the first time, and never go back.

I can't accept any of your anger at women who are in abusive romantic relationships. Because I'm sure that those of you commenting have never been in one, and you're not able to empathize. You don't know the experience. I'm speaking from experience. I understand the psychology of a woman who stays with an abuser. I left mine the first time he touched me and never went back. But I did battle with myself over wanting to go back. And that was excruciating.


I was able to do this because my mother was physically abused by my father and she left him. She set an example for me there. If she had not left, the abuse would have been normalized for me and I either might have not left or had a much harder time doing so.

Another thing that helped me a lot was friends and family who were there for me to help me cope by spending time with me and getting my mind off the situation.

I think your anger is misguided because you're frustrated by what you don't understand. It seems like it should be so simple to you but it's not.



As far as your INFJ poll goes, I can believe that. To a point. But really, entirely from within? Because I doubt that all of those INFJs you polled are completely untouched by any socialization be it from their family, peers, or culture at large. We're ALL influenced by external forces to a degree, even the INFJs. Doesn't the INFJ search the external world to derrive their values from based on the people who surround them?

Perhaps your INFJs have been fortunate enough to have had very stable and happy home lives. I think your poll argument is flawed.

[Ortorin]

My anger is mostly directed at my mother for what she has done in a number of diffrent abusive relationships... some of the stuff I will never forgive her for.

[Creon]

As far as your INFJ poll goes, I can believe that. To a point. But really, entirely from within? Because I doubt that all of those INFJs you polled are completely untouched by any socialization be it from their family, peers, or culture at large. We're ALL influenced by external forces to a degree, even the INFJs. Doesn't the INFJ search the external world to derrive their values from based on the people who surround them?

There exists no human being unnafected by society, there is no "within" unless there is society and social external influence. Period.

[acd]

My anger is mostly directed at my mother for what she has done in a number of diffrent abusive relationships... some of the stuff I will never forgive her for.

I learned a long time ago that the one who suffers most from unforgiveness is the unforgiver. People tell you that, and it sounds so preachy and cliche.. But I had to forgive my ex. I realized that hating him and being angry kept me a prisoner of his even if I was far away; I was still allowing him to hurt me.

[Ortorin]

I learned a long time ago that the one who suffers most from unforgiveness is the unforgiver. People tell you that, and it sounds so preachy and cliche.. But I had to forgive my ex. I realized that hating him and being angry kept me a prisoner of his even if I was far away; I was still allowing him to hurt me.

I've tryed many times to forgive my mother and let things go... but it's ingraved into my my thought process so much at this point, I will never be able to. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother dealy, but there are certant that will never be right between us.

You know what? I'm just gonna start my little bio on here in my blog... then maybe you'll understand.

[acd]

I'll read it.

[Shai Gar]

There's no need to forgive. To heal you'll need to erase it from your make up. Forget instead.