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Thread: Clues that give you a hint that an INFJ is angry or uncomfortable...898 days ago

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    Newbie Michael Lloyd's Avatar
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    Clues that give you a hint that an INFJ is angry or uncomfortable...

    I have only known one INFJ in my life. He is very special to me. I know some times and i can recognize if he's angry or not, can you help me find some common things you have observed on infj's actions that gives you a clue that he's uncomfortable, angry, sad, depressed, i don't know...we all know that infj's speak more of actions and not so with words...if i am not mistaken *except with writing, maybe..



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    . Sadie's Avatar
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    If you are wondering how someone feels I would suggest asking the person, "are you angry, sad, upset, etc." I have found being direct is the best course of action. It keeps the line of communication open and not up for interpretation. Trying to guess how other people feel is tiring and sets relationships up in an unhealthy way. If you really want to know how someone feels just ask them.

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    is such a boss bitch. christmas's Avatar
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    hands around your neck

    seriously though, i find it hard to cover up certain facial expressions when i am uncomfortable to the point of being really upset about it. that boy says my expressions are similar for when i am angry and in pain. he said he notices things like a furrowed brow, pursed lips, and clenched fists.

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    mechanical and habitual agent Vict's Avatar
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    Tears of frustration.

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    A Leap of Faith Is Needed Seraphim's Avatar
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    I'm the one on the left.

    2012-03-24 02.22.10.jpg

    Note the attempted smile (Fe trying to be engaging and put up a pleasant front) and the distant, downcast eyes (Ni being all brooding and self-absorbed, giving away the fact that I'm really somewhere else).

    That's how you can tell when this INFJ is upset.
    "Life is not invented for happiness, I do believe. It is made for something else."--Arthur (The Book of Merlyn)

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    Community Member Whiskers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by christmas View Post
    seriously though, i find it hard to cover up certain facial expressions when i am uncomfortable to the point of being really upset about it.
    This really rings true for me as well. Nonverbal cues will likely be quite revelatory as to whether an INFJ is upset.

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    Cunt Waffle Extraordinaire Katniss Neverbeef's Avatar
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    Mhm i seem to be the same as the lot of you. I'm very expressive with both facial expressions and what my eyes convey. These can both give me away. If I'm really angry and upset with you or really hurt by you I won't look at you for fear of giving myself away. It's how I keep a little control for myself.

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    Untitled
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    I just radiate "upset" aswell. ;) It's not very subtle. My face looks like I swallowed some sour lemons and sat on a cactus. ...And then there's the lightning bolts shooting out of my ears.

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    Permanent Fixture AKM's Avatar
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    I also have a hard time with this. Usually if I think my INFJ is upset, angry, or depressed and I ask if they are I get "I'm fine." (Which then makes me think I'm crazy for thinking it, or that I'm the problem...either not being terribly healthy conclusions.)
    Because we don't know what is really important to us, Everything seems important.
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    We have to do everything.
    Other people, unfortunately, see us as doing everything, so they expect us to do everything.
    Doing everything keeps us so busy,
    We don't have time to think about, what is really important to us.
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    Newbie lightning23's Avatar
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    For me, if I'm uncomfortable I won't talk or make eye contact. If I'm upset you can always tell from my face cause I look very downcast and my eyes give me away. Though I agree with the above. I never like telling someone if I'm upset unless I know they are truly concerned or I know them very very well, and I've found that with my INFJ friends too. If I'm upset with you, I'll just stop talking, or I take sometime away from you. Maybe not healthiest, but it avoids confronting people about petty things and stops from insulting them or hurting them. I'm quick to forgive most things, so this is usually a short amount of time anyway.

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    Newbie Panthea's Avatar
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    When I'm upset I become quieter, more withholding and avoidant than usual. Usually it will be written all over my face as well, as I'm terrible at concealing my emotions.

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    and all the ways I got to know niffer's Avatar
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    Hey, looks like we have the same mbti and enneagram type, OP. : )

    It should be super obvious when an INFJ is upset or disappointed with you, from my point of view (Ne-Fi engage!) They will likely withdraw more, and be very obviously downcast around you if they do see you. If they feel like being bolder they might drop some angry stabbing comments at you here or there.

    It's harder to tell when an INFJ is being more subtly just vaguely "uncomfortable" with you. I'm guessing there's a lot of exaggerated courteousness and forced as fuck smiling.

    Help me out here bruthas.
    "Never assume that your criteria of behaviour and judgement are universal." http://hoffifer.tumblr.com/

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    Cunt Waffle Extraordinaire Katniss Neverbeef's Avatar
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    @niffer pretty much nailed it

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    A hand to hold ~ Endersgone's Avatar
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    When I'm angry I usually just become withdrawn/ cold, and I'll be more prone to starting arguments... which can get pretty heated.

    You can tell if I'm angry or uncomfortable, not so much if I'm depressed/ sad (though this is just my own experience).

    The INFJ will probably drop very subtle hints (which are easy to miss) that they'd like you to reach out to them - indulge/acknowledge them. I usually don't like asking for help or reassurance - I kind of hope that the other person will just "pick up on it"...

    I just might be a feelery TJ though... so perhaps my advice isn't that relevant.
    Last edited by Endersgone; 10-06-12 at 08:54 PM.
    “Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love still stands when all else has fallen.” -...

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    ~*Keeper of the Keys*~ Serenity's Avatar
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    I get cold, more distant than usual. I radiate this energy that says "get the f*** away from me" I usually don't have to say a word for others to know. I also will get snippy with my wording.
    I have sex daily.

    I mean dyslexia. Yeah definitely dyslexia.



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    On Holiday mochi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    (Ne-Fi engage!)
    Go go power rangers

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    no chocolate flavored gum? wow JGirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Lloyd View Post
    I have only known one INFJ in my life. He is very special to me. I know some times and i can recognize if he's angry or not, can you help me find some common things you have observed on infj's actions that gives you a clue that he's uncomfortable, angry, sad, depressed, i don't know...we all know that infj's speak more of actions and not so with words...if i am not mistaken *except with writing, maybe..
    you will know i'm angry or uncomfortable because i will tell you.
    i make absolutely no bones about it either.
    not that i'm always going on about it, because i don't, but if something is bugging me or on my mind i will definitely get it out there.

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    Urban shaman Radiant Shadow's Avatar
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    The only physical giveaway that I am angry is my eyes - they bleed rage while the rest of me stays chilly. Lack of communication is another really obvious sign. OTOH, if I'm uncomfortable then there is a subtly detached courtesy and false warmth in-person.
    "Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant."

    Hope is an anytime wreath, hung as a noose for the naive and savored as a wine by the wise.





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    On Holiday Lone Wolf's Avatar
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    They mean mug you and don't say anything.

    They act distraught.

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    Regular Poster Thinkist's Avatar
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    Perhaps ISTPs do this as well (at least they know well the cues that an INFJ can exhibit).... I wonder if a little Fe can bring an INFJ back to normality and out of their hole of detatched and reclused darkness.

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